Erica was an average girl... average weight, average height, average beauty, and average intelligence. She lived an average life with an average family, that was until Lynn was born.1
Erica Jones was eight when her younger sister was born. Her mother had remarried after three years of divorce, and though no one would replace Erica's real father, her step-father was fair and kind and she did look up to him as a parent. Her mother was ecstatic when the news came, she had always wanted a second child. Her mother's happiness was infectious and soon Erica herself looked forward to the arrival of her younger sibling. But neither of them were prepared for what they got.2
Lynn was born prematurely, a breach birth that had left the umbilical chord wrapped around her neck. She had begun breathing shortly after being delivered, but technically she had been still-born. Erica's mother saw her life as a miracle, a second chance. Truth be told, Lynn was the most talented young soul anyone around had seen. She began speaking late, but when she began speaking she spoke in sentences - using words that college kids often didn't know the meaning of.3
A child prodigy... this nearly dead child, permanently weak from her premature and difficult birth was a genius as the family had never seen. She began reading at a very early age - and amazingly she was able to retain the information she acquired perfectly though any amount of time. By the time a normal child was allowed to enroll in first grade, Lynn had already begun her elementary education. She was home schooled for most of her early life, and she excelled in whatever was placed in front of her.4
Erica, though amazed at her younger sister's ability was furious that it took so much attention away from her. She started hanging out with the wrong crowd trying to bring attention back to her. She even found herself a boyfriend trying to create some reaction in her parents - but they only had eyes for Lynn. Erica tried everything short of getting pregnant, but nothing worked. And by the time she had learned that dealing with Lynn was the only way to get her parent's approval, it was already too late.5
Near the end of Erica's last year of high school a fire had taken the lives of her and Lynn's parents. No one dared examine what had started the fire – but many believed that Lynn's forgetfulness had become the demise of the outwardly happy family. At that point people stopped dealing with the sisters, preferring to keep to their own business. And though it was never proven, Erica found it difficult not to blame her younger sister for their loss.6
Even with her suspicions Erica found herself having to look past the hate she bore for her younger sister and take her in. That's when the problems all began. She thought for sure that Lynn couldn't make her life any harder: taking all the attention, the care, and then her parents... that was until her mind went. After the fire, Lynn stopped showing signs of genius. She became downright normal, almost, in a mentally traumatized way: quiet, distant, distracted. She was eventually diagnosed with selective memory loss, a diagnosis that based it's finding in the child's wish to forget the fire.7
Lynn began to forget the simplest things in life. Erica found it necessary to hire babysitters to keep an eye on her younger sister while she worked and went to school. When she finished college, Lynn was no better. She had all the attention in the world - sitting for hours and reading book after book. She would read and remember and forget what she had read five minutes later.8
The doctors said it skipped her short term memory and was placed directly into her long term memory, something she had done since a very small child. A genius, they called her, a genius with the inability to use what she knew so well. Occasionally, when time called for it, Lynn was able to use what she knew to make or fix something. Often times Lynn could help Erica with her homework after devouring her text books over the weekend. But apart from those few moments of ability, Lynn was helpless... and therefore useless.9
Erica lived with the problem of her younger sister for years. Eventually transferring colleges in order to follow her fiancée when he went to grad school. The week before she had finally allowed herself to institutionalize Lynn in a nearby mental hospital. They told her they would keep her updated on her sister's progress, and though she gave them a number and an address, it was just formality to her. She didn't care any more what happened to Lynn. She had taken away her life, sucked all she had out since their parents had died. She had to get away - and if that meant leaving her with someone else, so be it.10
She ignored all the letters from the hospital for the next year. They were all the same: "Lynn is doing fine. Her memory is improving and she continues to show progress in her learning capabilities." Erica just didn't care anymore. So when a letter came nearly a year later, she did what she always did... she threw it in the trash without looking at it. What she didn't realize was that it didn't have the same words on it... this one was different.11
"Dear Erica...12
Your sister, Lynn, has been released from our care due to her phenomenal improvement over the year. We hope that you will find her progress satisfactory and wish you two the best of life."13
Author notes
Contest: child prodigy, sibling argument
This was acutally the basis for one of my roleplay characters not to long ago. I never managed to play her - though I think I might take the time to invent her character a bit more (the child prodigy) and start writing stories about her.
A contest entry
- Short Story Contest -- lots of options! by Stephanie44.
100 points, ended October 29, 2006, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Wow, that is... inconquerable. Not a bad theme to remember. You have a strong sense of character focus. You keep to your preiterated idea, and that is good when correctly used. This story is well written, though it is a little rough around the random. ^_^ Engage in some other details that become important when they come, keep at it, and keep writing
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UPDATE
I took a lot of the comments to thought, and I think you're right. I needed to elaborate on the death of her parents and the way they died. Also the changes. It's still a little crude - a short story that's nowhere near finished, but I don't have the time to finish it completely up to my standards now... it might have to wait until after the contest is over.
Thank you so much, and you too, Stephanie, for your help!
@--'-------
DarkSun
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This line here: seems a little abrupt, the sudden and unembellished method of this discovery tends to make this story sound a bit more like a report and doesn't give a great deal of credit to the trauma associated with such a thing. Might stretch it out a bit, describe circumstances, shuffle through the emotions of either girl a bit
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Wow, this is terrifically creative and very intriguing! What I like about it is that it is quite believable and there are so many issues in it that readers can relate to -- jealousy/ sibling rivalry, and the ironic tragedy of Lynn losing her special abilities.
My suggestions would be that the parents' death comes up very suddenly -- that is a major event; why not spend a little more time describing how it happens?
Good job and thanks for entering.


