Rants of the Hated and Depressed

I hate myself so much, I hadn't thought that it would have been possible. I hate that I am part of this reality, where people are discriminated, and subjected to the horrors of hate, while I stand in the shadows, hiding my tears, and knowing that I can do nothing, because I am only an insignificant child. I hate that while I am here, depressed, there are people who would give anything to be in my shoes, because I have everything I need, and I am free. I ahte that I am powerless to stop people from hurting other people, because they don't agree with them.1

I hate the ignorance and stupidity of others, and how I've just completely given up. I hate that I've let others run my life for me. I hate that I have completely lost the ability to help others, to care for others, to talk and know that others are listening, to feel something besides this numbing pain in my heart, and this weight on my chest that won't go away, try as I might. Can't anyone hear me? Can't anyone see me?2

I hate how I feel a need to impress people, the need to know that someone cares, when I know that no one does. It's almost like I have, thorugh years of mental abuse, lost the essence of my soul. I might as well not even have one.I have lost my innocence and my childhood, and for that I have 'forsaken the god, that has forsaken me'. 3

Is there really even a god? And if so, doesn't he care? Why does he just stand back and do nothing as people tear themselves, and the world, apart? Why does he do nothing as innocent people are torn apart and eaten up by the hate and ignorance of others? Doesn't he care that people who care, the few that are left anyways, are killed, raped, and mutilated, punished for crimes they didn't do? Even those who follow the 'teachings' of this unmerciful god commit horrible, and unspeakable acts against children, in his house, no less. 4

And yet people still do nothing, they watch this happen, and they don't do anything. They just move them to another parish. 'Hey if we move them somewhere else maybe they won't do it again!' Yeah there's logic in that!People are so ignorant! I wish I could just get rid of them all, but that would be called mass murder, and I won't sink down to their level just yet.