swallow your sleep

She knew this was going to happen! She and her five girlfriends had just finished watching a movie about a girl who gets raped. Sure enough, after the credits began, they all started talking about rape. 1

"That would be so scary!"2

"I wouldn't want anyone to know"3

"Well, people find out anyways whether or not you tell them."4

"I'd just kick 'im in the balls"5

"As long as you know how to defend yourself, you're fine."6

How did they know how they would act? They didn't. They didn't have a clue. "Yeah, I guess," she started to chime in, "but how do we know until it's happened to us? And hopefully it never will..."7

Without staying to listen to the rest of the conversation, she began stacking all their dishes they'd used to chow-down during the movie. All of them but her. 8

She carried the milk glasses, popcorn bowls, and other miscellaneous dishes down to the foreign kitchen and dumped them in the sink.9

Gripping the sides of the counter, she muttered quietly "God, they make me so sick." She didn't know if the disgust was caused by their eating, their know-it-all attitudes, or their blindness. Probably all of the above. 10

She opened up the fridge and spotted the wine she had seen earlier over her friend's shoulder. She made a cup with her hand to catch the liquid. After slurping it all up and wiping her face with the back of her hand, she began to search the drawers as quickly and quietly as possible, praying to find a friend. She was pleased with whatever she found and stuffed it into her sweatshirt pocket. Walking back into the room, she noticed that they were still on about the same subject. This was too much.11

She had just finished cutting Kate's hair, and when she walked back into the room, everyone was quiet. Dawn was on the top bunk, Brooke and Sylvia were on the bottom bunk, Tracy was on the regular bed, and Kate was still in the shower rinsing off all the extra hair pieces. 12

She tiptoed to her bag and retrieved her blanket and book. She sat on the floor, propped up against the end of the bed, clutching her book. She stayed like this just thinking, long after Kate had come back and fallen asleep next to Tracy. 13

Even though all she could hear was heavy sleep-drunk breathing, she knew she wasn't the only one up. She glanced over at the bottom bunk-bed and saw the small crack of hallway light shine across Sylvia's open eyes. She must've been watching the whole time. It was still somewhat awkward between the two girls who had been enemies, then best friends, then almost-lovers, then not talking to each other, and now friends again. Their souls were still knit together even after all they had been through, but they weren't about to admit it to one another. 14

She laid her head on her book and curled up as much as she could, reminiscing about everything she had been through these past two years. It was probably more than what most people go through in a lifetime. Suddenly she heard whispering in her ear. 15

"You don't belong there. Go on the bed with Brooke, I'll go with Kate and Tracy." Startled, she blinked wide-eyed at Sylvia. After regaining her senses she replied, "Oh, no, I'm fine. Thanks though."16

-"The floor is dirty. Go on the bed"17

-"I'm comfy here."18

-"You don't belong on the floor, it's no place for you."19

She knew that Sylvia wasn't just referring to her sleeping situation, so she got up obediently and climbed into the bed next to the dead-asleep Brooke. 20

Sylvia understood her.21

At least, in her heart she did.