from Siddharthas' Daughter

Humanity is dead.1

All we have left behind is war,faminie,disease,hatred-this is our everlasting footprint. Our art,poetry, love has been exstigushed as the rivers, lakes, oceans and the animals who inhabit them. The land raped and pillaged-divided and scared by the arrogance of men. Though in a casual refuse to see and take responsibilitie for actions- humanity as a whole  has neglected the very essence that it sprung from.2

It was a sweltering hot day. One of the hottest ever on record. under the tree, that rested in the shadows and shade of the house. There sat Kay deep in meditation, and conteplative thought. She sat in a mind full of spell bounded thoughts of the beauties and riches that laid around her. The flowers that wildly grew, the butterflys that flew freely, the rabbits that hopped around with real cares. She fell for the beauty of nature, and it's open riches. It was bound to nothing, except for the joyus reason to live.3

With a disruptive below came a voice from the house "Kay time for diiner!" yelled her father "Where is that girl?"4

"Damn!" sayas Kay "Why can't a girl be free?" she pulls her self up, kisses the tree and the ground. Walks slowly to the house.5

What did you think? Please comment!

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Comments

  • rozz669
    March 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    ya i know theres mistakes- i always write without stopping to worry about the technical errors-i'll worry about that later, thank you reading though

  • SweetSurrender
    March 17, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Just a few errors:

    and pillaged-divided and scared - did you mean 'scarred?'
    butterflys - should be butterflies
    responsibilitie - responsibility
    conteplative - contemplative
    it's - its
    joyus - joyous
    With a disruptive below - I think you meant 'bellow'
    diiner - dinner
    Walks slowly to the house. - That's a fragment. You might want to fix that.

    Okay well there are a few other things, such as sentence structure and grammar, but I'll let you figure that out on your own.

    Not a bad story going here, keep writing!

    Peace

    ~SS~





    Edited on Mar 17, 3:51 p.m. because ''.