Alendra looked up from her stack of papers, gazing out across the large stone room she occupied. It wasn't as if she didn't enjoy the enclosed space, or the work that kept her there... perhaps it was more the fact that she enjoyed it too much. She knew there was so many more stories out there – but it wasn't her place to find them, just organize those she had. Alae assumed that when she finished organizing the library, Hell would find a more useful job for her to do somewhere else. She enjoyed the library, though, found it's papers and scrolls relaxing like nothing else in life had ever been.1
"Abouran!"2
Alae turned about quickly at the sound of her last name... only Belladonis, the black dragon of the fifth gate called her that. She didn't mind him that much as a soul, it's just that his fiery breath gave way to quite a few books and scrolls (those she hadn't collected from Hell for the library already) going missing. She strode to the front of the library and opened the large door. Outside sat Belladonis, magnificent as the fire gleamed off his perfectly polished scales. Before the door sat a stack of large books.3
"Yes, Belladonis?"4
"These books are to be sorted into your collection. The rest of the assembly of histories was lost..." the dragon coughed slightly.5
Alae blinked and then grew angry, "Belladonis... you didn't loose your temper with books around, did you? You know how much I hate to see the depletion of this library."6
"Well..."7
"I'll want a record of those books lost, you know. And you had better get it for me..." Alae warned, pointing her finger at the large beast, "Now."8
She watched Belladonis sulk off and down the bank, cloaked in Hell's fire. She glanced at the books before her, though they seemed to be in flame, it was only Hell's fire. It didn't really burn, just gave off light. It did not consume flesh or paper at all... all it consumed was one's will. By now, Alae had become so use to it's touch that it was nothing but an annoying itch to her now. So she piled the books into her hands as best she could and returned to her duty.9
At the rate the histories and books of Hell were disappearing, there would be no library left for her to work on. Then she would be reassigned, and that just wouldn't do. Perhaps if she implied that the manuscripts had to be replaced, Belladonis would put in a good word for her. If she couldn't be a librarian of Hell... she would be just as happy working as Hell's scribe.10
A contest entry
- Faerytales by February Moon.
350 points, ended December 5, 2006, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I liked this. Its just a really nice story and the idea of a dragon accidently burning down a library with its fire breath is cute. I'm curious though where she is when Belladonis destroys the books? Is the stone room she's in an office or something?
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UPDATED
Okay, I think I fixed the miscommunication in the beginning of the story... I could be completely wrong, of course. But that's really the best I can do currently with my time schedule.
Thanks for being patient and giving me the advice you did!
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DarkSun -
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I think that you fixed it up wonderfully. It is much better now. Good luck in my contest.
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hey great job in this! its a really imaginative idea actually and i seriously cant wait to read more! so ya, great job, good luck and keep writing.
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Stupendous
This is an extremely creative story. I really enjoyed it. One problem is that there seems to be some contradiction. At the beginning you write:
"It wasn't as if she didn't enjoy the enclosed space, or the work that kept her there... it was that she knew there was so much more out there."
Then, you don't expand on that further.Then, around the end you write:
"Then she would be reassigned, and that just wouldn't do. Perhaps if she implied that the manuscripts had to be replaced, Belladonis would put in a good word for her. If she couldn't be a librarian of Hell... she would be just as happy working as Hell's scribe."
To me, these seem to go against each other, at the beginning she is wanting to see the world, well, underworld and at the end she is perfectly content. Yet it shows no character change during the story, it just flips.
That and few sentences would do well from some rewording but other than that this story is great. It was written wonderfully and has a beautiful flare to it. Best of luck in my contest.beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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What I was actually trying to allude to was her wanting to write down what was happening - become a historian of sorts because she knows there are more stories out there that she doesn't have with her... I suppose I should change that a bit to make it somewhat clearer.
We are still permitted to change the story until the deadline, yes? -
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Yes, of course.
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