Domtar 5

DOMTAR 51

‘Tag; You’re It!’2

There.3

He had her.4

Domtar leapt from the top of the stairs and into the centre of a crowd of people. Platinum hair swung past his slitted, silver eyes and over alabaster syntho-skin.5

When the people screamed, she turned and saw him. Her eyes widened in fearful recognition at his predatory grin. 6

“Mara? Mara – where are you - ?” She pushed her friend roughly aside and bolted from the building.7

A low growl escaped Domtar’s throat and hid=s smile widened. He loved a good chase – and this one was about to be great. 8

He only lost sight of her for a second. She had gone… somewhere and he hopped onto a hover-car to get a better view. The alarm shrieked and the owner yelled at him to get off, get down from there! He stopped the man with a cold stare and a toothy grimace.9

He left the roof and landed on his two feet, spotting the girl as she darted into a side road. Another car screeched to a halt beside him, and the horn blared. He glared at the occupants; one precious second lost and smashed his titanium fist into the hood. Now he was much less confident; he hurried after the girl – Mara – at his top speed.10

He wasn’t smiling anymore.11

He almost ran past the alley she had turned down. He had been down this one many times before. It lad eventually to a busy street, but was blocked halfway by an eight-foot-tall metal fence topped with coils of barbed wire.12

There.13

She was at the top of the fence now; a piece of pink fabric tore from her skirt and clung to the wire. The barbs left bloodless scratches on her tan skin. She turned and made her way halfway down before she missed a foothold and fell to the pavement with a squeal. 14

She was on her feet and running by the time Domtar reached the top of the fence. He didn’t waste time climbing down. Instead, he flew through the air and hit the ground. He tripped – on what? – and rolled into an upright position. It took a while for him to shake off the mild vertigo, but in a flash, he was at her heels. 15

Mara could feel his close proximity and she put on an extra burst of speed. She turned suddenly into another alley and he came to a screeching halt.16

She didn’t know it was a dead end, then.17

She really needed to review her neighborhood.18

Oh, well.19

Too late.20

There.21

She felt his silver eyes lock onto her and tried not to scream.22

He smiled again, heart pumping vital fluids to his limbs at a slow, steady rate.23

And there.24

Mara’s foot fell onto a bottle that some careless person forgot to dispose of. It didn’t break, but instead rolled under her foot. She lost her balance and fell. She probably twisted her ankle. She rose to her knees and started crawling – tears flowed down her face; she was panting, gasping towards the end of the alleyway.25

Domtar slowed his pace; drawing out her panic. She hadn’t noticed that wall, yet. Poor girl. He would’ve felt pity for her, but that was a human emotion. 26

She was watching him, looking over her thin shoulders as she struggled towards what she thought was salvation. She saw his sharp-fanged smirk and looked (finally!) towards the end of the alley.27

She cried out in despair and crumpled to the ground.28

“No… please, no…”29

The knife-like claw extended from the back of his hand. 30

She sat up and pushed herself towards the brick wall. Her eyes shot from the claw to his cold, cold eyes and back again, and finally settled on his eyes.31

“A – are you going to kill me?” She wailed, more of the salty liquid streaming down her face. A somewhat benevolent smile spread to Domtar’s lips. 32

“Don’t worry, Mara. This is for the good of mankind,”33

“Will it h – hurt?”34

“No. Not at all.” The claw hovered near her temple. 35

She smiled. 36

“I won’t hurt at all?”37

“No.” A wide grin. Gods, he should have known when she smiled.38

“That’s what you think, Domtar.”39

He cringed; hissed in pain as suddenly her hand shot out and nails dug into his arm. His sleeve darkened and something dripped to the ground. 40

“That’s what you think.”41

His eyes widened and his jaw went slack. He doubled over with a low groan – he could feel her inside him – sharp and twisting where she had punched him in the stomach. 42

He choked and viscous, murky liquid trickled down the side of his chin.43

She moved from the ground and stood beside her; a good four inches taller. She released her hold on him and he crumpled, unmoving, to the ground. 44

Her own claw retracted into her arm. She stepped over the still body and made her war out of the alley and towards her current residence, drawing her stained hand across the brick wall. S45

Domtar stirred.46

He closed his eyes to the sharp pain that seared through his belly. He willed himself to heal.47

“Damn,” he moaned, voice slurring past thick, chemical substance.48

“Damn!” Sharper now, silver eyes shining.49

“She won again!”50

Author notes

Five? Five what? Five nothing. I thought it sounded cool. Same with Domtar. I thought it was pretty original until the next time I went to put paper in my printer...
Please write something nice about this story. Then you can bash it all you want.
Oh, God, the paper company's gonna sue me.........
TT~TT

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • Radiance
    May 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was thrilling. At first, I was going for sympathy for the girl... but then she attacked Domtar and I realized that she wasn't as helpless as she'd previously seemed. Nice twist!

    'A low growl escaped Domtar’s throat and hid=s smile widened.' -- "hid=s" should be "his"

    Besides that, I didn't notice other grammatical errors, and your imagery was astounding. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • Leslie Jo
    February 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    This is very good, I hope there will be more. I somewhat reminds me of a Wolverine vs. Lady Deathstrike scenario from the X-MEN (I'm a total X-MEN buff here...lol) I really liked it. It shows what Domtar was thinking, what he wanted and how Mara was something like him, yet different.


  • Poisoned Angel
    November 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Wow, well written, it kept me really interested, though I wish there were more of it to read, but it does end in a good finishing way. It also keeps the reader guessing at the same time as giving enough information in order to understand what is going on, I like it. Well done!
    Rae.


    • roars-in-public
      December 5, 2006
      Edit | Reply

      Seven (ish) days later...

      Thank you for the review!
      This is my sorry attempt at action and I am glad that it's appreciated. Please read and critique more of my stories - I want to become a better writer and asking for other writers' opinions is the best way, I think!