Autumn and Winter

You remind me of autumn, after so much you give me a relief just by being there. You make me laugh you make me smile you make me happy. You’re truly gorgeous, just like the autumn leaves of different colours as they fall. But I feel like I could never fall when I’m with you, and I know if I did you’d help me to my feet again. Like autumn, because we all know that winter’s going to come, things can only get worse, because I cant imagine being without you, things can only be worse after. 1

Autumn sat, her long black hair blown across her pale face, Sam standing beside her, drumming on his bag. As Winter, Paul and Sarah approached they both stood, Autumn attempting a flip. Autumn looked her up and down, as if to make her judgement. Winter wore black three-quarter lengths and a stripy top, her ginger hair curled around her face. Winter paused in fear, a moment of shyness, her eyes facing away as the others spoke.2

‘Autumn this is Winter and Paul,’ Sarah said, gesturing towards them.3

‘Hi,’ Winter mumbled as usual, trying to seem confident. She was nervous, she had heard so much of Autumn from others. Although they had gotten on reasonably well online, she had a reputation of violence and being protective, and Winter knew in the back of her mind that she had regrettably not treated Sarah as well as she should have done. So she stayed guarded, her shoulders hunched, her hair draped over face, waiting for the worst. 4

Heading to the Swan Centre, Winter couldn’t not look at Autumn she had a confident walk with strong arms clenched. Her black hair hung perfectly across her back over her baggy grey t-shirt , leading to well fitting ripped jeans. She was a tom boy, that was for sure but something about her drew winter towards her. Autumn walked on with big strides, seeming so confident and careless. In comparison Winter walked with her rounded shoulders, her head low in a deep thought daze.5

They walked around town shopping and spending time with one another. And then left, walking back to Sarah’s house. They sat in her bedroom, Winter listening intently to Autumn’s every word with curiosity, attempting to come up with an intelligent response. And Winter found herself looking for excuses to make small talk with Autumn, anything to get her attention. She grabbed a drink and then headed her way back upstairs. She glanced around the room, ‘where shall I sit?’ she thought to herself, there was no where, and then she turned to see the space on the bed next to Autumn. At first she grinned at the opportunity and then Sarah’s words rung inside her head, ‘don’t make a move on her, she gets homophobic sometimes.’ Winter cringed; they slid onto the bed, trying to stay as far from Autumn as possible, she didn’t want to spoil the chances of a friendship.6

Later that day autumn left with Sam, leaving winter confused and even more curious. There was so much mystery, from their conversations autumn had seemed so different from her feisty reputation, she seemed loyal, kind and almost gentle at times. Thankfully autumn was returning that evening to stay at Sarah’s. When autumn arrived, winter’s boredom seemed to fade, her full attention was on autumn. Unlike her other friends, winter could put up a fight with autumn. She could take out all her rage and frustration, knowing autumn was made out of iron. They went from fighting to talking and laughing, it was unlike any other friendship she had, and yet winter knew she was falling, beginning to care about the girl she had hated only days ago. At one point they were wrestling in the kitchen in the kitchen doorway. Winter forced autumn to the floor to have her arm bitten into sharply. She felt the teeth digging into her but she didn’t stop her, any sort of contact with autumn she seemed to like. Until her low pain threshold could barely take it and she dug her nails into autumn’s neck. She began to stomp trying to distract herself from the pain, but as she looked over to autumn grasping her neck she only felt guilt. 7

The night continued, drinking red square and WKD, listening to music watching films, although winter’s attention was rarely on what it was meant to be, her eyes peering towards Autumn. 8

‘I’m boiling,’ Autumn muttered, lazing across the couch. 9

‘Go and lie on the kitchen floor that will cool you down,’ Winter mumbled, trying to seem careless. 10

Autumn did so, and Winter followed, pretending to get a drink and then sitting on the kitchen floor across from Autumn. They began to talk, and as they both slid down to lying aside each other, joking around and talking about anything and everything, winter began to realise how much she was alike to Autumn, and her breaths deepened as she realised she saw autumn as slightly more than a friend. It scared her, she knew she needed to control herself although she found it hard, she’d only met autumn that day, it was insane. 11

They ended up almost asleep in the lounge, winter reached up to stretch, her hand brushing autumn’s, and she tingled, as a big grin covered her face, thankfully it was too dark for anyone to see. She did it again, as they started to chat again and slowly she placed her hand beside Autumn’s, enjoying the contact. Truth or dare came about as it often did at party’s and winter felt strangely comfortable to say a lot rather than a little. She cringed at the thought of saying too much, putting her new friends off, but they all listened, and all, especially autumn seemed to understand. 12

The morning eventually came, and Winter said her goodbye to Autumn, wanting to hug her, but controlling herself, running up the stairs to get changed for work. The bruise from the bite was clear, painful but almost beautiful, Autumn had made her mark, and she glanced at the bruise through out that day with a good memory. That evening they spoke online, joking and talking, and Autumn decided on a sleep over the next night. She invited her. Bringing a bright smile to winter’s face.13

Winter got the bus to Autumn’s house, almost getting lost, but as she arrived a bright smile covered both their faces as they made their way upstairs. Sam and Autumn began to fight, her white t-shirt rising to reveal a tanned back, flesh Winter wanted to touch and she didn’t know why. As they fought on, autumn watched, smiling and laughing as they became out of breath, wanting to get involved. Finally Winter got the chance, winding Autumn up until she lashed out and they begun to wrestle on the bed, a permanent grin on her face. She felt pain, but ignored it, the close contact was more than enough to take over it all. 14

‘Do you mind?’ Autumn asked, noticing Winter’s hands reaching a compromising position.15

‘Not at all,’ Winter replied with a cheeky smile.16

As they fought and fought, falling and hitting every bone, Winter began to realise Autumn’s weakness of being ticklish and took advantage. As Winter became out of breath, she took a break letting Sam fight her again, until she fell back off the bed, falling conveniently into Winter’s lap where she stayed, catching her breath for a few minutes.17

**18

‘Indian?’ Autumn asked, getting out the list of food they were going to order.19

Winter’s smile faded. ‘why do I have to be so fussy!?’ she screamed inside her head. And then finally answered: ‘I’m not hungry thanks.’20

But autumn wasn’t the sort to give up, she pushed it and pushed it, making winter more and more uncomfortable, she wanted to be easy going, she wanted to impress autumn but this was one way she couldn’t. 21

They ate, and winter found herself trying duck and pancakes and surprisingly liking them and eating more, seeing that smile on Autumn’s face was more than enough even if she’d hated it. 22

They all left the table sitting down to watch a movie, the fifth element. Autumn sat down, and winter tried to get the seat closest to her on the sofa. Something had taken over winter, she was looking for any excuse to touch or talk to autumn, and she had to concentrate fully to resist the urge. They all quoted the movie, as Winter sat listening intently, laughing at the right points. 23

‘Hey have you got that film?’ asked one of the others.24

‘Err yeah I’ll go and get it,’ autumn replied.25

Winter watched as she walked out the door, and then absent-mindedly followed. They went up the stairs in darkness, and reached her room. Autumn turned to see winter. For a second winter thought of taking her chance, kissing autumn, but she couldn’t, not when the silence was broken with harsh words.26

‘Why are you following me everywhere?’ 27

Winter turned, running back down to watch the movie, trying to pretend it had never happened. She felt so confused, at some points autumn seemed to be returning her feelings, other times it seemed the opposite. As the movie came to an end, everyone spread out, some into the conservatory, others in Autumn’s room. Autumn went into the kitchen, Winter restrained her body, until finally autumn returned with marshmallows. They downed them quickly until they felt sick. Laughing and talking as they did so.28

‘Hey, I need a drink, want one?’ Autumn asked as they walked through to the empty kitchen.29

Winter sat down, watching autumn, her fringe covering her curious eyes. They both sat at the table. 30

‘Truth or dare?’ autumn asked, a mischievous smile on her face. 31

‘Truth,’ Winter said cowardly, too scared of the dares.32

‘How far have you gone with Sarah?’ 33

Winter exhaled in a sigh, her cheeks blushed a little, and then she made the gesture quickly.34

‘Truth or dare?’35

‘Dare,’ Autumn said bravely.36

‘Ok, lick the wall, from bottom to top.’37

Autumn did so, her body grinding against the wall, and then she returned to her seat.38

‘Truth or dare?’ Sarah asked as she drunkenly walked in, having downed two glasses of wine.39

‘Dare,’ Winter replied, trying to seem brave.40

‘Kiss me.’41

They all laughed, winter turned to Sarah, ‘ok.’ And she staggered towards Sarah and placed a kiss on her lips. 42

‘Truth or dare?’ Winter asked, looking Autumn in the eye.43

‘Dare.’44

‘Kiss Sarah.’45

Autumn sighed but eventually went through with the dare. Winter could only watch, she had become more and more curious about Autumn’s kiss, as she had a vicious and gentle side.46

‘Truth or dare?’ Sarah asked Winter.47

Winter was longing for the dare of kissing Autumn, but she knew it wouldn’t come.48

Winter hesitated, and then said ‘Truth.’49

‘Do you like Autumn?’50

Winter’s mouth dropped, she had no idea what to say. ‘Shit…’ she thought to herself. And then laughed it off, mumbling ‘no.’51

‘Everyone thinks you like each other!’52

‘Ok, truth or dare Autumn?’ Winter asked, quickly changing the subject, although she was wanting it to be true inside.53

‘How about you leave us alone? We were having a good game of truth or dare.’ Autumn said, facing the others. And so they left.54

‘Truth.’55

‘Urm… is Sarah the only girl you’ve liked?’56

‘Yes,’ she said bluntly.57

Winter began to lose hope, what chance did she have in being included in that 10% that swayed towards girls. 58

The game came to an end, after chicken dances, and other craziness, as they got more tired and so they returned to the lounge, sitting on the sofa. Autumn casually placed her legs over Winter’s lap and sat back. Their eyes began to flicker open and closed as they got more tired, it was well into the early hours of the morning now. Winter fell back, resting her head on Autumn’s stomach. She thought she might get pushed back off but she wasn’t, Autumn simply gave in and put her arm around Winter as she fell asleep almost.59

Winter felt relaxed as her arms wrapped around autumn, her body was warm, and her clothing was soft against Winter’s face. She was too afraid to sleep, she fought the temptation, knowing she might snore or dribble or worse, putting autumn off. So she lay half asleep on top of autumn, trying to stay awake. Sam’s snoring quickly stopped them both from sleeping.60

‘Grr!’ Autumn whispered, throwing a pillow at Sam’s head to stop him from snoring. 61

Winter laughed, sitting up to look at autumn, almost getting lost in her eyes. 62

Pillow after pillow they threw at him, but he didn’t seem to shut up and so they moved into the conservatory together. Lying down with each other they began to doze, but the tick-tock tick-tock of the clock irritated them too much, ringing in their ears.63

‘My room?’ autumn suggested.64

And so they made their way upstairs, staggering with tired legs, until they passed out on Autumn’s bedroom floor. Autumn grabbed them both cuddly toys to rest their heads on. Ginger and Simba, both soft enough to sleep on. But winter found herself once again unable to sleep, and so sat up a bit, staring at Autumn. She looked good even though she was shattered, her hair still perfectly silky and straight, her eyes still as blue as she looked up to Winter.65

‘You okay?’66

‘Yeah,’ Winter replied, yawning and sinking down onto the floor once more.67

Autumn stretched, her hand reached out onto the floor in front of Winter. Her hand lay limply, and Winter couldn’t resist. She stretched out, and placed her hand on Autumn’s. It was warm and soft she noticed, and so as Winter dozed, she ran her fingers gently over Autumn’s palm. Winter smiled as Autumn didn’t seem to mind, and returned the favour once in a while. 68

Later the others left, and Sarah made her way up the stairs. And autumn got up and walked into the bathroom, leaving winter and Sarah to lye at opposite ends of the bed, falling asleep, until her parents arrived to take them both home.69

Later that day, they both appeared online and spoke. 70

Winter: hey71

Autumn: u alright?72

Winter: yeh u?73

Autumn: yeah im fine now74

Winter: slept?75

Autumn: haha! yup! since you left till just now76

Autumn: u?77

Winter: naa... im not too tired.. i fell asleep briefly in the kitchen... but my mum woke me cos i was ment to be doin chores lol78

Winter: im doin u the drawing u requested79

Autumn: cool! ^^ whats it of?!80

Winter: gravitation81

Autumn: woo!!!!82

Winter: lol83

Winter: i'll prob do more than one... so u can choose.. 84

Winter: or have them all85

Winter: lol86

Winter: nice display pic87

Autumn: thanks, so true tho!88

Winter: yeeh89

Winter: =]90

Winter: wat u up2 for the rest of teh day>91

Autumn: i keep pressing all the wrong keys for websites!92

Autumn: later on tonight i am going to JKD then i plan on dying...93

Autumn: you?94

Winter: aww lol im doing nothing except prob going to bed super early lol95

Autumn: haha96

Winter: lol97

Autumn: truth or dare?98

Winter: truth99

Autumn: why were you stroking my hand last night/morning?100

Winter: i think i'd prefer the dare rite now101

Autumn: come on!!102

Winter: cos i felt like it 103

Winter: sorry..104

Autumn: why are you sorry?105

Winter: i dont know.. the way u sed it, it seemed like u were annoyed about it or sumthin106

Winter: n i dont wanna piss u off107

Autumn: haha!!108

Autumn: i find that funny!109

Winter: wat!?110

Winter: meh..111

Autumn: you dont wanna piss me off112

Winter: yeh cos i wanna be firends..113

Autumn: we are friends you plank114

Winter: ok kool115

Winter: truth or dare?116

Autumn: dare117

Winter: dare u to tell me why at one point u did it back.. 118

Winter: or was that my imaginatiion119

Autumn: you cant do that!!120

Winter: i can121

Winter: its a dare122

Winter: hehe123

Autumn: fiiine124

Autumn: because i thought if i did it back you wouldnt stop cos it was a nice feeling125

Winter: ok126

Winter: kool127

‘Hello?’ the phone rang a few days later at Winter’s.128

‘Hi, are you busy?’ Autumn replied.129

‘No not at all,’ Winter replied, a smile filling her face.130

‘Want to call me back for a chat?’131

‘Yeah sure.’132

They talked for what seemed like hours; telling each other secrets, joking around, and sharing interests. Winter listened with ease, Autumn spoke with such enthusiasm about almost everything. 133

‘What you up to on Thursday?’ Autumn asked.134

‘Nothing!’ Winter hastily replied.135

‘Do you want to go into Southampton or something?’136

‘Yeah sure.’137

Another dozen conversations online, and a phone call on the way to the station and then came the rendezvous. 138

They met on the train, Winter trying to walk as confidently as Autumn always did, sitting on the seat opposite her. Her black hair was up out of her face, and she wore a white t-shirt and black three quarter-lengths which fitted well. She sat quietly, looking down at her mobile, as Winter shuffled to get comfortable, flicking her train ticket on the table between them.139

‘Hey,’ Winter mumbled, trying to break the silence, ‘I thought you hated having your hair up?’140

‘I do, it was just in my face and annoyed me,’ she said, flicking her hair back, until finally she couldn’t take it, and tore the band from her hair, letting it fall down in a straight wisp of black silk.141

‘It looked fine, leave it up if you want to!’ Winter said, at the realisation that Autumn looked almost irresistible both ways. ‘Had a good week?’142

‘Not really…it’s been boring at home with irritating parents.’143

‘Fair enough.’144

They sat on the train, Winter staring at Autumn in the corner of her eye. Autumn replaced her phone in her pocket, and then rested her hands out on the table. Winter inhaled, all she wanted to do was reach out and hold that hand. 145