A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away there was a princess named Robin Hood. Despite being very ugly, she was very nice, always making poisons to stick in the king’s breakfast, so that they could kill the royal taster.
One day a poison didn’t work, so the king got very angry with her and he locked her in a room full of gold. He also gave her a spinning wheel and said, “I’ll let you go if you can spin all this gold into straw. I’ll give you one day.” Robin Hood panicked. What was she to do?
Just then, a fairy came along. His name was Stinkerbelle and he lived in the local rubbish dump. Seeing Robin Hood in her state of depredation, he asked her what the matter was.
She said, “The king said that I have to spin all this gold into straw in one day.”
Stinkerbelle said, “I’ll do it for you if you can guess my name". Robin said, “Uh, is it Harry?”
“No, so shut up and let me work. You can guess it in the morning.” So Robin did.
The next day Stinkerbelle went to Robin Hood and said, “What’s my name?”
“Is it Fred?” asked Robin.
“No” said Stinky.
“Is it George?”
“No, and you’ve only got one guess left!” cried Stinkerbelle. Robin Hood, acting very childishly, threw a tantrum.
“I don’t like you! You’re stinky!” This just happened to be Stinkerbelle’s nickname.
“Correct!” he shouted. Robin Hood felt very pleased with herself. Stinkerbelle was just packing up his tools for turning gold into straw when it hit him.
“It’s against fairy law for a human to know a fairy’s name! You must die!” Then he pulled out a high-powered semi-automatic E-11 assault rifle, intending to blow her to kingdom come. However, a chair flew through the window at that moment, and Stinkerbelle blasted it to kingdom come instead.
The chair was quickly followed by Leolus, the Legendary Dragon Lord, who was shot as well. All this gave Robin Hood enough time to grab a bottle of acid from the poison bag she always kept with her and to throw it at Stinkerbelle.
The bottle smashed over the end of Stinker’s gun, spraying Stinkerbelle and his gun with acid. Stinkerbelle, being a fairy, was unaffected. His high-powered semi-automatic E-11 assault rifle, not being a fairy, was affected, and was swiftly transformed into a smoking pile of oily goo.
Stinkerbelle was a bit put off, but only for a moment. Then he blasted down the door of the room that they were in, flew out into the next room, grabbed the king’s best magic sword, and started chasing Robin Hood around the room. Robin Hood grabbed the king’s second-best magic shield and started parrying the hits that Stinker aimed at her. However, since the sword was one of the best, and the shield was only one of the second-best, the sword started to break through the shield. Robin Hood needed a plan, and fast!
Suddenly something moved at the corner of the room. Robin and Stinkerbelle both turned to look. Standing there was Leolus, legendary Dragon Soldier, with a very powerful Dragon standing behind him! But how was possible, when he had been blown to kingdom come? Simple. Being a Legendary Dragon Soldier, he just blew his Dragon whistle, called his mightiest Dragon to him, and got it to carry him back from kingdom come to where he got sent there from. It only took one snap of the mighty Dragon’s teeth to dispose of Stinkerbelle.
Leolus walked up to Robin Hood, and went down on one knee. Then he grabbed a golf club from goodness knows where and clobbered the princess over the head. Not surprisingly, she promptly passed out. Leolus smiled.
Now he could go and get the reward money promised to him by the dark Dragon lord. But that’s another story.
A contest entry
- Anything Goes by KitKatBar.
350 points, ended February 11, 2007, 44 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Flash Fantasy! by Bitter Irony.
250 points, ended November 24, 2007, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
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Errr, what can I say... I didn't find any spelling or grammar errors.
I thought it was leading up to a funny punchline sentence at the end, which it could easily have with the well known characters, but what the heck.
It reminds of what it's like to drink a pan-galactic gargle blaster. -
Yep, that was pretty different. :-) A little random for my taste; it would have been nice to see an element or two carried out through the entire story. But nice humor nevertheless.
Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck!
~Bitter Irony -
urm that was queit.... different... HA HA HA.. ad me laughing cause to me it made no sense.. i did like the darkness you portraid in small doses though rofl
congrats xoxox Bliar
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Just my type of story. If you minus my morbid side, that is. It's absolutely insane. I've written wierd stories under a different name here. Hehe. I like it.
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wow... just.. wow.. lol. diffenently deserved the title lol. but as odd as it was i enjoyed reading it. SW is telling me to relate my emtional responce, so here it is: WTF?!! HAHAHAHAHAHA this is great! but as the last person before me said, paragraphs wouldve been helpful. good luck on my contest
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, characters: 3.
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Great, Funny !!!
Yeah the paragraghs thing would help. .....but you know that. Really good work, and great character names. I like the twist on Tinkerbell. Keep on writing!!
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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i like it,
but u might want to consider putting it into paragraphs to be able to read easier.
but other than that i thought it was really goog
great job!
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Wait a second... lol nice Stinkerbelle lol Very intresting writing style I like it it's diffrent and diffrent's always good!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Hilarious.
I love love LOVE your writing style amazing use of twisted fairy-tale. your a great writer, Im very glad we became friends, now I can read more of your work. =]
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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nice but you should proably break in into paragraphs...
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