Something to do with Yesterday

It was a day like any other, well....you know...some days are different, if they weren't what would you do?! HUH?! Huuuuuh! That's what I thought mister, you like the way this story is going, I knew it! So just sit back on your bacon flavored chair infused with a creamy goodness of ham! Yes, they are from the same animal, but bother very different tasting indeed! You dare to contradict me? Fine, you tell the story then if you think you're insane enough............................................ WELL I DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD!! Anyways as I was trying to say before you interrupting my grasscake licking froggy good times, is that I am the man!! Oh yeah! Enjoy the stories of Sandy Claws while the bunny of timely undoings eats your lovely eye sockets!! There is this guy called Charles Bechard right? Don't ask me why he's named that!! It's a stupid name I know but...hey...noooooo!! Don't pinch my cheeks, I swear I'll be good!! Eeeeeeeeek!! Arggghh blarrrgggghhhh!!! Okay! Well that narrator is gone, eaten by the monster that Charles sicked on him, I'm the nice narrator that will give you the straight story with no bull cakes! It was a lovely Monday morning, umm wait..Mondays blow chunks of sickly manners!! YARG! Anyways, Charles was getting up for class for college, at the same time his cat, Misfit happened to pounce on some lovely lettuce of truth. It told him the meanings of life, but he ate it anyways. Boy, did he enjoy eating things that moved, well that one time....oh..it's not about that...sorry! Charles finally sprung out of bed like a 3 toed sloth on a hucker Wednesday, in laymen terms, very slowly. So his friend that usually met him to walk to class pounded on the door until Charles made beans spill from the mail slot all over Catherine’s shoes. Yuck! She kicked the door down and it fell onto Charles, well let me tell you, it was no picnic, of course since no sammiches where involved on this endeavor. Anyways, she kept kicking the door while it was on Charles, while he gasped for vengeance of the milky sour puss of yore! She gasped and finally stopped stomping the miak out of our hero Charles, miak you ask?? Authentic Bulgarian Miak!! She grabbed a glass and got some before it evaporated into a steamy mist of misty goodness. Charles sighed and said to her, "Why do you always kick me like that, just because I always drink miak in the mornings!" He was clearly pissed that she once again drank all of his miak, since it is from Bulgaria. 1

"I'm sorry Charles, but it is full of a goaty goodness, I can't help it!" Replied Catherine, she was impossible to talk to, why? Because she was so insane it made everyone hopscotch into madness I tell you!! MADNESS!!!! 2

"Well next time I'm going to barricade my door so you can't kick it down!" 3

"Fine, I guess no more miak for me, and no more toe nail rice cakes plus tax for you!!" Screamed Catherine at the top of lungs, she shattered the glass in the bathroom leaving traces of monkey hair everywhere, total mess. 4

"Ah jeez, how about I just give you a glass of the miak, I mean it's not expensive." Charles sighed as Catherine was obsessed with the fact of drinking spewing miak from Charles's mouth, it was really odd I tell you. She just ignored him and walked on inside to where the cat was licking a pile of messy plastic hair, where he got it, don't ask me I just tell this story! Then Misfit leapt up into the air and triple kicked a dust bunny that was floating around for days, harassing Charles as he slept, trying to dream of a beany natured dream. The bunny died and Misfit had a nice dusty meal for that morning. Finally Charles got up and sat at the table, trying to finish off his breakfast as Catherine prowled around like a skunk in heat. Why a skunk, well I'll tell you another day, but for now you'll just have to use your imagination!! Just then, something interesting happened, Powered Toast Man flew into the room and gave everyone powdered toast!! WOW! What luck, it's the toast jam packed with vitamin F! They all enjoyed some toast while Misfit meowed out the Canada Anthem. It was something else I tell you, but just then something sudden happened! 5

"Oh my!! What was that just now? Charles exclaimed.6

"I don't know, but it took my knickers along with my lunch box!!" Catherine yelled, she was clearly upset at the loss of that lunch box, it was the special edition Angry Beavers one. 7

"Yarg matey, this calls for the job of a pirate matey!!" Charles expertly exuded pirate natured goodness, it was really something else.8

"I don't know man, how about we just use our butts for the future of mankind?" Catherine puzzled, it was an odd puzzle that had odd pieces to it, I doubt you'd be able to put it all together in one sitting!9

"How about we forgot the past 2 minutes and attempt at going to school?" 10

"Sounds like a plan, I have no desires for world domination with the help of a sexual penguin.11

"That has some zing to it, that's the spirit of the cheap diamond!"12

"Yes, let's have some chicken balls and rice, plus tax!" Just then they all sat down to some chicken balls and rice, did the tax come? No way, it was too good to show up!! How dare you tax, how dare youuuuuuuuuuu!!! AHHH!13

After that occurrence, they all got up and danced like chickens until they got dressed and ready to walk to school. It was a nice day outside, noone noticed since everything was happening inside, they both said goodbye to Misfit and walked out the door. They sang Broadway show tunes until they got to the bottom of the apartment complex, it must have been a fad at the time, who knows. Just then it rained donuts on their shiny starred heads, wait, it was just water. So they both rushed to school along the watery path they ran, making sure to avoid the puddles since getting wet meant your doom. Still trying to get to school, the two stopped under a building to catch their breaths from all the running and rain avoiding, obviously it was hard work. Just then, Charles felt excluding from something from yesterday, who exactly knows or cares about what it was, not even I care. They both got ready and dashed towards to school, it was just out of arms reach, which happened to be a lot for them both since they both were equally lazy. 14

"I do believe it is almost time to be at class my dear sir!" Catherine said whilst ringing out her shirt, it was drenched with rain, it was rather icky. 15

"Yes I agree whole heartily, but let's just look for treasure!" Exclaimed Charles, it was a rather intriguing smashing idea.16

"Yes Charles, let's look for treasure!" 17

Just then, they both looked around like deranged monkeys trying to locate some treasure, it was rather interesting, since they got their own theme music and all. They did not locate some treasure sadly, so they got the sad music uploaded right into their heads of brainy meat goodness, and accepted defeat. So they walked to school and made it to the entrance of the building, what happened then....well you'll have to wait till next week! mwhahahaha I'm so EVIL!