As she watched the faint outline of his ship disappearing over the horizon, she drew out a small patch of linen and gently dabbed the stinging tears from her face. She drew her other arm sharply to her chest as she felt a stabbing pain spread throughout her body. Her breasts rose and fell deliberately, but with ever breath the task became harder. A dizzying rush of emotions crowded her mind. The burning sensation no longer accompanied her intake of air, but that's because the oxygen ceased to flow through her veins. She swooned and her eyes went dark. Her head hit the cobblestone path with a fierce intensity. The tension seemed to pour out of her body with the blood that was escaping her head. Her golden locks were sullied with the crimson dye. The angels and Death itself crowded her frail body waiting to carry both her soul and the one in her womb onto the next life.It was at that moment that a blacksmith's apprentice noticed her lying on the pavement that overlooked the harbor. He was rushing to fetch a hide from the tanner, but compassion slowed his steps when he saw the young woman lying amidst the pool of blood.He gathered her up in his greasy arms that had only recently started to turn into those of a man. Carefully he lifted her and did his best not to let the tresses of her pale blue gown touch the precious life source that had escaped the prison of her curls....1
Author notes
A blacksmith's apprentice and a newlywed meet and begin a friendship that is deemed unacceptable by society. And in reality they both question whether or not they want to continue calling it a friendship, but they keep those feelings to themselves.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i really like the idea here, and i cant wait to see where you go with it. SERIOUSLY! lol, im really interested in this, but i think you need to expand, and fast! so, ya, when u write more, ill read it, so keep writing and have fun!
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You don't explain why she's bleeding, how is she injured? why doesn't she scream? she stands there as some boat leaves that you don't give much details about and merely stands there while she could possibly be bleeding to death.
This could turn into an amazing storyline you've got a good flow for the parts you do have but there is much missing.
I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this -
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The idea was that she blacks out, and hits the cobblestone- badly hitting her head. I'll get into the boat later - her husband was on it.
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