Doctor Beselin, a man with wild white hair, glasses, and a lab coat, poured a green liquid into a flask and watched as it mixed with the clear liquid inside. After a minute or two he held the flask up triumphantly.
“This is it David! This my son will make you the stronger one for tonight’s match.” The doctor said to the twenty-three year old who stood amidst the lab equipment. The man who was five foot ten, wore gray sweatpants and a black T-shirt, and had dark brown hair, walked over to him.
“I know it will, Father.” David said to him, grinning maliciously, as he reached out his hand to take the flask.
“To Winning!” David said before taking a full drink of the liquid. The two laughed evilly until something started to happen, something completely opposite of the originally thought outcome. David was becoming weaker and shorter. He didn’t stop shrinking until he was a four foot two boy.
“What have you done?!” David yelled in a little boy’s voice as he dropped the flask and let the little bit left in the flask drip out onto the floor.
“I don’t know. I must have mixed the wrong chemicals together.” The doctor said, looking worriedly at his son. It was at that moment that David’s cat, Edison, walked into the laboratory and started to lick up what little bit there was of the concoction.
“Who let that cat in here?!” the doctor almost screamed as he looked down at the cat. David, who wanted to be strong and manly, started crying because he not only looked like a six year old, he had the mind capacity of a six year old now as well. The doctor didn’t know what to do, his son was a six year old again and his son’s stupid cat was licking its chops to get all the liquid off. The cat suddenly started to change, the effect that it should’ve taken on David, it took on the cat. Edison grew into a leperred-sized cat. David and the doctor watched in horror as Edison’s back legs merged into one.
“David, go run and get the old dog carrier, we’ll see if we can fit him in.” the doctor ordered, not thinking to talk to his twenty-three year, who thought he was six years old, as if he was a six year old.
“It’s Davy and I can’t it’s too heavy.” He said in a small voice, looking up at the doctor with two chocolate colored eyes. Doctor Beselin hadn’t taken his eyes off the cat since it started changing and although it had now stopped, he still hadn’t taken his eyes off it.
“You’ll be fine.” He said, shooing David off. As David walked quietly to the laboratory door the cat let out a lion like roar, making David freeze in terror. Doctor Beselin snapped to and yelled at his son to run out the door.
David ran as fast as his little legs would go, with the doctor right behind him. Doctor Beselin shut and locked the door. Still looking at the door he said, “We’ve got to get rid of him.”
“How?” David asked from behind him. He turned around and looked at his son, still having a hard time that he looked like a six year old, sounded like a six year old, and thought like six year old. He’d done this. He would have to fix it, right after they got rid of that cat, there was no way he was letting David near him, not at this moment.
“We’ll make signs saying that we have a free cat for a good home. We’ll also say that he’s got three legs and he’s not good with children. He apparently wasn’t good with you looking like a six year old.” The doctor said, feeling concern for his son’s health, but at the same time finding it a little funny that he was a six year old.
“What’s so funny?” David demanded to know, looking as he tough as he could, but only making the doctor laugh. Seeing his mad, scientist-looking father laughing at him, made him mad.
“If it’s me, then fix it!” David demanded and then stomped out of the room and into the kitchen.
“David…”
“It’s Davy!” David shouted in his little boy voice from the kitchen, cutting off the doctor, allowing for the smirk that was on his face to grow an inch or so.
“Alright, Davy, I will fix what happened to you as soon as we get rid of that darn cat.” Doctor Beselin said as he walked into the kitchen, seeing David trying to get the peanut butter out of the top cabinet. He grabbed it and handed it over to him.
“Fine, but I’m making them.” David said, dropping the peanut butter and running out to start on the signs and as he ran out the doctor shook his head at the new childlike enthusiasm his son had. The doctor knew the cat had to be adopted soon and he had to turn his son back into a grownup soon, or he’d go crazy. He walked into the living room where his son was, watching as he took crayons, that he hadn’t realized were still in the house, and started making signs for the cat and that’s when he had a sudden realization, his son’s match was tonight, his son wasn’t going to make it. He’d have some explaining to do.
“This is it David! This my son will make you the stronger one for tonight’s match.” The doctor said to the twenty-three year old who stood amidst the lab equipment. The man who was five foot ten, wore gray sweatpants and a black T-shirt, and had dark brown hair, walked over to him.
“I know it will, Father.” David said to him, grinning maliciously, as he reached out his hand to take the flask.
“To Winning!” David said before taking a full drink of the liquid. The two laughed evilly until something started to happen, something completely opposite of the originally thought outcome. David was becoming weaker and shorter. He didn’t stop shrinking until he was a four foot two boy.
“What have you done?!” David yelled in a little boy’s voice as he dropped the flask and let the little bit left in the flask drip out onto the floor.
“I don’t know. I must have mixed the wrong chemicals together.” The doctor said, looking worriedly at his son. It was at that moment that David’s cat, Edison, walked into the laboratory and started to lick up what little bit there was of the concoction.
“Who let that cat in here?!” the doctor almost screamed as he looked down at the cat. David, who wanted to be strong and manly, started crying because he not only looked like a six year old, he had the mind capacity of a six year old now as well. The doctor didn’t know what to do, his son was a six year old again and his son’s stupid cat was licking its chops to get all the liquid off. The cat suddenly started to change, the effect that it should’ve taken on David, it took on the cat. Edison grew into a leperred-sized cat. David and the doctor watched in horror as Edison’s back legs merged into one.
“David, go run and get the old dog carrier, we’ll see if we can fit him in.” the doctor ordered, not thinking to talk to his twenty-three year, who thought he was six years old, as if he was a six year old.
“It’s Davy and I can’t it’s too heavy.” He said in a small voice, looking up at the doctor with two chocolate colored eyes. Doctor Beselin hadn’t taken his eyes off the cat since it started changing and although it had now stopped, he still hadn’t taken his eyes off it.
“You’ll be fine.” He said, shooing David off. As David walked quietly to the laboratory door the cat let out a lion like roar, making David freeze in terror. Doctor Beselin snapped to and yelled at his son to run out the door.
David ran as fast as his little legs would go, with the doctor right behind him. Doctor Beselin shut and locked the door. Still looking at the door he said, “We’ve got to get rid of him.”
“How?” David asked from behind him. He turned around and looked at his son, still having a hard time that he looked like a six year old, sounded like a six year old, and thought like six year old. He’d done this. He would have to fix it, right after they got rid of that cat, there was no way he was letting David near him, not at this moment.
“We’ll make signs saying that we have a free cat for a good home. We’ll also say that he’s got three legs and he’s not good with children. He apparently wasn’t good with you looking like a six year old.” The doctor said, feeling concern for his son’s health, but at the same time finding it a little funny that he was a six year old.
“What’s so funny?” David demanded to know, looking as he tough as he could, but only making the doctor laugh. Seeing his mad, scientist-looking father laughing at him, made him mad.
“If it’s me, then fix it!” David demanded and then stomped out of the room and into the kitchen.
“David…”
“It’s Davy!” David shouted in his little boy voice from the kitchen, cutting off the doctor, allowing for the smirk that was on his face to grow an inch or so.
“Alright, Davy, I will fix what happened to you as soon as we get rid of that darn cat.” Doctor Beselin said as he walked into the kitchen, seeing David trying to get the peanut butter out of the top cabinet. He grabbed it and handed it over to him.
“Fine, but I’m making them.” David said, dropping the peanut butter and running out to start on the signs and as he ran out the doctor shook his head at the new childlike enthusiasm his son had. The doctor knew the cat had to be adopted soon and he had to turn his son back into a grownup soon, or he’d go crazy. He walked into the living room where his son was, watching as he took crayons, that he hadn’t realized were still in the house, and started making signs for the cat and that’s when he had a sudden realization, his son’s match was tonight, his son wasn’t going to make it. He’d have some explaining to do.
Author notes
This story was written for an assignment. Our teacher up a fake add on the board, saying Free to good home, three legged cat, not good with children. Wanted us to write the story behind the add. This is what came about for me.
A contest entry
- Calling your inner child by SageSyren.
1050 points, ended December 6, 2006, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - For Children by silkwing.
170 points, ended January 11, 2007, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Quite Interesting
Hey,
Thank you for entering the contest. This is actually very well written for the assignment given by your teacher. But, I have a feeling that you can push it a bit forward. There is a sense of drama and urgency that I like in this story, and I would like to see you try to play that up. The doctor has painted himself into a corner so to speak and I think your language and conversation in the story could dramatize that even more.
What if David was do frightened by the cat that he couldn't move when his father yelled at him, and started to cry. What if the doctor had to pick him up and carry him out of the room, or what if David wet his pants because he's so afraid of the cat? I like the distracted and whiny nature of David as a six year old, but It would be better if the father were a tad more horrified over the situation.
I kind of get the feeling at the beginning of the story that they are both bad guys, but towards the end it feels like they are good guys. I know the doctor is his father, but there was definitely a mad scientist goal in the beginning that should stay consistent to the end. Like, I want to feel as if this is a mess they got into and almost deserve for trying to cheat in the first place. I also kind of what to know what is "on the line" at the match. It is money? And who will the doctor have to explain to, David's mother?
Also if there were some way you could incorporate the advertisement to also look like a mad scientist's evil plan that would keep the doctor's character consistent. Like it's not only to protect his son, but to torture or get over on someone else.
I like where you took the assignment, but I do want to see you try and work it over taking it even further.
Thanks again,
Amybeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
-
No, not bad. The ending could've been better though.
SIGH! Man, I wish my LA teacher would let me write stories as assignments. -
No this is perfect. I love this assignment. Wish my teachers would have put something like this up when I was in school. Thanks for entering and I'll let you know soon.
~Brooke~



