MUGD - Chapter 3 (the triple G's)

The next thing I knew, Dan was in front of me, knocking the glass of punch out of my hands. I tried not to think of how he had gotten into the party when he didn't attend the school. Would they have seriously let him in?1

"Is that fruit punch?" he asked.2

"Probably." I shrugged. "Why?"3

"You didn't drink it, did you?" he asked.4

"Are you feeling OK?" I put my hand on his forehead.5

Dan grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the school. "A better question is, are you feeling OK?"6

When I thought about it, I could feel my face heating up, but that may have had to do with the embarrassing two minutes I had just experienced: Dan shouting my middle name and dragging me out of the school.7

“Get in the car,” Dan said, gesturing toward a maroon luminda, sitting in the pick-up lane. It was Chad’s mother’s car.8

“Hey, Monica,” said Chad from the passenger seat. “Dan had no trouble getting you, I see.”9

For a moment, I was seriously confused; Chad had called Dan by his name, instead of “Boss”, and he called me Monica instead of “The Girl“. When I gave Dan a questioning look, he nodded toward Chad’s mother, and then I understood: Dan had told The Guyz a lot of things , given all of the nicknames besides “Boss”, and Chad’s mother would have been downright confused and possibly suspicious.10

The car took off, and as I opened my mouth to speak, Dan pressed a finger to his lips. And I knew Dan would explain everything soon.11

We approached Tidal Park, and I said, “Thank you for taking us this far, ma’am. Dan and I can walk from here.”12

The car slowed down, and I thought Chad’s mother was about to park, but Chad said, “Mom, if it’s not too much trouble, could Dan and Monica hang with us for a couple hours?”13

“Of course, it’s no trouble,” said Chad’s mother, and she drove several blocks until the car stopped at a small brick house.14

“Come on, guys,” said Chad as he led them into the house, and into a messy bedroom.15

Chad and Dan sat down on the unmade bed, and Chad let out a heavy sigh. “Now that Mom’s gone…”16

Dad placed his elbows thighs, and tapped his fingertips together. He turned to Chad. “I thank you for housing this meeting.”17

“Sure, Boss,” said Chad. “Anything for The Girl.”18

That was more like it. I closed the door and sank into a pile of clothes. I was able to make myself at home, for Dan and I spent a lot of time there, but not quite as much as we spent at Eric’s. Eric was the teenager who completed the trio of The Gyz, At that time, however, Eric had the flu. But sick or not, something told me that that he was Dan’s favorite of The Guyz.19

“So, what’s this all about?” The suspense was killing me.20

“Did you drink that fruit punch?” Dan asked.21

“Well, hardly,” I said. “You knocked it out of my hands after the first sip.”22

“Thank goodness you only had one sip!” Dan released a heavy sigh of relief. He took something that looked like Dad’s bag of aspirin. “Take one of these.”23

“Why?”24

“Take it first, then I’ll explain.”25

I took the pill and looked at it for only a moment before tossing it into my mouth. “I can’t swallow it!”26

“Chew it up,” Dan ordered. “It won’t dissolve, you know.”27

I grinded it up with my teeth. It tasted horrible.28

“That’ll help with the swelling,” Dan murmured.29

“Swelling?” I stared at my reflection in Chad’s window. MY figure was distorted, but everything looked normal to me.30

“Yes,” said Dan. “Feel your neck; your throat’s swollen.”31

“Why?”32

“You’re allergic.”33

“To punch?” I asked sarcastically.34

“Grapes,” Dan corrected me. “And it’s lethal if you have too much of it.”35

“Oh, is that all?” I was in a very sarcastic mood all of a sudden36

“And garlic,” Dan added.37

“But Mom’s not allergic to-””Your dad is,” said Dan.38

“Is it possible to have a fatal allergy?” I asked.39

“Monica, don’t you remember when your dad was in the hospital?”40

Of course, I remembered. It had only been three years ago, and it was not something one could easily forget: 41

Dan and I were called to the office (we were both in Elementary school, then). The grumpy, middle-aged woman who sat behind the desk said a Janet Ginger was here, and had said there was an emergency at home, and that we needed to leave immediately.42

I had been scared, obviously, but Dan hadn’t seemed very concerned. 43

Mom drove us to the hospital, and on the way there, she explained that something had happened to Dad - something serious. - wait, it didn’t sound strange when she had said ‘your dad’ that time… weird -44

The nurse had showed us to his room. Mom had opened the door and entered, but the nurse had refused to let Dan and me in.45

“Doctor’s orders,” the nurse had murmured and walked away.46

“They’re only allowing one visitor at a time? I had asked. “I thought it was something serious! What’s wrong with Dad? I want to see Dad!” I had put my ear up to the door, and had heard a beep! beep! sound. “What’s that sound, Dan?”47

Dan had been hesitant to say, “It’s a heart monitor; it shows if his heart is beating or not.”48

“You’re silly, Dan,” I had said. “Your heart’s always beating!” I put my eear up to the door again. “Mom’s crying.49

Dan had started looking left and right. I couldn’t understand why he looked so worried, considering he and Dad never got along.50

“Let’s go get a snack,” he had said. “They have a cafeteria downstairs, and they’re not going to let us SEE YOUR DAD anyway.”51

I never understood why he had said “see your dad” that way.52

“Whatever you say, ‘Boss’.”53

We had walked through the hospital, weaving around corners in order to obey the signs directing us to the elevator. Four floors down, we had been some twelve yards from the cafeteria.54

“Why was Mom crying, Dan?” I had demanded after Dan had gotten us both a bag of chips and a soda.55

“Uh…”56

Was that panic I had seen in his eyes?57

“It was probably tears of joy that you were hearing.”58

I had shrugged. “Maybe, but…”59

A man around my dad’s age had looked at me from the cafeteria’s doorway. His gaze had given off a peculiar vibe; it was as though he knew me, but I didn’t know him.60

“Monica, don’t look now, but there’s a bright yellow spider next to your shoe!” Dan had said.61

Of course, I had looked. “Really funny, Dan. Maybe I’m not as smart as you, but I know that that’s not a spider; it’s mustard.”62

“Would you look at that,” Dan had said carelessly. “You’re right; my bad. Let’s go see if they’ll let us in your dad’s room yet.”63

“Did you see that man?” I had asked. “He was looking at me weird.”64

“This is a hospital. There are lots of weirdoes here.”65

“Yeah, but he looked kind of familiar-”66

“I really think we should check on your dad.”67

“Fine.”68

I had obeyed. The nurse had let us in/ The doctor had had a warm smile, and Dad had been in tip-top shape.69

“What about it?” I asked Dan as the hospital room slowly faded away and Chad’s messy room came back into view.70

“Allergies.”71

“But Dan, what about that man?” I asked. “I’m telling you, he looked familiar!”72

“That man has nothing to do with anything,” said Dan, who didn’t sound ver convincing. “Just know to check the ingredient labels on everything. Check for grapes and garlic. Can you remember that?”73

“Easy,” I replied, seriously tempted to yawn. “Garlic, grapes, and Ginger; they all start with ‘G’. This is basic Pre-K, Dan.”74

“Did I tell you Eric called?” Chad asked.75

Dan shook his head. “Is he doing better?”76

“Yep,” said Chad. “He’ll be back in school tomorrow. Unfortunately, The Chicks all caught it.”77

“Natasha said that only pigs say that,” I said.78

Dan grumbled something inaudible. “Do you think your mom would mind taking Monica home? I don’t need to come with; I’m staying at Uncle Sam’s.”79

‘Uncle Sam’ was another one of the L.S.P.P.’s names. Dan called my dad’s brother, Samuel, “Uncle Sam”, even though it was really his grandfather.80

Dan gave me a look square in the eyes, and I knew that that was my cue to leave.81

I asked Chad’s mother to drop me off at Tidal Park, and she granted my request.82

To my dismay, Mom was waiting for me at the kitchen table - that was bad news; it meant we needed to talk.83

I sighed, and took a seat opposite Mom. “What’s the topic for today?”84

“Boys,” Mom replied. “And respect.”85

“Huh?”86

“Your Aunt Juliana called.”87

“Oh.” I knew where this conversation was going. If that was the opening statement of my trial, I could expect a three-week sentence and a public apology.88

“She said you were asking her girls for advice about boys-”89

“Technically…” Dan was a boy, after all.90

“Don’t interrupt, please, let me finish,” she said. “Your aunt also claimed that you said she had inflated ego… The defendant may now speak.”91

“I was talking to them about the party,” I explained.92

“Speaking of which, you’re home early. Why?” Mom didn’t mind interrupting me.”93

“I wasn’t really in the party mood.” It was a half-truth, and I reasoned that a half-truth was better than a lie. “And as far as Aunt Julie goes… Oh, Mom, you know she’s out to get me.”94

“Hey, now,” Mom said. “Be fair. She is family, after all.”95

“I don’t have to go over there in a dress and make a fancy-dancey apology, do I?” I asked. “You know I hate dresses!”96

For a moment, Mom looked undecided, as though me wearing a frilly dress would be appropriate punishment.97

“Please, Mom, don’t-”98

“I’m not going to make you go over there and apologize,” she said.99

“Thanks, Mom, I-”100

“But you do have to call her and apologize.”101

“Aw, Mom.” I said, “It’s her own fault. If she wasn’t out to get me…”102

“Enough nonsense.” Mom stood up from the table. “Call her now.”103

Guilty as charged! My sentence was set, and my trial was adjourned.104

I called Aunt Julie, and, as I had expected, she was rude, arrogant, and wouldn’t hastily forgive me.105

“Your mother’s forced you to do this, I take it?” she asked.106

“I have noted my error, and will see to it that it does not reoccur.” It was very difficult for me to speak properly. “May you forgive me, Aunt Juliana?”107

“Give me a moment, child,” she said. “I shall put you on hold while I come to my conclusion.”108

I waited ten “moments” before she ever came back to the phone. “Being the kind and generous person I am, I suppose I may offer you my forgiveness.”109

“Much appreciated, Aunt J-”110

“On one condition.”111

I should have known that was too easy. “What is the favor you would have me do you?”112

“Oh, no, no, Monica, this is no favor.” I could tell, Aunt Julie was enjoying every bit of this. “This is to repair the wounds that your insults have left. I want you to groom Sparkle.”113

“Yes, ma’am.” I could feel a scheme unfolding in my head. “Shall I be over promptly at eleven o’clock? Great. Good evening.”114

Overall, I was proud of myself, for I would be in school at eleven, but Aunt Julie didn’t know that - or anything about public school, for that matter. Both her daughters were privately tutored, and as far as I was concerned, they were dodoes to boot.115

I went to bed early that night, but my mind was restless: full of vampires, alcoholics, bad breath, and that man at the hospital.116

When I awoke the next morning, everything, as usual, started out normal. During math, however, I was half-expecting to be called down to the office to go home and wash Aunt Julie’s poodle. But no one from the office called my name, and apart from some minor drowsiness, I felt fine.117

When I arrived at Dan’s school at three o’clock, The Guyz were waiting for me with Dan - including Eric. His hair was a pale blond and buzzed.118

“You’re not sick anymore,” I said.119

“Nope.” Eric looked really happy and well. “You ready to go, Monica?”120

Dan glared at him. To some, he looked like he might be sick, but I knew better; there were certain rules that the L.S.P.P guards had to follow, most of which I didn’t even know. I did know the first three, though.121

1. No one could call me by name (this kept them from thinking of me as more than a friend…I shuddered at the thought).122

2. No one could flirt with, go out with, or have any feelings for me. NO exceptions (again, I shudder).123

3. Breaking any of these rules will result in banishment from L.S.P.P.124

“Sorry, Boss, my bad,” said Eric. “Your ready to go, Girl?”125

The next morning, everything that had happened between The Boss, The Guyz, and The Girl seemed non-existent - until I made it to Dan’s school that afternoon.126

Something prevented me from going into the building, though: someone cried out, and the cry was immediately followed by a deep growl. My curiosity got the best of me, and I crept to the side of the building. The scene displayed before my eyes made me wonder if I was having a horrible nightmare. I pinched myself. I was awake.127

Careful to keep in the shadows, I watched the horrible nightmare-like scenario enfold:128

Eric was on the ground. He stood up and looked Dan square in the eys.129

“A duel to the death!” Dan declared, and without warning, punched Eric across the face.130

Eric tried to return the attack, but Dan was faster and swifter.131

Dan punched him again, twice more, then finished him off with a kick. “You are hereby banished from the line of guards for L.S.P.P. You no longer know us, nor we, you. Good bye, Eric.” 132