I had just downloaded a new song... I wanted it on my mp3 player, but to my dismay it was nowhere to be found. I thought of where I had left it.
"Ah ha!" I cried, "It was in my car. I must venture to retrieve my mobile song player!" I looked around it must be at least 20 feet to the door. Then I must climb down all 23 of my stairs to reach "the kitchen." There I will have to brave this place of slaughter. Finally I must clammer through the darkness of 11pm night. No telling how many people have been lost for ever in the dead of cold dark night such as this one. "I cannot let these dangers stop me! I must go to school sounding my new tunes!" As I told my msn contact "I’ll brb" hoping I would return to my sanctuary. I stood up and began my greatest journey to date! I trudged over at a record pace to the stairs. As I looked downward before I began my decent I thought that only 3 people have ever made it all the way down injury free. I inhaled deeply as I got a footing and carefully went down them. "SHAT!" I yelled as my hand slipped from the railing! I recovered my grip and made it down. Now for the kitchen. As I looked around I saw the bones of the residents feast.... chickens! "GRAAAHHHH!" one of the residents were astir. Quickly but quietly I dashed out the door. Now I must triumph through the thickness of the dark night. I heard a dog bark off in the distance. "Their coming.." I thought "I must hurry." I dashed to my car and recovered the device I was seeking now I must make it back. but as I turned to head back a dog was impeding my path. I knew there was only one way out.... the double summer Sault Arial shooting star twist.. attempted by many done by no man. I was determined I would be the first.. I ran toward the beast. it bared its fangs but I didn't quiver! "GAAWAAAA!" I cried as I jumped and did the move. the dog was gone. I ran inside and up stairs only to find that the power was out.. I had blow a fuse with the microwave! Now I must go into the deeps of hell to flip a switch to get my power back. I went through a suffering no man should ever go through.... so many spiders, so much dust, and such narrow stairs. After many days of fighting I returned, bloody and bruised but I had my power back so I could get my song! I then went into a deep sleep awaiting the day to come that I must go to school. . . . . . . .
this is a story about my going to my car just to get my mp3 player... if u thought it was any good send me a comment or reply or something..... let my adventure not be in vain.. lmao
Author notes
lol i was bored and wht not so yea! i wrote this quickly so i didn't ever really edit or go throught it really so yea.... sloppy version.
(for a contest)vvvv
The rabid squirrels of doom have stolen my chocolate and hit me over the head with metal baseball bats.
A contest entry
- I'm bored, so anything. by Loonamist.
175 points, ended February 19, 2007, 43 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Are You A Class Clown by blink-182.
135 points, ended February 20, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short and Sweet! by tacobell4me08.
305 points, ended February 16, 2007, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING! by travis34dietC.
116 points, ended February 27, 2007, 19 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Something to make me laugh by Kitzwa.
135 points, ended February 25, 2007, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Surprise Me by kelseyo.
175 points, ended March 2, 2007, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short Shorts by Delfishie.
175 points, ended April 7, 2007, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - tell me something i don't know by Cecilia Marlana.
100 points, ended May 13, 2007, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - So many options it will make your head spin! by Manea.
250 points, ended June 9, 2007, 24 entries
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275 points, ended June 21, 2007, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - 2000 Points Cash- Up For Grabs! by Chibi-chan.
2400 points, ended July 31, 2007, 38 entries
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225 points, ended July 17, 2007, 45 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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CHEATER
all right this DQ so everybody this guy is A BIG CHEATER -
Okay that a pretty bad trick you tried to play on us. You have to be a member of Storywriter Inc, either join or this is a DQ
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lol, pretty nice but you forgot to include your name we need to be sure that your a member of Storywriter Inc
Good Luck in the Contest -
I'm sorry, but this story violates my second rule in which the minimum length is supposed to be 500 words. Unless you add to this, I will have to disqualify you. Message me when you do so, so that I will know to look back at this story and not to disqualify it.
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Sounds like an adventure to get to your MP3. This was an amusing read, though a little hard to follow at times. I can't consider you for a prize just yet- you haven't quite followed the rules. Out of fairness to everyone else, I have to ask that you follow them before I consider you for the 2000 point prize. Let me know when you do!
Good job, and thanks for entering!
~Aya
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really Funny
This is hilarious, can yopu get any better> I guy in search for his MP3 player. Awesome, kinda short but still good.
Yay!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 2.
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That was kind of funny, a good story. I know what it's like to loose my MP3.
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ok......................
uh this was kinda silly but i think i get the point in it. i hate going outside after dark for anything! -
cute
Cute story. I love the over-dramatization of such mundane actions. I believe I've read another of your stories in a similar vein - I bet this is a series you're working on, right?
There were a bunch of grammar mistakes in this that detracted from the story. Also, you need to seperate your HUGE paragraph into many, many smaller ones.
Good luck in the contest. -
Pretty funny story. Good job and good luck in my contest.
xoxo
Kelsey -
I don't know what it was about it, but it seemed like it only took you 5 min. to write. Also, I think you mean "they're here" not "their here" sorry, but it bugged me. I like the premise of it. It's very simple, and has the potential to be a great story.
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lol! all that trouble for your mp3..nice job! thanks for entering my contest!
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lmao....that was fing great man. lol
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My face?????? Its from the Phantom of the Opera. I want to change it but I forgot how. How do you do it?
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This is not fuuuuuuuuuunnnyyyy
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but your face is! lol no but seriously thk u for reading it and for your opinion
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uummm that was preety cool and i feel the same way about my ipod so u have a good chance in winning good luck
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omg thats the most random halarious story, it was pretty good actually kinda random...but good!
beginning: 5, language: 1, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 3.
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lol. Good. I really liked it. Some of it was a tad bit confusing but I still really liked it. It kept me smiling the whole time, thank u!
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very good dialog should be it's own paragraph. I must go into the deeps of hell,deeps should be depths. the dog was gone. the T should be capitalized. You need to make paragraphs.
beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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yeah i no this is very poorly punchuated but i really havn't done any editing to it at all. I just like it cause of the simplicity and what not
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lmao
I absolutly adore this story!! My friends will be reading it. lol random weird stories like this doesn't keep my interest at all but this one I enjoyed very much =]
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okay thnx for entering the contest
okay well, this was very good, i like it.
very well written, besides a few errrors. but other than that it was very good and creative. good luck and keep up the great work. great job -
i honostly thought this was going to be stupid but in my suprise i loved it..u had me laughin and curious of what was going to happen. good story haha..and for a story written fast not as much as errors as i thought there were going to be.
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its a very good write, kinda wierd, but very good.
i like the way u discribed everything.
also the way u made it sound like a journey just to get to the car.
it was very good, and creative.
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I must venture to retrieve my mobile song player! sounds awkward
There I will have to brave this place of slaughter. why is it the place of slaughter
I'd check over your punctuation and some of your dialog sounds a little stilted but it's an interesting start. you might want to give more details about where they are and why it's so dangerous. why were the animals so vicious?
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