Mary the Fairy Penguin and the Mutant Clownhopper

It was a bright and sunny morning in Houston, Texas. Lou, fully dressed for work as a circus clown, was pouring dangerous chemicals on an innocent grasshopper he had found in his bathroom that morning. It had jumped on his foot and scared the "willies" out of him. Now it was paying the price.

Ara the grasshopper was angry. Those dumb chemicals HURT. Luckily, he had a plan to stop the torture. Quickly, Ara summoned the last of his strength and jumped on Lou's arm. He opened his jaws and took a big bite. "Ow!" Lou yelled, but the sound was drowned out by the sound of a million chemicals--both natural and manmade--coming together. There was a flash of white light. When it faded, there was, in place of Lou and Ara, a hideous monster with compound eyes, antennae, four regular front legs and two giant hind legs. On his face was white clown makeup, a red rubber nose, and a very wide mouth with lots of colorful makeup lining it. His body was covered in a huge polka-dotted white jumpsuit, and huge red shoes were on each of his feet. And so Lora the Mutant Clownhopper was created.


It was a dark and stormy night in Norrisown, Pennsylvania. Mary the fairy penguin was hiding in her cage watching the rain pour down outside.How did Mary the fairy penguin end up in the Norristown Zoo? Well, that is a long story, and will have to wait until I write it. The point is, Mary was locked up while The Greatest Dissater Since the 2000 Presidential Election happened. She ramained completely ignorant of it, and fell asleep.

She was woken up later that night by her friend and fellow prisoner Quincy coming in to tell her that the fairies were there to rescue them. They had opened the cage door using magic and sprinkled levitation powder on Quincy so he could fly. Mary got out of the cage as quickly as she was able, and went with her fairy friends. But instead of taking her back to Antarctica, they flew to Texas. On the way there, the fairies explained about Lora the Clownhopper.

Readers may be wondering: Don't superheroes take care of evil monsters and don't fairies usually spread happiness and joy? Well, that is not how it is. Fairies get rid of just as many monsters as superheroes do, possibly even more. They just don't brag about it.

Now, back to our story. When the fairies and Quincy arrived in Houston, the Clownhopper had scared many people to death, and even more into comas. Any mortal being who saw it and survived was too paralyzed with terror to do anything about it. The fairies, being timid creatures, were also a bit scared, but they were immortal so they didn't have to worry. However, it was such a scary monster that it messed up some of their powers (fairies are very delicate creatures, and their balance of powers gets upset easily), such as that to paralyze. And paralyzation was the only thing that would work against the monster, as his mutant-ness made him immune to everything else--except death. The fairies decided that in order to save the city, they would have to kill the Clownhopper, as much as they hated killing things (even evil mutants).

Due to the extreme mutant-ness of the monster and his split personality, the fairies didn't know what to do. But then Mary had an idea.

"What if we combined bug spray and a halloween mask and sprayed it at him? That would kill the grasshopper part of him and terrify the clown part of him to death!"

"Brilliant!" said Mary's fairy friend Jasmine. "Let's do it!"

So Mary contatced her human friend Kerry and asked to borrow some bug spray and an old halloween mask. After searching through various boxes, Kerry finally found a Darth Vader mask (so perfect), and biked to the drugstore to get some bug spray. Kerry cut the mask into teeny tiny pieces, mixed it in with the bug spray, and gave it to the fairies. Bring it on, Clownhopper.

It was not hard to find Lora the Clownhopper. He was in the middle of the city, approaching the bank. Quickly, Mary ran out in front of the Clownhopper and taunted him while Jasmine snuck up from behind with the bug spray/mask. Once Lora the Clownhopper was properly confused, Jasmine handed Mary the maskspray (as they were now calling it), and she flew up high and sprayed it down on him.

The Clownhopper started twitching and frowning and twitching and frowning and writhing in pain and unhappiness. Then, suddenly, he was still. When people started coming out of their comas of fear, the fairies knew he was dead. Everyone cheered. The Mutant Clownhopper was gone. Houston was safe once again.