Cousin Chris

(Susan and Charlene enter UR. Susan is a young pretty girl with a thin frame and makeup dressed in fashionable clothes. Charlene is slightly heavyset with nappy hair. She is dressed in baggy, unflattering clothes and wears no makeup. Both cross DC)1

Susan: Charlene, I wish you would do something with your hair. It could be so pretty.2

Charlene: What’s the point? It’s not like I’m looking for a boyfriend. They’re all worthless anyways.3

Susan: Are you still bitter about that? God Char, it’s been like six months.4

Charlene: But she was like a sister to me.5

Susan: And now she’s not. He was scum, she was scummier, and you got cheated on. It’s the way life is6

Charlene: Susan you know I don’t like to-7

Susan: Fine. Then we won’t, but you should still make yourself look nice just in case8

Charlene: In case of what? A boy? Susan…9

Susan: I’m just saying. You know my cousin is coming to town next week. He’s completely your type10

Charlene: Cheating lying scum?11

Susan: Whatever. Come on, lets get out of here.12

(Susan and Charlene exit UR, lights fade out. When lights come back up, Mother and Susan are DL. Mother is homely in appearance, wearing a skirt and blouse. As she talks she cleans. Susan is dressed casually)13

Mother: Now Susan, make sure Chris feels welcome14

Susan: (sarcastic) No Mom. I thought I would shun my favorite cousin…15

Mother: Now Sue…16

(Chris enters UR. He is a tall, fairly muscular boy with a nice smile. He carries a large suitcase, which he drops as he enters. He crosses to Mother and Susan, hugging each in turn)17

Chris: Aunt Darlene! How have you been? You look fantastic. Oh, and Sue bear, you haven’t changed a bit! Still fighting off the boys with a stick?18

Susan: It’s great to see you. And you know not to call me Sue bear anymore!19

Chris: I’ll try to stop. When is dinner?20

Mother: Any minute now. I’ll go check on it. (EXIT UC)21

Chris: So how are things here?22

Susan: Decent. Can’t say anything has really—23

Charlene: (ENTERING UR) Hey Sue? Forgot my—(sees Susan and Chris) Oh!24

Um…hi?25

Chris: Hey. I’m Chris, Sue bear’s cousin. You must be…Charlotte?26

Charlene: It’s Charlene. Nice to meet you.27

Susan: Chris, I told you not to call me that!28

Chris: It slipped? 29

Mother: (from offstage) Susan, I need some help with the roast. Can you come here?30

Susan: Sure Mom! (EXIT UC)31

Chris: So…uh…yeah.32

Charlene: Yeah….33

Chris: Um…I know we just met, but you seem really nice and we should 34

get to know each other if you want. If you don’t, that’s cool, but from what Sue bear said you like a lot of the same movies and stuff as me and….uh….um…..yeah.35

Charlene: Are you….36

Chris: Not if you don’t want me to. I know I’m a bit of a dork and I’m not all that cute and I have this really bad habit of just going on and on when I should really stop and ask the person I’m talking to how they feel but I swear I can’t help it because I get really nervous when I’m around pretty—37

Charlene: (putting a finger over his lips) Meet you here at eight. Mountain Zombies with No Skin is playing at the mall, and if you like the same movies as me, you’ll think it’s the best.38

Chris: Really?39

Charlene: Sure. Now have you seen a binder lying around here?40

Chris: (picking it up from the couch) If you’re (reading) I heart Johnny 41

Depp, then yes.42

Charlene: Yeah….that’s me…(taking it from him) It was so nice meeting you. Don’t forget. Eight sharp, and I’m never fashionably late. (EXIT UR)43

Chris: Can’t wait. (cell phone rings and he pulls it out to answer it) Hello? Hey dude... I’m pretty good... Yeah. I found one… Not very pretty, but she’ll do…Yeah… Well you know how it is. Gotta get it somehow…Naw she’ll put out right away.…and if she doesn’t? I have my ways…. Sure…. Yeah….. Later. (hangs up)44

Susan: (off stage) Did you say something?45

Chris: No, just talking on the phone.46

(Lights fade out and come back on to show Chris and Charlene entering UR. Chris is dressed in the same thing from before, but Charlene is wearing a skirt and nice top. Her hair is brushed out and put in a bun and her makeup done)47

Charlene: And when he jumped out and his flesh was all oozy!! It was so cool!48

Chris: Uh…yeah…that part was…nice…49

Charlene: Well I had a great time tonight. Did you?50

Chris: It was amazing. To be honest, I was paying more attention to you than the movie.51

Charlene: Chris! Stop! You’ll make me blush!52

Chris: You’re hot when you blush. You know, Susan is asleep and her parents are gone.53

Charlene: It would be nice to talk for a while…54

Chris: (sitting on couch and patting next to him) Come into my office.55

Charlene: (sitting next to him) You know, I haven't been on a date in a long time. It was really nice to get out again.56

Chris: It was nice taking you (he pauses, then leans forward to kiss Charlene. They kiss for a moment and Chris begins to take off her top)57

Charlene: (tearing away) What in the hell do you think you’re doing?58

Chris: What’s wrong? I thought you were enjoying our date.59

Charlene: I was, but I’m not ready to go that far with a boy I hardly know! I have morals!60

Chris: Come on. It’s not a big deal.61

Charlene: No. 62

Chris: I don’t like it when somebody tells me no.63

Charlene: Fine. I decline your invitation, sir. Didn’t say “no”64

Chris: It wasn’t an invitation. It was a request.65

Charlene: Chris, I said no!66

Chris: (getting angry) Ok. So I sit through that lame excuse for a movie and I don’t get anything? No way. I earned my prize and I’m getting it whether you like it or not67

Charlene: What do you take me for? I’m nobody’s prize. Goodnight Chris. (makes to leave, but Chris grabs her arm, hard) Stop! You’re hurting me!68

Chris: No. You’re going to do what I say from now on. Got it? Now be a good girl. This will be fun. I promise.69

(Lights fade out and come back on with Chris buttoning his top and Charlene crying at the other end of the sofa.)70

Chris: Still wasn’t worth the movie. I’m going to go find some real fun in this town. Later loser. (chuckles and exits UR)71

Charlene: (sobs)72

Susan: (enters UL) Chris, are you crying? Is everything OK? (sees Charlene) Oh my gosh Charlene, what happened? Where’s Chris? What’s going on?73

Charlene: He…he…I didn’t want to…I swear I didn’t…He made me…(sobbing)74

Susan: Oh my god! Where is he?75

Charlene: …left…He made me…I’m sorry…76

Susan: It’s OK honey. I’m here. He’s gone now. I’m going to call the police77

Charlene: I swear I didn’t mean to!78

Susan: I know. I know. Go into my room. Everything is going to be OK. I swear.79

(Susan helps Charlene exit UL and gets out her phone as Chris enters UR)80

Chris: Almost forgot my mo-Susan? What are you doing up?81

Susan: What did you do to Charlene?82

Chris: Nothing. Why?83

Susan: What did you do to her?84

Chris: Nothing she wasn’t asking for.85

Susan: Bull. I’m calling the police. How dare you do that to her!?!86

Chris: You’re not calling anybody. (He smacks Susan across the face) I’ve been pulling this scam since junior high, and there’s no way my puny little cousin is going to ruin it all for me. 87

Susan: You….you…you…88

Chris: Say it. See what happens89

Susan: Rapist! Devil! Criminal!90

Chris: (smacking her again) She was begging for it, you know. If you had seen her, nearly on her knees crying for it. I did her a favor!91

Susan: (runs at him trying to hurt him) NO! Not Charlene! Not Charlene!92

Chris: (throws Susan to the ground) Shut up you little wench! You’re not going to tell a soul and neither is your fat little friend, got it?93

Susan: (looking down in shame) yes94

Chris: (grabbing some money off of the table) Now I’m going to go have some fun, and if I hear anything at all about you snitching I’ll make sure you never talk again. (exits UR)95

Charlene: (enters UL) Is he gone? Oh my god Susan! You’re hurt!96

Susan: I’m sorry. I tried to stop him…I tried…97

Charlene: Susan, I’m so sorry….I’m so sorry…98

(fade to black)99