Well, folks, here it is. I've got all (Most) of the mushy character development out of way, and now comes the bloodshed! Enjoy!1
The next day dawned a pitiful gray. The sky itself seemed depressed. But the foul weather couldn’t dampen Naruto’s spirit. The whole team had spent the night at Brom’s, sleeping where they fell. Naruto bounded out of bed, or in his case, off of Brom’s couch, and landed squarely in the middle of Uchiha Sasuke’s back. The Uchiha had passed out in the floor, and Sakura was nowhere to be seen. Sasuke came up with a cross between a grunt and a roar, and Naruto felt the wind off of a passing kunai that embedded itself in the ceiling after nearly taking off his nose. Naruto jumped off of Sasuke and bounded into the kitchen. Sakura and Brom were at the table, and Brom was spooning some eggs out onto a plate with a spatula. “Morning Naruto. Before you even ask, I don’t have any ramen. So your choice is either eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, cereal, grits, venison, or a can of pork and beans.”2
Naruto dove into a plate of bacon and eggs, and inhaled it only slightly slower than he inhaled ramen. He then washed it down with a cup of coffee, which he had recently found he liked.3
Kyu came walking in from the living room. The fox jumped from floor to lap, then from lap to table, and began to eat some sausage. About ten minutes later Sasuke came in, and had two cans of pork and beans, and a cup of oolong tea for breakfast.4
Brom cleared his throat. “Get your gear together, gentlemen. The time is now noon. We have four hours to accomplish any shopping or preparation we may wish to undertake before we have to go and apply for the exams.” The group piled out and spread out. Naruto went to a local shop and bought a few secondhand kunai. Sasuke dug through the pile of weapons he’d made until he found what he was looking for. He sold three naginata and a matched brace of wakizashi to get enough money to purchase eight Fuuma Shuriken, a scroll of advanced stealth jutsus, and a half-pint of sake. Once bought, he sat at his place writing poetry and practicing with Inazuma.5
Sakura bought a new set of clothes, several medical kits, a field-surgery pack, and a couple cheap shuriken. She spent the remainder of the four hours meditating, trying to be anything but nervous, and failing miserably.6
Brom, on the other hand, was out and about doing lots of shopping. He bought smoke bombs, soldier pills, and a sword-care kit, among other things. He also went to the local tobacconist, and replenished his dwindling supply of Bull Durham. He bought saddle soap, and was about to go back to his apartment when a rack of spears caught his eye. He examined each, and walked out with one of them, a stout spontoon with a faded fleur-de-lis on the blade.7
They met at the entrance to the Academy. Brom sat astride Daredevil, his saddle gleaming, his boots freshly blacked, and the spear couched in a pocket of the stirrup. Naruto was wearing his cleanest dirty clothes, and looked like he’d just woken up, which he had. Kyu sat at his feet, playing the part of the pet fox to the hilt. Sakura came up to them, her rapier belted on, and her hair tied back with her hitai-ate. Sasuke appeared like a shadow among them, and they went in. Luckily, the hallways were big enough for Daredevil to pass through, though Brom had to dismount and lead him. Kyu perched atop Naruto’s shoulders, his balance impeccable. As they approached the doorway, people started to give them a wide berth, mostly because of Daredevil looking half-crazed. They came up to the door, and found a boy in a green jumpsuit being beat on by two others standing at the door. “Is someone as talentless as you really planning to take the Chuunin Selection Exam? Why bother?” said one, a tall boy with a malicious gleam in his eyes.8
“Bunch of wet-behind-the-ears snotnoses!” added his partner, a spiky-haired child with a face plastered in band-aids.9
“You said it!”10
A girl walked up to them, past the prostrate form of her companion. “Please, we’re begging you... Let us in.” The band-aid boy’s response was to backhand her in the face.11
Brom was moving before he even thought. His saber and hunting knife were drawn and at the two boys’ throats. “To strike a lady is not the act of a gentleman.”12
Band-aid Boy looked at him, unfazed at the fact that a blade so sharp that he could’ve shaved with it was pressed to his neck. “You misunderstand! We’re just trying to spare you! The exam is very difficult, and we ought to know, we’ve failed it three times! People have been crippled for life, even killed. Besides that, Chuunin are cell commanders. The full responsibility for failed missions and dead shinobi fall on their shoulders. And you punks have the guts to apply? We’re saving a step by weeding out the obvious losers beforehand.”13
“That sounds good in theory, but you’d better let me and my team through,” said Sasuke.14
Brom spoke up. “And drop the genjutsu. I know we’re still on the second floor. Right, Sakura? You’re the genius of our team, so you probably knew from the get-go.”15
“Of course, we’re obviously still on the second floor.”16
The world swam for a second as the illusion dissipated. “Not bad. But just seeing through it isn’t enough!” The band-aid boy spun into a kick aimed at Sasuke’s head, just as Sasuke began a kick of his own. Brom whirled out of the way and prepared to jump in, but the kicks were both stopped by the boy in the green jumpsuit. Brom was impressed. There was speed.17
The boy let go of the combatants’ legs, and strode over to Sakura. “Hi. My name is Rock Lee. You’re Sakura, right? Would you like to go out with me? I’ll protect you with my life!”18
Brom saw Sakura getting ready to do physical harm to this poor, bushy-browed moron, so he stepped between. “My name is Abraham Van Brunt Crane. My friends call me Brom Bones, but you may call me Final Lullaby. Because if you make so much as one more pass at my girlfriend, I’ll put you to bed with a pick and shovel.” His voice held much venom, and promises of harm to come. They walked off, leaving a saddened Lee behind.19
“Thanks for the save, Brom. You meant what you said? About me being your girlfriend?”20
Brom blushed. “If you’ll have me.”21
"Of course I will!" She sealed the deal by planting a kiss right on his mouth.22
They were almost to the doors when above them they heard a voice. “You, with the swords, fight me! Here and now!” It was Lee.23
Brom looked at him, and said, “Alright. If you want a beating so badly, who am I but a gentleman, to give you what you wish?” He slid into a fighting stance.24
Lee jumped down from the balcony and assumed his stance. Lee made the first move, a blindly fast rush that no eye could follow. Brom took the kick full in the chest, and rebounded off the wall, falling into a diving tackle. He caught Lee by the wrist, and drug him down to the floor. After a few seconds of grappling, and two Jyuuken-style hits to the kidney that would probably leave Lee pissing blood for a week, Brom was tossed aside. He regained his feet, and stood there, wobbling for a second or so. Lee darted in, assured of a victory. But as he saw when he got near, he had stumbled into a trap. Brom started to move, a series of attacks that Naruto knew well. “Akurei Tenohira Ryu: Shikon Rendan!” Naruto watched as Brom battered the boy, his chakra rebounding inside Lee to make it seem as if he was being beaten from within as well as from outside. Lee found an opening, and dropped to the floor, kicking Brom into the air. He followed, and his arm bandages began to wrap around Brom. As he began to wrap tighter, a pinwheel flew out of nowhere and pinned the bandages to the wall.25
“Stop, Lee!” Brom fell to the floor, and passed out. His fight was more draining than it had looked. Sakura dragged him out to a corner where it was cool and started to bring him back to reality. In the mean time, Naruto and Sasuke were stuck with a turtle that talked, and two sets of eyebrows that looked like they were alive. Lee’s sensei had appeared out of nowhere, ranting about the exuberance of youth, and he had bigger eyebrows than Lee!26
By the time Brom came to, Lee and his master were gone. He staggered to his feet, collected his spontoon from where Naruto was obviously trying to put out someone’s eye with it, and headed for the door. When they arrived at 301, Kakashi was there to meet them. “Ah, good. I see you all made it. That means you all qualify for the exams.”27
“Huh?” Naruto was confused.28
“The way the test is set up, you have to take it as a team. If even one of you declined, you’d all fail. The whole ‘The decision is up to you’ thing was so the others wouldn’t pressure you into participating if you didn’t feel like it. But you’re all here, so you all pass.” They walked past Kakashi into the room.29
They were immediately surrounded by a huge milling crowd of people, but most gave them room. They were beginning to relax and prepare mentally for whatever unforeseen tests that they might have to face, when Kyu stood and his hackles went up. A boy with a puppy walked over, and looked with contempt at the Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. “Well, well, it seems that the idiot and his team made it here, too. I wonder how? It surely wasn’t on brains. Why’d you enter? To watch me move up in the ranks?”30
Brom, who was laying down, his head propped up on a rucksack and his eyes closed, said, “ I’d recognize that growl anywhere. Good hunting, Inuzuka.”31
Kiba replied without thinking. “And good kill to you, brother. Wait, who are you? And how do you know that greeting?”32
“I am Abraham Van Brunt Crane, at your service, and I am to you what I am to the Hyuuga. Kith and kin. My line is linked to your line, though I be not a houndsman.”33
They fell into a sort of ritualized, formal banter, each saying what he meant, but not quite what he meant. “If be you not a houndsman, then to what beast be you linked?”34
“I am for another beast of the foot, neither hound nor hawk.”35
“A horseman?”36
“Aye, a horseman. Your wit is as sharp as your fangs, Inuzuka.”37
“I should hope my wits match my name! For my name is Fang. Inuzuka Kiba, at your service. And my companion is Akamaru.”38
“This is my companion, Daredevil. Say hi, Devil.”39
“Nice to meet you, Red.”40
“And you, Daredevil. Wait, I smell...”41
“Me!” Kyu was bristling.42
“Kiba! A fox! A fox!” The dog began to bristle and growl. His breed had an ingrained hatred of foxes, and killed them at every opportunity. He was struggling in Kiba’s arms, trying to get at the hated fox below him.43
Kiba looked at Kyu, who was snarling in Naruto’s lap. Naruto was glaring at him. “What are you looking at, Naruto?”44
“I’m not sure, but it ain’t human.”45
Brom interjected. “Now, now, boys, don’t make a scene. I wouldn’t want a family quarrel.”46
“I got no truck with you,” said Kiba.47
“Ah, but if you brawl with Naruto, you draw me in, for I am kin to three clans in Konoha, the powerful Inuzuka, the noble Hyuuga, and the last surviving Uzumaki.”48
“You mean to tell me that I’m related to-”49
“Yup. To the class clown.”50
“This has got to be a nightmare.” Akamaru bit him on the arm. “Nope, that hurt. This is real.”51
“Course it is. Now, there’s one more reason why you shouldn’t be starting fights here. Look around you. Most of these people are in a foul mood. I wouldn’t like to be the one who lays that final straw on the camel’s back. You?”52
“I agree,” said a voice behind them. They turned to face a blond boy, wearing glasses. “Yakushi Kabuto’s the name. I know all about this test. I’ve failed it six times so far. And the boy with the horse is right. You don’t want a fight now. Especially if you piss off those guys.” He pointed to a trio in the back of the room, wearing gray and white camo and headbands with an eighth note on them. “They’re from Hidden Sound. It’s a very small village to the north. Nobody knows what their specialties are, so no one wants to fight them.”53
Brom wandered off, and was just starting to get comfortable when he heard a swish behind him. He wheeled, and a Hidden Sound ninja had just swung and missed Kabuto’s face. Brom watched, and then Kabuto doubled over and lost his cookies.54
“Would everybody please shut up!” There was a boom and a huge cloud of smoke rolled in. Out of it appeared a large group of shinobi, led by a scarred man in a black trenchcoat. “My name is Morino Ibiki, and I’ll be the chief proctor for the first phase of the exam. From now on, no fighting, and if you disobey you’re gone. No second chances. Turn in your applications, take a card, and go to the seat indicated. Then we’ll start the written portion of the test.”55
Naruto was speechless, no, mortified. “A paper test?! Why me?!”56
An hour later, Brom agreed with his simpleton cousin. That test had been a killer. Naruto had very nearly washed out, until it finally dawned on him that the several centuries-old fox sleeping on his shoulder ought to know this sort of stuff. Kyu told him, and then relayed the message to Daredevil, who told Brom. And the tenth question, it nearly broke him. He’d not risk everyone’s dreams just to further his own, and would have declined the question, had not Naruto been so bold. It heartened him, and he took the question, passing the test. He watched with mild interest as the second examiner, one Mitarashi Anko, burst, literally, through the window with a type of flair that almost reminded him of Naruto. She vowed to cut the group in half, and it was with some slight dread that Brom bedded down that night.57
Author notes
more on the way.
Adding your comment: