Bitter [Part 6]

So far, I have intentionally left out a vital side of my life.1

I never meant to go into details about her. This story was purely meant to be about the two boys…but it’s grown into something that you can’t just look at from one angle. You need the entire puzzle, not just the pieces. 2

Why, you might ask. Because this girl and I have such a history that it would take a novel by itself to explain the imperative depths.3

We knew of each other since Kindergarten. Went to the same elementary, junior high, but then I moved and went to a different high school.4

She was first Amber’s friend—Amber, my best friend since those Kindergarten days. I didn’t talk to her until eighth grade, after most of the childhood drama had occurred and I needed people close to me. She was there. We became close.5

Freshman year she told me that she had sexually touched my brother-in-law. I hated her for over a year.6

At this time I was in a relationship, so I never realized the importance of the girl in my life. The fact that she was identical to me never fazed my decision to avoid her.7

Truth be told, the girl went wild. She partied all night. She lost her virginity in a one-night stand. She ended up in the hospital from a drug overdose and had her stomach pumped.8

I knew all this through Amber, yet I still refused to contact her.9

The boyfriend I had, she helped me get. I was with him for two and a half years, starting before the girl and I split, and ending right after we became friends again.10

One night I was alone and all I wanted to do was see the girl who made me so vengeful. I drove to her house, walked up to the door, and knocked. 11

Her mom was ecstatic and let me in immediately. “Allison! You’ve come to see Christina?” she asked as she skipped to her daughter’s room.12

“Sorry if I shouldn’t have just showed up…” I began.13

“No! It’s a good thing.”14

When she opened the door, my heart was stuck in my throat and I was scared. Scared of what could have happened going into that room after a year. Would she scream at me for abandoning her? Or would she embrace me as an old friend and love me until I was a whore like her?15

She was in bed, the lights off, and when she saw me I could see the naked surprise in her brown eyes. And the affection.16

We became good friends again; that year apart seemed non-existent. I broke up with my boyfriend shortly after that and started smoking, drinking, and hanging out on weekends. I slept with boys who I had known my entire life, and some I met the week before.17

It took a year for us to get to the party scene this story incorporates.18

The reason I speak of Christina now is the fact that her perspectives of life changed at this point of time in my story. Before now, she had been a whore who lingered in the background and was essential to the party scene. She was regularly seeing Ryan’s cousin, as well as two other boys in our group—intimately. But it didn’t mean I loved her any less.19

On Tuesday night, she went home with me and spent the night. We talked for a good hour.20

“I’m going to change my life,” she said.21

I remained quiet, waiting.22

“It’s so funny, Allie, how I can be near you and pick up on your mood without even looking at you…” She rambled some about this; I knew she was drunk. “I’m hoping you can do the same for me, because you’re going to be with me while I try making my life better.”23

It was true, though. She could read me from ten feet away and nail my emotions on the dot. And I could do the same thing back; I just tried not to let her know how well I knew her.24

“I know how much you like Ryan.” 25

Ok, interesting way to go…26

“And you know I care about Will.” His cousin. “But one of us is always good, and the other is always bad… I want you to be happy.”27

Wow.28

She kept on going, too. “I’m going to make sure I get a job and start college. I’m scared to grow up, but I know I have to. You guys adapted so well and I was too spoiled.”29

What she meant by that: in June, we all graduated from high school. Amber and I both had jobs once summer started. We also both planned to move away to Long Beach for college, leaving Christina by herself.30

Then I was bribed into going to a closer school and commuting, so it was Amber going off by herself instead. Christina wasn’t even registered for classes yet.31

Amber left us the next day for Long Beach. 32

Christina and I became dependant on each other to an extent. We needed each other; we’d both lost a best friend. So we were with each other every day and night, partying with the same crowds, and she amended things with Will.33

She had predicted that in my room that night, though. She had known we would rely on each other in the time to come to an unforgettable extent.34

That’s the only reason I remembered her.35