Emily Caroll (Subject to Change)

Emi walked down the main strip of town, pulling her hair back into a rough braid and straightening her glasses. She pulled her suit coat tighter around her, hiding the nice oxford shirt, all except for the collar. Pinstripe pants spoke of class that the college students she knew wouldn't have believed. She reached the corner coffee shop and opened the door.1

Familiar scents and sounds washed over her and she couldn't help but smile at the feeling of being home once more. Each Thursday she escaped the life she had all but trapped herself in at college, unbound her collar and allowed herself to be free for all of two or three hours. She started walking towards the bar, intent on retrieving her first cup of hot tea when she heard something that was not welcome in this sanctuary.2

“Emi?”3

She stopped in her tracks and turned to catch the sight of Chris sitting at a table nearby. A shiver went up her spine, this was not right. Chris smiled and motioned her over to his table, though she could tell as his eyes caught her style of dress and the lack of her spiked collar that he was confused. Hesitating out of pure terror she finally made herself move towards the table, a graceful sprint across the room to loom over one of her only friends from college.4

“What are you doing here, Chris?” she demanded quietly. Despite her classy dress, despite the calm, collected person she had always been and would always be around others, there was a hint of menace in her voice... and a hint of fear.5

Chris hesitated, leaning back in his chair away from the steel in her voice, but drawn to answer by the terror her eyes revealed. “I heard of a book reading today in English class, thought I'd check it out. Apparently they have them every week,” he paused, “but you knew that, didn't you?”6

She flinched away from him slightly, almost as if he had struck her. “Go home, Chris. They're not worth your time.” She turned quickly as if to walk away.7

Chris's arm shot out as he grasped her wrist lightly, not threatening, but just enough to keep her lingering, keep her listening. “They're worth your's.” When she didn't turn to look at him, making sure her face was turned away from him he continued softly. “Don't worry, Emi... I won't tell anyone you come here.”8

With that last promise he let her go. Emi walked quickly without turning back to the bar and ordered her tea. As the waitress prepared the steaming mug she wondered what she would do. Having Chris here would kill any secrecy she hoped to keep of her alternate life style... though she did believe that he wouldn't tell a soul. At least she wasn't reading tonight, though she had brought her material out of habit.9

She glanced over her shoulder at him, and turned away again as she met his gaze. She could sit on the other side of the room, avoid him all night if she had to. But that could cause serious complications in her college life, and she preferred not to make that any more complicated than it already way.10

“Here you are, Emily.”11

Emi turned and took the mug from the woman who smiled at her encouragingly. “Thank you, Rose.” for a moment she forgot all about Chris as her normal routine re-established itself. “Is everything ready for the reading?”12

Rose nodded, “All ready, but Sean hasn't shown yet. Max is starting to worry.”13

“He shouldn't.” she replied, taking a sip of the hot tea, “Sean will show if it's at all physically possible... he wouldn't leave Max hanging.”14

Rose laughed lightly, “I know that, hun. Him and you both are regulars here – Max depends on you... and you wouldn't let him down.”15

“Not if I can help it.” Emi replied and turned back to find her seat, only to catch a glimpse of Chris once more. Again the doubt and fear returned to plague her, and she hesitated before walking back over to his table. Standing uncomfortably to one side of the table she watched him as he watched her.16

Chris broke the silence first, “You're different here than you are at school.”17

Emi tensed, unable to think of a proper response that wouldn't further give her away.18

“But I still won't tell anyone where you are.” Chris promised. There was a long pause of silence during which the two did nothing but stare at each other.19

“Promise?” was all Emi could ask, a quiet pleading... a soft fearful voice that had nothing of the strength usually possessed in her bearing.20

Chris nodded, “Anything for you.”21

There was another pause before she sat down at the table across from him, watching him silently as she sipped her tea. Eventually she got use to the idea... and as much as her ruined secret scared her, she trusted Chris to stay silent. She smiled slightly at him, and he smiled back.22

“I'm sorry, Chris. I'm just... exposed here.” She looked around the coffee shop with open eyes, “This is a world I keep secret to my friends from college.”23

“Why?”24

Emi shook her head, “They wouldn't understand.”25

A pause... “I understand.”26

Emi turned to watch his eyes as he made the statement. She didn't believe him, couldn't believe that he understood what she went through... but at least he tried. The silence stretched on forever, and eventually she could see Chris growing uneasy. He moved slightly before breaking the silence again.27

“So, this is where you go every Thursday?”28

Emi nodded.29

“You should tell Jaz, you know?”30

Emi blinked at him in a surprised fashion, “You wouldn't-”31

“No, I won't tell her. But you should. She's been wondering for ages where it is you disappear to every week.” Chris consoled her.32

She let go of her breath slightly before shaking her head. “Jaz can't even understand my obsession with books... how would she understand my obsession with readings?”33

“You should at least give her a try.”34

Emi sighed, “You can at least relate to my like of words and works... but Jaz?” again she shook her head, “I can't see her ever grasping anything but the social side of life... plus, she's an awful gossip.”35

Chris laughed lightly, helping to life the mood a little and bring a slight smile to Emi's face. “Alright, I'll concede on that point.”36

Emi smiled and noticed that Chris's eyes focused on something behind her as he finished laughing. She turned to look over her shoulder and saw Max walking towards them. He looked like he had been run ragged.37

“Emily...” he called her name as he neared the table, and Chris did a double take behind her back, “Emily... Sean's car broke down on his way back into town, he's not going to make it tonight.”38

“It's alright Max, it can't be helped.” Emi expertly maneuvered the old man the table and set him down in a chair before he noticed.39

He smiled at her as she handed him her cup of hot tea, “Bless you, girl... you always take care of me... but I haven't got a reader for the night.”40

“You always have a reader, Max. You know that.”41

He brightened, “So you have your work with you?”42

Emi patted Max's hand lightly, once again forgetting Chris's presence as he watched this stranger before him. “I always carry a few pieces in. It won't be a full hour, but I can give these people something instead of nothing.”43

“Bless you, Emily, are you ready?”44

“Yes, yes, Max. Give me five minutes to collect my works and I'll be ready to start.”45

Max stood up, still clutching Emi's mug of tea. “I'll introduce you and make sure Rose gets you a new mug.”46

“That would be wonderful, Max, thank you.” She smiled as he turned to rush across the room and prepare for the change in reader. She turned with a small exasperated sigh to stare into Chris's eyes. Shocked, she froze, and then avoided his eyes by bending down and retrieving the bag on the floor by her chair.47

“Why didn't you tell my your name was Emily?”48

Emi turned slightly to regard Chris out of the corner of her eye. “Because it's not.” she stated slowly, pulling her notebook from her bag. “Emily is my birth name, yes... but it's my writing persona. People here call me Emily...” she looked around the coffee shop with fondness in her eyes, an emotion strange and unusual for the normally distant girl Chris knew, though everything about her seemed strange now, “they call me Emily because that is who they know. The confident writer who comes each week to listen and be heard along with the secret society they've created here. Emi is my real name, my worldly name... the life I lead outside of this fantasy room.”49

Chris paused, listening to her words as if he were reading her soul for the first time. He shook his head, “Incredible... do you read often?”50

Emi shuffled through her stack of papers, pulling pages out and reorganizing them in a semblance of order that made sense to her. “Every chance I get...” She looked up and truly smiled for the first time, the glitter in her eyes telling Chris that this was indeed a very different girl than he knew. “This is my night to unchain myself, to take off my collar and live freely for these few moments of secrecy.”51

“Emily, are you ready?” Max called from across the room.52

Emi looked down at Chris from where she stood and whispered, “This is what I live for.” Turning quietly she approached the front of the room, preceded by Max who, smiling, introduced her to the room.