The Scream

1

They've been following me for weeks now. I don't know who they are - two men in black suits, keeping their distance. Trying to make it seem as though they're just having a good time on the coast. I don't buy it for a minute.2

I see them every morning when I go outside to get the paper, and every night I can feel them, just beyond the light of the street lamp, watching, staring. It's as if they think I know something. Maybe something that has happened or that will happen, I don't know. Maybe they know something.3

Every time I turn, ready to yell "I see you, I know you're there!", they're never there. They disappear like the Cheshire Cat - leaving nothing but the shadow of a cruel grin behind. Sometimes I see their faces out of the corner of my eye, but never clearly enough to get a picture. They're just shadows of men wearing dark suits, everywhere I go yet nowhere to be found.4

I find myself looking over my shoulders every couple minutes, thinking that maybe I'll catch them off guard and they won't have time to disappear. People are starting to notice. They keep asking "What's going on?" and "Are you okay?" when it's so obvious I'm being followed. I tell them about the two men, and they give each other that look - the look where you just know they're thinking you've got a case of teenage paranoia, paranoia not even good enough to be labeled as adult. Baby paranoia.5

I'm not paranoid, though. They're there every minute of every hour of every day, watching, waiting - just waiting for the perfect moment.6

I've started leaving the house armed. It's a secret, though - no one knows but me. I've got them all fooled. They think I'm a worthless little kid with nothing to hide, nothing of possible interest. But they're wrong. I bought throwing stars off the internet last year, the kind real ninjas use. I never thought I'd need them - but I've been practicing.7

You probably think I'm crazy. It's okay, though. Everyone does. They think there's something wrong with me. They think I'm making it up. It's their solution, they don't want to hear the truth. They want their blissful ignorance, to just wish away all the bad things in this world. They think they can deny all the bad men in black suits, and they just won't be there anymore. I'm the only one who accepts the truth, the only one who is willing to change it. I'm the only one who can change the world.8

I've tried just ignoring the men the way everyone else does, but the way they disappear before I can get a good look at them is driving me crazy. Behind trees, mailboxes, people - normal things, things that are ordinary. They don't deserve to hide behind the ordinary, don't deserve to stay behind their little facade of normalcy. Their purpose is to disrupt the ordinary, I just know it. They're waiting for me to crack, to do something stupid and crazy that will send me off with men in white coats. I'll prove them wrong. The only thing I plan on doing is getting rid of them.9

I have it all planned out: I'll throw them off my trail, and they won't know how to find me. While they're searching for me, I'll see them - a couple stars to the back, and then it's all over. It has to be the back, see, because if it's the front they'll see me. Just a couple stars and this nightmare will end.10

Today's the day. I left the house by way of the back door, running through my neighbor's yards and everything. It's as if I'm a secret agent, saving the world on some mission of dire importance. I haven't felt them yet - my plan is working. I'll head to the pier by back way - they'll be at the pier. It's my favorite place. The sun shining on the water, kids laughing, the smell of saltwater and cotton candy drifting through the air... I go there every day. That's where they'll be looking for me.11

I've just crawled through the hole in the barbed wire fence behind the arcade games, and finally, I'm here. Here comes the hard part - seeing them before they see me. I pause, breathing in the sweet scent, exhilarated by the thought of defeating them, once and for all. I creep through the masses of people, trying desperately to blend in. I gasp suddenly as one of them enters my view. I've never seen one alone before; they must have split up looking for me.12

He's at the very end of the pier, staring into the ocean. I stop for a moment, thrown off, because it's something I've done so many times before. Then I realize that it's all just a clever ruse, probably meant to draw me to him. As if I could ever fall for such childish tricks. Still, their obviously thorough knowledge of my life and habits haunts me. It's sickening. They must be stopped.13

It's almost over. I just have to make it down the pier without him turning around, and I'll be rid of them forever. I have to be careful, though. The other one may be expecting this. He may be watching.14

There's an enormous group of school-children to my left - laughing and playing, so excited to be free from the ball-and-chain of school. I join them, pretending to be one of them - one of those loud, obnoxious, evil little devils - until I get to the spot.15

The perfect place, angle, location, everything. It's all in this moment. Everything I've planned for so long lies in this moment. Stealthily I slip my hand into my pocket, arming myself with three five-pointed stars that gleam in the sunlight as I bring them out. In this moment, everything will change. One, two, three... I count down to my freedom. I lift my arm, aim, and the stars slip through my hand, their path perfect and direct. They fly through the air as if they're in slow motion while my heart beats a funeral march. I watch anxiously as they spiral towards him. Suddenly, the man jerks, stumbles, turns... and falls face down on the pavement. Bulls eye.16

People are running to him, myself one of them. Finally I'll see the face of the man who was my torturer. My heart pulses in my throat in anticipation. I will finally be vindicated, after all this time. I push through the crowd of sweaty, smelly, disgusting people just as they are turning him over.17

My body locks as I see the face. I try to breathe but the air has escaped from my lungs. This can't be right. This can't be right. My heart has stopped beating and I can't move. A man I've known since birth, trusted with my life time and time again? He was one of the men? People around me fade from view, and all I can see is him, lying dead on the concrete. His blood is seeping out and staining the ground beneath his lifeless form. I'm screaming, fully aware of my surrounding but somehow disconnected, screaming without a sound, without a voice, not even a whisper. Screaming, but no one can hear me.18

No one can hear me except them. I feel them there, and it's not just two this time. Laughing their cruel, hard laughs, laughing at me. Laughing at my naivety, how I fell so gullibly for their plan. They're everywhere. Shadow faces in the water, in the air, poisoning everything I thought I knew, saturating my existence. I'm frozen in this moment, forever. This horrible laughing, a dull roar, repeats in my ears like a broken record, their shadowed faces burning my eyes. Forever is in this moment, and I know that's how long they'll stay, eluding capture, tormenting my mind. Forever. And forever I'll scream with no sound.19

~~~~~~~20

Inspired by "The Scream" by Edvard Munch.21