Golden Chip off the Sun

One day there was this guy who thought that he could impersonate a God
So he dressed himself up in disguise of the sun
Then as he saw a gullible pair, he said in a booming voice "I am the God of the sun!! See the non mask which is my face which is the sun!??" The pair looked at him in awe, crying "Yes! We see it!"
The voice then said "There is a golden Chip I want you to find for me!"
And the pair said "Ok Sun! We shall find it for you and sacrifice it at a temple we have yet to find in a manner we have yet to divine but we shall do it!!"
And thus, the future was decided
The pair (named Jane and Jeremy) were, conveniently, dressed in penguin suits, suitable for infiltrating the Chip Shop
As they approached the Chippery with a sidling gait, Jeremy said to Jane "You know what? I have gun" Jane ooh'd
Jeremy informed her that "I have a BIG gun" She coo'd more, unsure if she ought to be winking for the audience
Jeremy then inquired, "Would you like to see it?" And she said "Oooh yes please!"
But at that moment, they had reached the Chip Shop, and therefor, not in close enough proximity to a dark alley to peruse their wares
As they approached, an animate sock peeked out of the doorway
The sock replied "I am, indeed a Sock! But I am no mere sock. I am a Chinese Chip Shop Sock!"
So Jeremy repartée'd "Then may we enter your Chip Shop?"
The sock, parried the inquisition with the cry of... "No"
Jane gasped in surprise "But aren't our disguises good enough for you!? We dressed up in penguin suits just to please you!"
The sock then said "I cannot let you enter my Chip Shop! For this is not my Chip Shop! I just loiter around... Waiting for expensive people who will gladly 'donate' money to a 'sock' in return for being allowed to 'wear' me!"
Jeremy began to ask "I am an exp-" but at that moment, Jane gripped him, pausing his request
And so, Jane and Jeremy infiltrated the Chip Shop
They crept sluggishly from open hiding place to open hiding place, occasionally rolling over each other with a minor grunt
And after several bruises, they reached the counter
Jeremy looked shiftily from left to right, then knocked on the counter
Another Sock (assumeably Chinese, he'd never seen an English sock with a thin curly mustache) appeared as if from nowhere! Although, that was probably Jeremy's absent mindedness
Shouldn't think so
And Jeremy cleared his throat, then rasped "Give me a bag of chips." he looked shiftily again, "And I'd like them... Golden"
The Sock looked as confused as a sock can after being asked such a request. That is... As puzzled as a sock can. Seeing as it has few features with which to look puzzled
Except for the curly mustache
Anyways, in a thick accent, probably full of mutton and goat syrup, the sock replied...
"Yes. That'll be £1.25"
And so, Jane gave up the contents of her pockets, and snatched away the bag of Chips before the sock could see that she had merely handed over a button and an old receipt
(That is... as soon as the sock grew eyes etc.)
The pair then sneekified their way out of the Chippery, and searched for the Sun
In their search, Jeremy said to Jane, "Where is the Sun??" And Jane replied "Up there!" Pointing at the hot orangy thing in the sky.
Jeremy looked up, in search of it, then after several minutes of looking, he said "I can't see it!"
Then Jane said "I'm sure it's still there! Unless... It's fallen down "
But she looked up, and with a sigh of relief, she espied it
Pointing at it again she said to Jeremy "Look! It's just there!" But Jeremy had to say "I cannot see where you're pointing either"
She thought of all the ways she could put this situation (and gun) to use
But shaking her head, she knew she must fun the sun again
As she was at the transition point between contemplation and realisation, the Sun God appeared from behind a trash can in the dark alley, crying "Have you found me the chip!?"
And Jane cried "Yes!"
Proffering the bag towards the figure
The Sun praised her, then said, "You know... I have a better gun than his"
But then Jane said "Well, nice as it may be, it always comes down to who's wielding the gun!"
And so, the Sun wandered away, eating the Chips *ehem* sacrificing the chips unto himself, and Jeremy and Jane spent an evening playing with the gun.
THE END1