Blank

June sat at her computer and turned it on... Perhaps she could write?1

She had tried listening to music, tried reading, doing homework... she had even considered driving out to see a very good friend of her's a half an hour away. But she didn't want too... she didn't want to do anything.2

Her computer booted up and sat watching her, a blank screen waiting for a password. Her hands rested on the keyboard, but she couldn't seem to get them to move. She sighed deeply and removed her hands, leaning back in her chair.3

She could imagine her mother's voice in her head when she had fallen into these apathetic moods before... her mother never seemed to help much.4

"Do you want to write?"5

"Not really..."6

"What about finishing that book you started?"7

June shook her head.8

Her mother paused, "What about listening to records in the living room?"9

She shrugged, "Don't want to..."10

"Are you sure you don't want to help with dinner?"11

"yeah."12

Another pause, "Are you going to eat tonight?"13

June shrugged and turned away, "I'm just going to lay here for a while and figure out what I want to do."14

Her mother would always nod and leave, closing the door silently behind her. Maybe that's what she needed now - the world to leave her alone and shut the door on her?15

With sluggish movements she crawled into bed... maybe she'd use the old methods and think about it for a while? She knew, like every time before, she would end up falling asleep and eventually shaking the apathy off - but she found herself not wanting to sleep, or live, or breathe...16

Sometimes she wished that she just didn't exist.17