Purple lips, unmoving1
delicately frosted lashes.2
Eyes open,3
cloaked with nothingness. 4
His heart, defeated 5
by the mountain’s fury. 6
The glacial peaks7
form his icy sepulcher.8
Strange mountaineer,9
Are you my missing brother?10
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I don't like the thought of dying.. then again, your descriptions here just are too beautiful... I think you've described a beautiful death here. Well done!
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Omg.. I totally understood this.. frosbite.. or dying in a snowy place. You used sepulcher nicely... really, and you made even death sound beautiful. I love how you described the heart as defeated, and how you chose to SHOW not tell the tale throughout the poem
Great work THanks for sharing this with us ^_^
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Fabulous
Although this is short I thoroughly enjoyed this. I love the line:
"Form his icy sepulcher."
Very good use of language there.
Completely fantastic.
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Oh I like this! Being a digger into the past, it strikes me rather deeply. [salvage archeologist]
I think I'll print it and hang it on the next site I'm digging in. Let others read your work!!
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At last the Abomiable Snow Man found.
Yes, he was your brother. The actually missing link. Those purple lips may indicate a propensity for cross dressing in the wild.
He had worked for the Ranger Station for years as an agent who would not come in from the cold.
Alerts have been sent out and I have a feeling that Big Foot will be attending the funeral.
I am sending a spray of mistletoe.
May he rest in peace. We will mourn him even in death and we will remember fondly his snowballs forever.
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I like it. I would add some thing after the last line though...maybe just like one extra line but otherwise I liked it.
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okay
This is okay but I think that you should make it longer. I think that you should also seperate it. You know, space it out a littl. Other then that I liked your beginning and the ending. Good job so far.
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