My name is Kylie Williams.
I am 15 years old.
I go to Westland High School.
I am a sophmore.
I am different.
I've been abused since the age of 4.
My dad is a very angry drunk.
He drinks a lot too.
My mom, well pretends like nothing happens.
I've been in the hospital 5 times already.
When I was 5, dad pushes me down, broke my wrist.
When I was 7, dad hit me in the face, broke my nose.
When I was 10, dad threw me against the wall, 11 stitches to the head.
When I was 12, took pills, bad seizures and shit.
When I was 13. slit my wrists, deep wounds that wouldn't stop bleeding.
My mom used the usual excuse.
"She fell"
But that excuse wouldn't cover the suicide attempts.
After I slit my wriststo school forced me to talk to a counsler.
Mrs. White.
She was an annoying bitch.
I had to see her 3 days a week.
Usually during lunch.
She finally said I didn't have to come and see her when I turned 15.
I think she just gave up on me.
I refused to tell her what went on at home.
My mom hated my going to a counsler.
She was afraid someone was gonna find out about our home life.
Going to the counsler just gave my dad another reason to beat me.
He said I was selfish for trying to kill myself.
I tried to kill myself because of him.
But I'll get off the subject.
Onto a new one.
School.
I have fairly good grades.
I try not to let what goes on at home affect my grades.
I have "school" friends.
Which means they have no idea how bad it is at home.
No one at my school does.
I use make-up the cover the bruises.
But some are just to bad to cover.
Those, I make excuses for.
Everyone believes me.
Which is good.
Different subject again.
More.
About my family.
My dad's father use to beat my dad's sister.
This is why he beats me.
He hates daughters.
They are a disgrace to the family.
His dad taught him that.
I have an older brother.
He is like my mom.
Pretends like everything is ok.
His name is Robby.
Robby is 17 years old.
He wants to be just like dad.
Its not gonna happen though.
When dad threw me against the wall, Robby was there.
I saw his eyes.
His expression.
I remember them so clearly.
He is not gonna be like dad at all.
Which means he's gonna fail dad.
Something I do everday.
My mom, use to get beat too.
Her dad beat her.
My family is so fucked up.
I know it is.
My dad use to beat her when I was real little too.
Everytime I cryed, he'd blame it on my mom.
I'm surprised he hasn't killed her yet.
You might think my storu is sad, horrible, dreadful and all that shit.
Yeah, it is.
But don't pity me.
I hate pity.
I'm still living.
This story is going somewhere.
Don't worry.
I'm gonna start the real story soon.
My life is hard.
But I live through it everyday.
Would I trade for a different life?
Hmm....would I?
No.
Never.
Why?
I'll explain that to you later on in the story.
Author notes
I need help on the title for this.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Well, it's a good start. You've got your storyline sorted out. But I think it needs a lot more detail. Expanding more on why she's abused and why her dad drinks so much. You know, that sorta stuff. Good luck!
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I like this story it's intresting. I would love to read more. You should show some of the characters feelings though not like huge feelings but at least say something like 'i don't really like my dad' you know it's not that deep but it's proving that your main character is alive.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.
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You've got a good start for this, but there are quite a few errors in spelling and grammar. Plus, I suggest you add a little more characterization for the narrator... she sounds so... blank and indifferent. That's not how a lot of abused children are... many of them feel too deeply, I do like this though hun! The history you've given on the family is incredibly well written... but you just need to put a little more time into it. I'll help you if you need it because I'm always here for ANYTHING. Great work though!
s and 
s
~Kami
♠
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