Against my will (continued)

When Jessie got home, she went straight to her room and cried herself to sleep. She laid curled up on the bed with one blanket over her and the lights out. A million thoughts were running through her mind. "What just happened to me?" "Why did this happen to me?" "How did this happen?" "Was it something i did?" "How could he do that to me?" "What do i do now?" "I feel so dirty." "Do i tell anyone or will they even believe me?" The more she thought about it, the harder she cried. She felt violated and helpless. "God, how could i have been so stupid? Why didn't i try harder to push him off? Was he right? Did i want that? No, i didn't, i just wanted to talk and maybe a kiss or two. It shouldn't have happened like that. Oh god help me." 1

The next few days, Jamie tried calling her but Jessie wouldn't pick up her phone or call her back or anything. "Has anybody seen Jessie?" Jamie asked. "No, i haven't seen her since the party." Erin said. "Dude, i saw her in Brad Tompkins car across the street." Erin's boyfriend, Chris said. "When?" "At the party." "Oh. What happened?" "I dunno, i couldn't see that far." "I'm worried, i tried calling her but she hasn't answered or picked up, and i saw her walking, i think home, at the party." "Home? But she lives on the other side of town from where Allison's was." "Yea i know." 2

On Monday morning, Jessie's mom knocked on Jessie's door. "Jess...time for school." Jessie was already awake but she was lying in bed. "Jessie, honey, are you ok? Are you sick?" "No, I'm not sick." Jessie's voice was dry and groggy. "Then what's wrong? You haven't been out of your room in 2 days. Are you feeling ok?" No response. "Jessica Lynn! Answer me." The door slowly opened and Jessie's face appeared, "I'll be ready in 10 minutes ok?" She said dryly. "Ok sweetie. Are you feeling ok, you look pale." "I'm fine." She said closing the door. She got dressed in jeans and a big hoodie and put her hair in a messy bun. She looked at herself in the mirror and burst into tears and slumped to the floor. She covered her face and screamed in her hands. She leaned her back up against a wall and starred at the ceiling. "Why the fuck should i even go to school. I'll see...him." She debated with herself. "I should go to see my friends, and do get my work done." She tried her tears and stood up and straightened her clothes. She grabbed her purse and books and left. 3

At school, she went to were Jamie, her and her friends usually met. She walked slowly to the cafeteria, she wasn't in any hurry to get to school. When she got there, she sat down and rested her head on the table. Jamie came up behind her, "You bitch, you haven't returned any of my phone calls, are you breaking up with me?" Jamie joked. Jessie didn't make a sound or a move. "Jess, i was just kidding. Are you ok?" Jessie forced her head up as tears filled her eyes and looked at Jamie, "No...no, I'm not ok." She said as she burst into tears by simply saying that sentence. "Oh my god, honey, what's wrong? Oh my god? What happened?" Jessie put her head in Jamie's lap. "I don't know how it happened." "Know how what happened? What's happened?" Jamie asked concerned. "Did something happen between you and Brad?" Jessie lowered her head. "Something did happened between you and Brad didn't it?" Jessie took a deep breathe and grabbed Jamie's shoulders firmly. "Jamie...you can not, i repeat can not tell anybody what i am about to tell you? Ok?" "I swear to god! What happened?" "Ok...we wanted to go some place to "talk" and he suggested his car, so we went to his car and for a few minutes, neither of us said anything, but then he leaned over and kissed me, and then he did it again but more...aggressive this time, and he tried to get on top of me and he..." Just then, Brad walked by and winked at Jessie. Jessie panicked and grabbed her books and ran off. "Jessie?! Where are you going? Jessica!"4