I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't know how much longer I can hold onto this ledge that my fingers and attached to. I've been hurt to badly. Much to badly. Nothing seems right anymore; my friends, my school work, my life, everything! All that it seems to be is this worthless pile of nothingness that lies before me, mocking me with every move that I make to try and get away. I fight, oh, I fight. Nothing ever stops. It just won't stop.1
My heart is breaking in two, and yet, I have to remain a strong person for everyone else to see. I hate their pity! They don't really know me! No one does, not even those who are my family. I can show them nothing of who I truely am, for if I were to show them, I would be rebuked, and turned away from. It is a horrid life that I live.2
I am not as perfect as I make myself out to be. I have my own faults, but no one knows that. They are all so naive! They think that I am happy with what my life gave me, the way that I dress, the way that I look, a teenager who does no self mutilation. Wow, they think and some have said it to my face. ' You really are put together right.'3
They are wrong.4
I hate the way that I am. I wish that I was thin, like my sister, beautiful like my sister, and loved like my family. I fight against my life to change what I have been given and yet, I get no where! The razor blade is tempting in times like this. I am a lost cause.5
I have faught forever, it seems. Now, I am weary, and tired of it all. Everything that I have ever done has been for naught! My 'friends' were nothing more than that. My 'family' was nothing more than this word. 6
I am exhausted from physically and mentally straining myself to do better and to be the best. I can't do it anymore! But I can not fail! 7
I could tell you so many reasons as to why I want to go. I am unhappy, depressed, and sad. A typical melodramatic teenager...until you know what I have gone through and what I am going through. 8
I can't do this anymore. Please don't ask me to. 9
I have to end it.10
_|\_____________________,,
/ `---____ ________ _____|] * * *
/_==o;;;;;;;;________.:/
),---.(_(__) / ^
// (\) ),----" ^
// //
// //
//_ //11
Author notes
Ripped from my own journal...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow, thats great,
i could feel the emotion flowing from this piece.
u realated it to where most poeple feel, and that counts alot. if people can relate, they can understand better.
this is really good, i like it. its very emotional.
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you express yourself wonderfully in this. Many people figuratively "dangle from a ledge" whether they are teenagers or not yet everyone assumes they are "so put together".
I hope that you realize that you aren't your sister, you are your own person worthy of love and respect. it's difficult to talk to someone sometimes, but I do hope that you have someone to speak with when things get overwhelming.
Great story and good imagery. If you were to expand on this I'd ask you to explain why you felt that the character isn't worthy of the same things as everyone else. What around them gives that impression.
Otherwise it's well done.
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(words in bold are words that should be there instead cuz of spelling or structure error)
line2- "that my fingers ARE attached to"
L3- "...hurt TOO badly..."
*wow...wow...if i gave you my journal from two years ago, you would have seen the EXACT same words and story that you just wrote. I've lived this to each period and exclamation mark. I guess we are a lot alike.
You wrote this very well. I understood completely where you were coming from and so I was able to relate. You are natural writer. keep up the good work!
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Awesome
That was amazing, very emotional and real. I love it. -
Powerful. The second paragraph got me. I felt and still feel the same. It's hard to find someone who will accept the true you. People are such shallow bastards most of the time. Hang in there.
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powerful!
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