Apologies, Glances and The Story of a Lonely Girl (Cont. 2)

Part Five:1

I've actually found a quote to sum up how I'm feeling about this whole situation right about now:2

The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace.3

and it's totally apt, because we have a kind of Helena-Demetrius thing going on... except we both actually like each other. 4

You know, Helena and Demetrius from A Midsummer Night's Dream?5

And I totally hate being here right now. I'm not sure why. But I do.6

He came in to the 6th form room today and only spoke to me, despite there being a few other people in the room... 7

but him coming in there is a sign, he never used to come in to the 6th form room unless it was after dinner to play pool. And yes, I know this for a fact.8

Then one day I told him about one of his friends getting 7balled on the pool table before dinner, and he was all, you were up here before dinner?9

Like he actually cared. 10

The next day I came up to the 6th form room before dinner, and he was up there.11

Hmmmmm. Shall see what happens next for this.12

Apart from the fact that he is now up there most days before dinner.13

And that he gave me some sympathy, and actually asked why I had my fingers taped together.14

I was taking a shot on the pool table and put a lot of force in to the shot, and accidentally cracked my fingers against the metal corner of the table. Twice.15

And now I can't bend my fingers, so they're taped up. Which also means I can't write very well, so I'm not doing much of that either.16

Polly and I have decided that, if D ever gets the guts to ask me out, she will have access to his arms. The deal with him being that for every time she gets to stroke his arms, he gets laid. If he follows her around the school because of it, I'm not too sure I mind.17

Especially if he's as good in bed in real life as he was in the dream I had about him last term...18

Because I have always tended to watch him, I now catch him looking at me, which is kind of cute. Especially as before he speaks to me he spends about ten minutes glancing at me to gage what my reaction to him speaking to me will be. Which he totally doesn't need to do. Me, on the other hand, I really need to learn when to shut up. Which I still haven't managed to do.19

And probably never will manage to do.20

But whatever.21

I am bored with this situation, and I am so fed up of his hot/cold attitude that I am actually going to smack someone. And the mood I'm in today, I felt like kicking him in the balls.22

He is bugging me so much it is unbelievable.23

When his stupid little friends are there, he acts as though he's indifferent towards me, but when they're not, he can be pretty ok. The fact that one of his friends is a total asshole bugs me too.24

I was sitting in the common room, and the asshole friend is sitting behind the pool table, and I was watching them play pool. He wasn't actually playing.25

And he says:26

"What are you looking at?"27

So I reply:28

"I'm watching them play pool."29

he says:30

"You're looking at me, aren't you?"31

Me:32

"Don't flatter yourself."33

Him:34

"What did you say?"35

Me:36

"I said don't flatter yourself."37

Him:38

"Well you couldn't fucking flatter your self, could you?"39

ASSHOLE!!!!!!40

And then D is just being stupid anyway, he kind of blanked me when I was informing him that we were having part of our exam on Monday, after he'd skived French.41

Then he kept looking at me when I came downstairs in to the dining hall. 42

And my friend kept pointing him out,43

BUT I NO LONGER CARE.44

This is way too boring for me, so now, it's his problem that he missed every single chance I've ever laid out.45

What can a girl do with a guy this stupid?46

And he keeps ignoring me, so you know what? I'll reciprocate... see how much he likes that...47

but that could just be me being a bitch again...48

who knows?49

who cares?50

I don't care any more....