It all started around the bonfire. Our class had our annual camping on the school grounds. I was lucky, our class had been associated with his class. Even though he never notices me, I always notice him. His my age. His name is Allastair. His friends call him Al. 1
He approached me. It felt amazing. It seems he's finally going to talk to me! Then he began to speak. "Hi, I'm Al. You're Donna right?... Look I don't know if you have noticed but... well, I really like your best friend Mari. It may be ackward for you because you have just met me but I really need your help. The dance is coming up next week and I would really love to go with her. I'm really desperate. I'm even willing to offer doing your homework for a week...even for a month!"Slowly as I listened to his words, I felt my heart melt. It was really painful. I wanted to run away from that place but I can't move. All I did was nod. Then I had no choice. I really liked him so I wanted him to be happy. As I continued to become his bridge to my bestfriend(who didn't know how much I adored Al), I felt my self get more attracted to him. I fell harder for his sweetness and his kindness. Then when the dance came. I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. I ran home and locked myself in my room for the following days.2
Days passed, then months. More pain as I see them together. I started excluding myself from them especially when she begins to tell me stories about him. 3
Two days before our annual camping trip, Mari talked to me.4
"I can't take it anymore!"5
"what?" I answered.6
Then she told me how she felt something was missing. I wanted to slap her. I was so mad because she is in the shoes I wanted more than anything but she seems unhappy to be in it.7
The following day, Al gave me a textmessage saying they just broke up.8
Now, as I stare at him, I see the mark of sadness in his face. He looks so lonely. It was because his girlfriend just dumped him. He is now looking at the sight of his ex-girlfriend, my best friend, having a really good time with Johnny,her new boyfriend. Then it seemed like he glanced at me. Wait, that's just my imagination.9
I don't know what to feel. I feel pity and anger...We played 7 minutes in heaven but since it was the school grounds we had to lock the ones picked inside a classroom.10
The bottle was spinning then it pointed to him. I wished it won't point to me for I have nothing to say to him, But I wasn't heard. We were trapped inside a classroom for seven whole minutes. I tried to keep it silent but he began to speak. He told me how he needed my help again. But I don't want to help! I want him to be with me! I had nothing to say but "You know, I like you... but I've just experienced too much!" 11
I left the room crying. On my way back, I bumped into Mari. She seemed mad at me. I ignored her. I went back to where the others are. They are in the middle of roasting marshmallows so they didn't notice me arrive.12
The following day, I woke up early. I was on my morning jog when I overheard people talking. 13
"How could you do this?"14
"It just happened..she helped me get to you...I didn't expect to fall for her."15
I didn't finish the converation... I just left.16
At breakfast,I saw Mari. She seemed to be crying because her eyes are swollen. Johnny was just comforting her.17
Al, on the other hand, tried to approach me. But I ran away.18
After that I begged my parents to have me transfer school which was easy because I always transfer school wheneer my dad gets a promotion.I never talked to any of them ever again!19
Author notes
For those who didn't get it... Al broke up with Mari for Donna
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration by Mel-the-Believer.
130 points, ended October 29, 2006, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I want A Teen Story! by Near.
250 points, ended January 6, 2007, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
This was very good, I enjoyed this. Awesome job! ^..^
-
nice
uyyy... si ethel nakabronze na trophy... nice.. pero bakit hindi mo nalang pinatay yung guy.. para dramatic yung ending?? hehe.. just kidding.. -
you have quite a few sentence fragments in this.
and your paragraph structuring needs some work
this is a really interesting story, one you could do a lot with, detailing is vital. You should explain more about the people she overheard talking. describe the tones of voice, inflictions, even mannerisms when they move or talk. You've got a great beginning to a story here. Run with it. You've got the right idea
-
That was a good story, I felt the ending was a little rushed, but other than that it was good. Thank you for entering. Good luck. God Bless!



