Magic Dream

She closed her eyes and shut her mind off to all thoughts and tragedies the day in the city had caused her. To allow herself to be free to the unlimited imagination of her dreams. Dreams where the bruises covering her arms vanished and the sickness inside of her receded. The moments before dawn woke her, she experienced the dream of purple skies and magenta clouds. 1

The first image that imprinted on her mind were the dark hues of purple—soft like lilac to dark like blue-violet. Baby pink fluffs floated from the corners, darker and darker until magenta faded into pink once more, as a bright blue full moon drifted into the sky. Sparkles of green twinkled, one by one, until a galaxy of stars blended into the scene. 2

The girl took a step forward to further investigate this new world, and found that there was no steady floor beneath her. She walked on giving ground that felt like soft thick fur. The air crackled with an enigmatic pulse that seemed to have no source.3

It didn’t feel like a dream, but reality. A reality with purple skies and magenta clouds. 4

A child-like voice giggled in her ear and she turned to face a small human form. Dark purple skin and twinkling lilac eyes with sparkles, and graceful transparent wings protruded from the back. The faerie had pointed ears and tiny ringlets of navy blue hair to the shoulder. Round bone structures and shadows hinted at innocence and magic. 5

The girl gasped and pulled back. Dream or no dream, she had never read of or looked upon a creature as beautiful as this. 6

The faerie giggled and smiled. Cocking its head to the side, it studied her before it turned and fluttered away. The translucent wings sparkled with glitter, and beat gently to keep the small body in the air. -Follow me.- 7

A whisper of compulsion raced down the girls back and she followed the faerie. Sparkles of magic rained from the wings, leaving a trail on the soft ground that didn’t exist. 8

The faerie went faster, and the girl began to run. Together, they ran through the magenta clouds and past a clutter of faeries that resembled the first. Some of the group giggled and followed along with the human girl, others stayed and watched in joy. The purple faerie twirled acrobatically, the followers mimicked the moves a moment later. It was like a dance. 9

Here, on this plane of existence, the girl didn’t tire from running. No stitch came to her side, her legs didn’t ache. She felt as if she could run for miles without losing her breath. So she kept on running, forgetting everything. She forgot the real world, where bills would be paid and where betrayers laid. Even the faeries following her were quickly forgotten in the joy of the moment. 10

Hate, jealousy, lies, anger, pain, despair; things that didn’t exist here. It was bliss to a girl who had suffered far too much in her young life. 11

A large light pink cloud was nearing. She ran through without thinking, the giggles fading until only the blue-haired leader was left. The faerie flashed a smile at the girl and continued forward. 12

She began to notice changes in the color of the cloud around her—it was still pink, but changing, becoming greener with each step, blending into each other until the green became solid. The green became leaves with glistening dewdrops and rough bark beneath. 13

A thin dirt path not more than two feet wide raced under the girl’s feet now, the faerie now gone, having faded as the pink in the cloud. Few warm sunrays made it past the thick green foliage above, changing the girl’s sprints to a slow walk. 14

The girl began to hear the rush of a stream, along with the gentle pounding of hooves on grass and rock. A strange feeling blended in the air—not the same as the violet haven, not soft, but cold and gentle. 15

With each step she took, the noises became louder. She took a step onto a grass-covered section, and the world around her changed once more. In front of her now was a clear stream splashing through a large circle of bright green grass. Trees surrounded the hauntingly dark area, but just caused a magical sense floating in the air. Almost as if to reach out, strands of magic would be captured in the girl’s hand. The sources of magic came from the two large white fur bodies behind the stream. 16

The creatures looked like horses in their prime. Fur, so white it blinded. One with hair so gold it shined as if it were pure, the other startling silver like a clean knives edge. Sweeping tails and off-colored ocean waves strands, unearthly-beauty incarnate. Foot long spirals leapt from their foreheads in the color of their full mane, ending in sharp points of needles. 17

The golden unicorn turned and met the girl’s eyes, staring with no fear but surprise. It nudged the silver unicorn and they both turned their gazes on the young girl. 18

Hesitantly, they took their first step into the shallow stream, feet splashing gently in the crystal clear water. Within seconds they were inches from the girl, their single horns inches within the others as they studied the human. The male neighed and bobbed its head at his mate and took the steps and turns to offer his back to the girl. 19

The girl stared in awe and mounted the groves of the back. They fit like any other horse, just more power and grace seemed to lace the muscles and contours. She embraced the warm neck to remain seated. The mystical creature began with easy walks and began to speed, until the green and blues and the other unicorn were nothing but blurs in the girl’s peripheral vision. 20

As the unicorn was reaching its greatest speed, everything stopped and she opened her eyes. She was no longer in a magical place that began to become blurry with each passing second, but a girl on Earth who blended into the crowds. A victim of betrayal and drama. 21

She was tempted to lie in bed for the rest of the day and relive that beautiful, magical place--her little fairy tale in her reality. But she summoned all of her courage and strength, and rose.22

Author notes

An old story. Wrote it when I was 14 for a contest.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Token Massacre silver member
    September 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I'm working on judging the contest, please bare with me a little while longer as technical problems have prevented me from judging

  • Ahava
    September 1, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    great job on this. it was imaginative and original. everything was so vivid and real, I could almost see it. it was amazing and a really good write. great job and thanks for giving me the opportunity to read this. keep writing...i cant wait to read more!


  • August 31, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    I thought the story was really imaginative, especially for a 14 year old. Visually in paragraph five you wrote "sharp bone structure and shadows hinted at innocence and magic", softness and simplicity is more apt to innocence. In paragraph ten, how about another insightful, emotional dilemna observed along with "betreyars" instead of " where bills would be paid". In paragraph fourteen try " the faerie now gone, having faded as the pink in the cloud." The story was very creative. I think alot of us could use journeys like that in our day to day lives. Thank you for sharing. I apologize about the spam, and will take more time to enjoy all of the talented writers at my fingertips. Thank you for the wake up call, and stay fiesty.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


    • trophy
      August 31, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      I was really young when I wrote this and am still impressed by my old self..lol.. And thank you for the critique...hope you enjoy the site.


  • Token Massacre silver member
    August 30, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    your first sentence is an extremely long run on sentence.
    21 and 22 can be combined. it's an enjoyable read

  • Token Massacre silver member
    August 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    "were the" dark hues
    comma after baby pink,
    is follow me a thought? ' ' marks or italics would work better
    comma after fur. I'd use a fullstop after blinded
    the word "nearly" before inches isn't necessary
    "through"
    this is sweet. Is the little girl sick? is that why she is able to run without pain?

    • trophy
      August 30, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. I went through and edited things and changed the ending...seems a lot better now.
      And yeah..she was sick.

  • Ravette silver member
    August 29, 2006

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I really like Paragraph 2 very nice imagery!

    In Paragraph 13 dewdrops is one word.
    In Para 14 sunrays is also one word

    This was a great story! Everything was very vivid and came dancing off the pages.

    Good luck in this contest I think you have a good chance at top honors.

    beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, characters: 4.

1 - 8 of 8