The Static Prevails pt.1, Prelude To A Silent Song

Whispers echo through my mind and they scream of my betrayal but softly. it’s the softness that would drive me mad, if I wasn’t already. I sit in a corner of the dark, bare room and I let the shadows devour every particle of my being. I’m alone now and oh so cold but it feels right, my own private purgatory, no one sees ascension in a day after all. The wind howls outside my window and I shiver perpetually but it too feels right, my purgatory and my punishment.1

My mind drifts back through to a time when I was whole, when I was happy. I had a family once, so long ago now but the memory of them never seems to fade. I isolate that picture and freeze it for inspection, a caring wife, two smiling boys and a girl as beautiful as her mother. How did it all slip away? How could I let it? The picture fades away and I am left with only darkness, darkness so deep you could drown in it and I wish I could but my chastisement is not over yet. I can only remember the past and where it led me.2

Sinking into the gray, I let it all pass by, all my hopes all my dreams, I fell into mediocrity. I knew there was something wrong in my life but I just couldn't tell what and in my desperation I sought the answers in the bottom of a bottle, or in those small white pills or with a needle, but even those were mere distractions from the pain of my reality, a life, dull and void of happiness and contentment. I drove everyone who cared away, they could only watch from afar as I hurdled down my path of self destruction. I fell deeper and deeper into that pit of egotistical hatred.3

Caress the needle in my hand and dream of times gone past. Now here it is, my ever after, and am I happy? You shouldn’t even have to ask.4