NEITHER as long ago, nor as far away as one might imagine, a girl called Laiya managed a very ordinary existance. I was smarter than some, and less bright than others; I was beautiful in the eyes of some, and perhaps less so in other's veiws. In other words, I was someone you would never notice, ordinarily.1
I sighed melodramatically, and watched a bright ball of blue light dance around Eiwa's shoulders. Eiwa was the new kid, and it didn't quite seem fair how quickly she made friends. Her fairy was brilliant, and the luminescence beckoned to all those who came near her.2
I, feeling petulent, studiously ignored Eiwa. It wasn't fair that Eiwa had a fairy, while I didn't. The fairy was the keeper of a person's talents, loves, and skills. Everyone had a fairy--except me.3
I didn't really know much about fairies, either. People didn't like to talk about them, because they were such private things.4
"Laiya," a rather dull orange fairy squeaked at me, its tiny voice having to strain to be heard. I looked up, then moved aside to let the teacher's fairy grade my homework. A "B" to match the shining creature sparkled at her.5
"I would have gotten an "A" if I had a fairy," I muttered sourly, as soon as it was out of earshot. "But I have to rough it out on my own. It's not *fair*."6
Four days later, I had a bit more trouble with my enforced cold shoulder. She was just so nice, and I could not understand why she was so determined to talk to me. Finally, out of exasperation, she cornered me. "Why won't you speak to me," she demanded.7
My resolve melted. I shrugged, and we began to chat. It was with some surprise that I found her to be a very interesting person. I truly enjoyed talking to her, and we became fast friends.8
It was on one such day, while we were chattering animatedly about the teacher's fairy, whose dull coloring could only reflect upon the teacher's own state of mind, when she suddenly burst into tears.9
Her fairy danced around her head, turning a pulsing indigo, and I held her as she sobbed. 10
"What's wrong?" I asked, alarmed.11
This brought on a freshet of new tears. "It's just not fair!" she wailed. "Everyone else has a fairy, but I'm alone!"
Author notes
I wrote this in ENC1102 (college Literature and Composition) while studiously ignoring my dull teacher. Amazing how boring someone with four PhDs can be!
This is one of those infuriating stories that has a whole hidden meaning to it. Anyone care to guess what it is?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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This is good, and I like fariy stories. People do actually become jelous of another person because that person has something that the person wants. You showed how you feel if you get jelous of something. You described it well. One mistake: on paragraph one you spelt views wrong. But then why did first person change into third person?
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wow.
This is a VERY good piece. It is a great contrast to your other.
How ever i do not like the begining. It starts very funny and you almost have to read it twice to catch there needs to be a break. But other than that i wouldnt change a thing.
wonderfully done dear.
-Poem.
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^-^ Thanks, Alaina. You know, your comments make it really hard to keep up with my choice not to mess with things. I never go back and edit; I just move on to the next piece, bearing advice in mind so as to not make the mistake again.
But you're right, the beginning needs work. >.<
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Wonderful. A great hidden meaning to it
. And, I agree with some of the other comments about how the third person switched to first person. But, never-the-less, this was a fine read.
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i thought u said that she has a fairy.....?
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Oh, very neat. Yes, I see the infuriating hidden meaning. People tend to be jealous of others talents and forget about their own. It's true. The only part of this that I didn't like was that you seemed like you were going to write in third person at the beginning of the story, and then you switched to first. I know you wanted to effect of the first line, but it confused me for a moment. Other than that, great work. I enjoyed this very much.
And I can imagine someone with four Ph.Ds could be very boring. Too much time studying, not enough time living. -
Amazing
Completely original and facinating. Oh did I spell that right. And hmm yes PhDs tend to make people very dull to be around. The hidden meaning? How about everyone easily sees everyone elses talents but have such a hard time seeing their own? A feeling I've often found myself with. -
This was beautifully written, and I'm guessing the girl that doesn't have a fairy doesn't realize her attributes?
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Lovely
I really enjoyed this story, the whole "hidden meaning" is quite insightful. I was a little confused at the beginning, when at first you talk about Laiya, and then suddenly she is the one talking. But, could just be me. And while the ending was very good, it seemed like it happened too fast. I would have loved to have read more!
~RS~
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Awesome!!!
it was very ironic and actually very relating to regualr life where we can't see ourselves on a pedestal but yet we can be envisioned as a god by others. I love the the whole thing, it was really good, and the only thing that did confuse me a lil' bit was at the end when you didn't emphasize enough who spoke didn't have a fairy...much love....beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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This started out really good but then I felt as if it ended too abruptly. Maybe you could lengthen the story and add some background to the characters? Detailing could really improve this story and make it more "intriguing". Your title was very eye-catching for it was simple and short. I liked how you had the whole hidden meaning in the story although giving a few more hints would help. Great word choice and flow! Nice start and keep up the good work!
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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it's a good story, but needs another chapter or something, iw ould love to read more.....
my guess to the meanig is that everyone has something beautiful and shining about them but they can't always see it, though they can see it in other people??? -
I like these kind of stories,
so this was excellent.
Keep writing.
Metallica fan (Amy) -
My guess
Ok first off, I like this alot! Second off, I'm going to guess the meaning. I think it is about people never noticing their own "talents, loves, and skills", but always noticing other peoples'. Anyway thats my guess.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Good
You do have the imagination to write such stories. And your explanation for it below leaves me perplexe.
The flow is good... but you could have added more details to it. It would have involved the readers a lot...
Overall, it is really interesting though.
Hope to see more come out of it!!!
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A very well written piece...
I Like it... short, yet very powerful. You managed to create such a strong meaning behind a story which does not contain much detail. Something very few people have the talent to do... Once again very well done, i enjoyed reading it immensely...
Applauds!
Yrs.
Azaradelle.
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interesting to say the least. i found it to be a lil blocky(but that can just be me) and to me, it feels as if you should add a lil bit more detail. i was confused at the ending as to who doesnt have a fairy. i thought it was the narrator who didnt have a fairy.
either way, i liked it and i hope to see more on this
josh -
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*chuckles* You missed it. I told you this was one of those annoying metaphorical short stories. The idea is that the fairy represents all the good things about a person, but lots of people can't see theirs, so they don't know they have one. Thus the dual greif.
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i think it is very good. you got talent
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