A Faded Sea of Memory

I stare aimlessly1

out at the restless sea.2

I replay the past, 3

which is now just a 4

sea of it’s own; 5

a sea of memory.6

I’ve promised to myself7

this is the last time I’ll go8

back. I’ll move on with my 9

life, and stop letting these10

memories pull me down with11

each desperate and reckless attack.12

Tears stream down my face13

adding to the ocean below.14

As I relive the nightmares, the sea15

begins to overflow.16

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~17

I’ve re-entered my past, and I’m18

prepared to forget it all. I’m finally19

strong enough now to stand up and 20

proceed, after that hopeless and dispiriting21

fall.22

I can once again feel the pain.23

I feel the confusion, and exhaustion24

progressing brutally through each25

wearied vein.26

I look once more into the sea of my27

tears and memories. I see my reflection.28

I kick the water with my toes, and 29

watch as the painful memories fade.30

I feel a sense of happiness gradually 31

spreading thoroughly within as I take 32

part in my new, significant life that’s 33

just about to begin.34

As I begin to walk away, I feel a shake 35

beneath my feet. When I turn around, I36

no longer see a boundless ocean filled with37

my emotions and tears, but a luminous 38

field filled with animals, sunshine, green39

grass, and clouds, children playing freely,40

and endless possibilities. 41

I stare consciously out into the beautiful, 42

breathtaking field, and I see an opportunity43

to leave my old life behind, and start44

again with chances for good times and45

happiness. 46

Author notes

I wrote this because this new change that I felt take over my whole body made me feel so good. I felt like I should write about this amazing feeling. This time though, I decided to try and let this poem come from my heart. I thought maybe the story would be stronger. Do you think so???

A contest entry

I did something different this time...I let my heart tell the poem, so please let me know how you think it worked out.

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • Dinky Di
    December 4, 2006
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    The best poems are the ones that come straight from the heart. Your emotion showed strong in this write, and vivid imagery was engaging and re-eliterated the theme you chose. You really did a good job of 'showing' rather then 'telling', and that makes it a good poem.


  • Mai4ever
    November 26, 2006

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    I have to agree with Totem. The extra spacing between the lines does takes away the poem. However, you had a very nice pattern and the flow was steady. It was a tad bit long so maybe you could shorten it a bit. There was some repetitve spots like "the sea". I thought the title was very eye-catching. You could use a bit more detail and description. Overall, you have a nice idea!

    beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.


  • Token Massacre silver member
    November 25, 2006

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    I think that the extra spacing between lines is a little distracting and takes away from your message breaking it up into stanzas instead would improve that. Also the repetitiveness of "the sea" does as well. I think that by using other words you'd greatly improve your imagery and overall them. good luck in the contest.


  • Chemical Imbalance silver member
    November 25, 2006

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    I love the imagery u use in this poem. It flows nicely and I can tell it came from the heart. Good job. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck!