The Story (revised)

"Hello, I would like to purchase a fish license please."1

"A what?"2

"A license for my pet fish, Eric"3

"How did you know my name was Eric?"4

"No no no. My fish's name is Eric; Eric Fish. He's an halibut."5

"What?"6

"He is an halibut."7

"You got a pet halibut?"8

"Yes, I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like all the others. They were all too flat."9

"You must be a loony."10

"I am not a loony! Why should I be tarred with the apathy 'loony' merely because I have a pet halibut?"11

"Alright alright. A license?"12

"Yes."13

"For a fish?"14

"Yes."15

"You are a loony."16

"Look! It's a pet isn't it? I got a license for my pet dog Eric and a license for my pet cat Eric."17

"You don't need a license for your cat."18

"Well I sure as well do and I got one! Won't be caught out in the rain on that one."19

"There is no such thing as a cat license."20

"Is!"21

"Isn't!"22

"Is!"23

"Isn't!"24

"I got one here, look! There, what's that then?"25

"This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in in crayon."26

"The man didn't have the right form."27

"What man?"28

"The man from the Cat Detector Van."29

"The Loony Detector Van you mean?"30

"It's people like you that cause unrest."31

"What Cat Detector Van?"32

"The Cat Detector Van from the Ministry of Housing."33

"Ministry of Housing?"34

"Yes. I have never seen so many aerials. The man said their equipment could pinpoint a cat at 400 yards and Eric, being such a happy cat, was a piece of cake."35

"How much did you pay for that?"36

"Ummmmm....Sixty dollars and eight for the fruit bat."37

"What fruit bat?"38

"Eric the fruit bat."39

"Are all your pets called Eric?"40

"Now there is nothing so odd about that! Kemal Ataturk had an entire menagerie called Frank!"41

"No he didn't..."42

"Did!"43

"Didn't!"44

"Did did did did did did did!"45

"Oh alright."46

"Now, are you going to give me a fish license?"47

"I promise you that there is no such thing, you don't need one."48

"In that case, give me a bee license."49

"A license for your pet bee?"50

"Correct."51

"Called Eric, Eric the Bee?"52

"Nope."53

"No?"54

"Nope, Eric the Half Bee. He had an accident."55

"You're off your rocker."56

"Look! If you intend by that utilization of an obscure reference that my sanity is not up to scratch, or to deny the semi-existence of my little friend, Eric the Half Bee, I shall have to ask you to step outside!"57

"Alright, hold on."58

[The licenser digs around under the counter and pulls out an old dog license. Reaching in his pocket he finds a red crayon. He proceeds to scratching out 'dog' and writing 'bee'.]59

"Thank you for my marvelous license."60