Always with you... (Part 4)

Katie looked out of the bedroom window and saw the hearse pulling up outside of the door, “it can’t be that time already, Charlie still isn’t hear.” It was only them 2 that were going in the family car everyone else had decided to make their own way. She quickly grabbed her bag and the pad of paper that she had been writing on all night and made for the door, she opened it before they had the chance to knock. She saw Charlie sitting on the door step, “hi, how long have you been sitting there?” Katie asked.1

“Bout half an hour, or so.”2

“Why didn’t you knock and come in.”3

“I don’t know, I don’t think I could have coped with all the reminders of Danny.” Charlie said. Danny’s running shoes were still at the doorway, as was his coat and favourite cap. Charlie looked at them and started to cry again.4

“Seems the only way I cope at the moment Charlie, seeing his things around the house, his coat as I come in, his cup on the counter, his chair the way he last left it, his book on the night stand, his razor in the bathroom.” The tears started falling.5

“C’mon you, Danny wouldn’t have wanted us crying now would he? You knew how he felt about us upset.”6

“Yeah, you’re right.”7

The car door was ajar as they made their way to it…8

They pulled up to the church, the whole grounds were full, Katie knew Danny had friends but she didn’t realise just how many. Se had chose his close friends to say some words on him, they couldn’t get in contact with his father to let him know, they tried everything.9

Charlie and Katie gripped onto each other as they followed the coffin, which held Danny’s body in down the aisle. The walk seemed to go on forever, in some way Katie wished it would never end but she could feel her legs getting weaker underneath her. The church was filled, people seated, people standing, more people barely in the door. After everything went quiet the service began…10

Tony, Danny’s best friend since college got up to say a few words about him. He went to the front and turned and faced the coffin where Danny lay, and put a single white rose on top of it.11

“I’m going to miss you buddy…” The words were barely audible to the rest of the church, but Katie heard him, how it was so true, they all were going to miss him. He turned round to face everyone.12

“There’s not a lot I can say about Danny, well nothing that you all won’t know already. He was, is my best friend and I’ll always hold him near to my heart. He was one of the main reasons I made it through college, even through some hard times in life. No matter where or when I needed him, he was always there for me, and I just want to thank him for that… I guess now I’ll never get to repay the favours… He was one in a million and there isn’t another soul out there that could take the place of him. I love you Danny and thank you for everything, I’ll miss you forever.”13

He took another glance at the coffin and stepped down. There were a few more of his friends that got up and spoke about Danny, some with tales he had done while being at college, along the same lines as Tony. Everyone loved him even Katie knew that.14

It was now Charlie’s turn, she got up placed her white rose along with the others, and she stood with her hand on the coffin just staring. After a few minutes she turned to face everyone.15

“Children aren’t meant to go before their parents, that’s always been the way I have seen it. We go leaving our legacy with them and they carry it on and then pass it on to their own when the time comes. Danny will never get the chance to do so, why does someone special have to be taken away from us? Is it a test of faith, or paying us back for something we have done either in this life or our past lives. It just isn’t fair he had to be taken away so young.” At this point the tears were streaming that Charlie could barely see the room full of people. “It just isn’t fair, I’ll never get to hold him again, I’ll never be able to see that sparkle in his eyes, I’ll never get to tell him how much I love him and how proud he has always made me.  Danny was everything to me, and now I am left with nothing, only memories and to some it might seem like enough, but to anyone who had the chance to get to know Danny for who he really is will understand what I am saying. When he was a child and fell over, I could make it right, by cleaning it or rubbing it better or kissing it better, and everything would be fine again. Or a few simple words would be all it took. If I was sad or down or had troubles all it took was one hug or one smile from him and the world seemed a brighter place, who will make my world bright now he has gone? I’m going to miss you Danny, and I know we’ll meet again one day, I just wish you were with us now. You’re the heart of me and always will be, I’ll love you always and you’ll always be my baby boy.” The room was quiet you could hear people crying you could feel the sadness. Charlie stepped down and went over to Katie and held onto her tight.16

Charlie let go of Katie’s hand as she walked towards to coffin, it was now her turn to speak, and she was the final one to talk.17

She approached the coffin and turned round to speak to the crowd, “I want to play a song for Danny, it was our song and I just want him to know I’ll always love him. It was one of his favourites Brian Adams – Heaven.” The music began, and the words came across mixed with heavy heaves and sobs. Katie stood there with her head bowed until it finished tears hitting her shoes. “That was one of his songs, one of our songs and I’m going to miss him more than words will ever say. Danny was my life, my love, and my best friend. No matter what we were one, and still will be. I’ve been sitting all night trying to think of what to say today and I came by the words in the early hours of this morning, but still it doesn’t say what I need to say. I guess like I have already said I will never find them. I wrote this for Danny, what I am about to say.18

I spoke softly that night you were taken away,19

Begged for forgiveness, wished you could stay. 20

I sat with my broken heart, soul and thought,21

Recounted smiles you once had brought.22

I whispered I’d miss you; I’ll keep you near,23

As I was about to face my one and only fear,24

You lay there softly slipping from my life,25

A soul now free from turmoil ands strife.26

A radiant life so fun loving and so kind,27

A rarity so hard to come by or find, 28

But I had the chance to love you forever,29

And to give away that love I shall never.30

You gave me much more than love and smiles,31

Travelled with me through hard times, many miles.32

I’ll never get the chance again to see your face,33

As you’re now far away in eternal grace.34

So please look over me and keep me near,35

As I have had to already face my only fear…36

Which was losing you…37

I listened to a song before Danny sadly passed away and I just wanted to share some of the lyrics with you all.38

Goodbye’s the saddest word I’ll ever hear39

Goodbye’s the last time I will hold you near40

Someday you’ll say that word and I will cry41

It’ll break my heart to hear you say goodbye42

That is a song by Celine Dion, Well, I never got the chance to say goodbye properly, I never got the chance to hold him the way he should have been. Now my heart is broken and this is the only way I’ll ever get to say goodbye. But it is never goodbye, it is farewell for now, and I’ll see you on the other side baby. I love you. I wish I had him here with me, I know that he’ll always be with me in spirit, but sometimes that isn’t good enough.43

I’ll miss you always Danny, for eternity… I love you.”44

As they were leaving the church they played Danny boy, the sobs got louder and faster it was the end of a life, not only his but Katie could feel hers slipping away also.45

That night Katie picked up the bottle of sleeping tablets the doctor had given her the night Danny died, she hadn’t taken any and hadn’t slept, but tonight she felt the need, she didn’t want to think anymore, she didn’t want to feel anymore even if it was only for a short time. She had to do something. She sprayed some of Danny’s aftershave on his pillow and dressed in one of his favourite shirts, took some pills and lay down holding the his pillow… She quietly sang the last chorus of Danny boy in her head…46

“And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me47

And all my dreams will warm and sweeter be48

If you'll not fail to tell me that you love me49

I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.”50

She gently started to fall asleep, just as she was singing the last line “I'll simply sleep in peace until you come to me.” She heard Danny’s voice; she just made out what he said. “Always with you.” 51

The end.52