choices

27th April

Dear diary,

Today I went to a fete and a few of my mates dared me to go and see the psychic. She was a crazy old lady with long gray hair; I couldn’t help laughing at her. Anyway, as soon as she saw me she told me that bad things were going to happen to me. Then she looked deep into her crystal ball and concentrated. Then she repeated a strange rhyme to me that made no sense at all:

“Waiting, hoping, no one around;

In the dirt, on the ground.

Left alone, no one there,

Turn around, if you dare.

Listen to your inner voice.

It’s your fate; Make the choice.”

It looked as if she was going to cry as tears filled in her eyes. I told her to ‘relax, and come back to the real world’, then I walked out laughing. You’ve got to feel sorry for those people though, living their lives like that. Always in fear, what a waste of time I think. Anyway I am going, I have a long drive ahead of me. Ash is having a huge party at his holidays house up in Yarrawonga… Catch ya

Trey

****************

30th April

Dear diary,

It’s been almost 3 days now and I felt as if I had to write something down. I haven’t told anybody what happened. Stories have been all over the media, headlines in newspapers such as ‘child killer on the run’ and ‘cowardly killer’, as well as TV specials and radio interviews.

Fear fills me inside. I wonder if anybody will ever find out, and I wonder if he will be ok. He is in a critical condition at the moment, with little hope for the future. But knowing me I ran; fled the scene as fast as I could, not bothering to stop and help.

Confusion builds up in my mind, as well as many questions that I will never find the answers too. And now that I think about it, that psychic said something bad was going to happen and that was true. That silly old lady is freaking me out now. How could she possibly have known what was going to happen?

I must stop writing, my eyes are drowning with tears; I’m a mess…

Trey

****************

1st May

Dear diary,

Four days later… I saw that boy again last night. The image of him lying helpless on the side of the road has stayed with me and I fear that it always will. His bike was bent, next to his head, blood splattered all over it and the rest of the ground too.

I remember panicking, thinking of what to do next… wow, come to think of it, that psychic lady said something in her rhyme that has started to make me think “Left alone, no one there, Turn around, if you dare.” I had the choice, its true, but I remember speeding off, looking into the rear vision mirror only to see dust and the outline of the tree’s. It seemed as thought everything was going in slow motion that night.

Maybe that psychic could see the future and maybe she was truly frightened. This guilt is over whelming me, as I fill with more and more questions. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this.

Trey

****************

2nd May

Dear diary,

Yet another day has past, but the feelings stay somewhat the same. I found out that the boy died last night, in the hospital. They showed pictures of how badly I injured him. This is making further questions clutter my thoughts. Should I confess? Should I tell somebody that it was me that ran him over? When I get caught how long would I be in jail for? What would my family think of me? How can I possibly forget any of this?

I awoke last night, trembling with guilt and fear. I had seen the boy, he emerged in my dream, pale faced, with dried blood fixed to his face. Giant gashes across his head and arms. He stood there in front of me but said nothing. He tried opening his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t. That didn’t matter I could tell by his facial expressions exactly what he was thinking. He looked angry, but with his sad lonely eyes I could see the disappointment he held within him.

He slowly began to move closer to me. I froze, what could I possible do and how could I possible explain anything to him? When he was about a meter away form me, he stopped. Held his hand out. Then screamed. Not a normal scream. It was one I had never heard before; such an ear piercing noise. At that moment I woke up.

Will these nightmares stop? Will this horrible pain ever cease? I wonder how is family is coping right now. Would his brother ever be the same again?

I keep hearing that noise. It still rings in my ears.

I’m starting to see that the easiest way is to take my own life. Is it the only way to ease my pain? I hope not.

Trey

****************

3rd May,

Dear diary,

The psychic was right! The rhyme she’d read told the whole story, but I was just too ignorant to see. I understand now.

I left the boy waiting and hoping, as he lay in the dirt. He needed somebody to help him, but the truth is nobody else was around but me. As I sped off I had left him alone. I didn’t dare turn the car around.

Why? Because I was too scared. The voice inside my head told me to help him, told me to confess, but I didn’t.

She was correct; my fate was in my choices that night, but I chose the wrong ones and now I will pay the ultimate price. I must fix what I have done.

I have taken the life of another, and purposely didn’t help… Now I will take hold of the rope, and take my own life. It’s the only option left…

Goodbye, Trey

****************

“Waiting, hoping, no one around;

In the dirt, on the ground.

Left alone, no one there,

Turn around, if you dare.

Listen to your inner voice.

It’s your fate; Make the choice.”