Veyta awoke that morning from a wonderful dream she had had that night. It had been of that boy Dravyn she had met at the park. Just thinking of him sent shivers of pleasure and excitement up her spine. Somehow, though he had hardly spoken to her, he seemed so different from any other person she had ever met before. He also didn’t seem seventeen, though he of course looked to be that age. There was just a presence about him that seemed older somehow. She shrugged this thought off. That was ridiculous. Of course he was seventeen! She thought to herself.1
She remembered then the fight her parents had had last night and wondered if her mother had come home yet. She got dressed and went downstairs cautiously. She peeked out the window to see if her mother’s car was there, but it wasn’t. She felt hurt that her own mother had just taken off and left her here alone with her father. What kind of a mother did that to their daughter? She didn’t particularly care about either one of her parents, after all they just hit and yelled at her, never caring what happened to her, but she couldn’t help but feel uncared for.2
After eating breakfast she walked to the park, carrying her sketchbook and pencil in a small bag. She loved to draw and had a natural skill to be able to draw anything her eyes saw, or even if she just pictured something in her mind. She liked to go into the park and sit on the swings or on the grass under a shady tree and just picture something and then she would begin to sketch it. 3
Today the swings were taken by running children so she climbed into her favorite tree and sat on the branch that was strangely shaped into a chair and where she could just lean back on a higher branch without having to worry about falling. She held her sketchbook in her lap and her hand just started moving with the pencil. She herself didn’t even know what she was drawing until it was nearly done. It was Dravyn. She marveled at the picture for a moment, thinking of how it didn’t even compare to the real Dravyn. His ice blue eyes, for one, were much more knowing, as if he could stare right into her and see every thought she was thinking.4
Just then, as if he had known she was thinking about him, he appeared on the ground below her, grinning up at her. Though he was a vampire, he could still go out on cloudy days like this. Strong sunlight, however, could burn him very badly. 5
Slightly startled but pleased, she tried to suppress a smile.6
“Hi. You left awfully fast last night,” she said questioningly.7
The smile never leaving his lips he answered coolly, “I had things to attend to.”8
Veyta climbed carefully down from the tree but slipped on a branch and fell to the ground. She let out a small scream, preparing herself to land hard on her back. She was still pretty damn high. Instead of landing on the ground however, she found herself in Dravyn’s strong arms. She stared up at him, shocked. If it had been anyone else they would’ve fallen from the force of her weight, but not him. He put her down, as if sensing her mixed up thoughts. 9
“Are you OK?” he asked.10
She nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks,” she said. “How old are you?” she asked casually.11
The question startled him. “Seventeen,” he answered, sounding puzzled. “Why? Do I not look seventeen?” he said, speaking like that purposely.12
She laughed at herself, feeling foolish. “Yes, you do. Its’ just, I don’t know, you seem, much older somehow,” she replied.13
“How so?” he asked. He really did want to know how a mere mortal girl could recognize that he was different from other seventeen-year-old boys. He hoped she wasn’t too clever, because whether he cared for her or not, if she found out what he really was; a vampire, while he didn’t want her to know, then he would kill her, no matter how much he didn’t want to.14
“Well, I don’t know. I can’t explain it really,” she finished lamely.15
He sensed she was telling the truth and knew nothing more about him so he relaxed and asked, “Would you like to join me for lunch?”16
She grinned and nodded.17
A little while later they sat side by side after finishing light lunch at a small café. He had his arm around her and she found herself wishing he would kiss her. He was so hot with a rich brown color hair and his ice blue eyes that bore into her. He was so calm about everything and cunning. They had talked a lot while they ate and he even let himself tell her some things about him. As if reading her mind he leaned in to kiss her. It was short but passionate. She found herself wanting to kiss him more, and Dravyn found that he wanted the same thing. They kissed again for a longer time and she slipped her tongue into his mouth. Pleasure flooded him. His feeling for her grew even higher. Finally she had to pull away for breath, her cheeks flushed. He smiled at her in that sexy way and she felt her stomach do a somersault. Dravyn nearly felt the same way as she smiled back at him pleasurably. He’d never allowed himself to feel this way about a human before, except once. He had even told her what he was, but she feared him for it and never wanted to see him again. That had been four centuries ago.18
Veyta noticed the change in his mood and asked, “What’s wrong?”19
He stood up, deciding once again that it was time for him to leave. He quickly kissed her once more on the lips and then was gone. Veyta was left wondering when she’d see him again, and why he always left in such a hurry whenever she asked him about himself or something that was bothering him.20
She remembered then the fight her parents had had last night and wondered if her mother had come home yet. She got dressed and went downstairs cautiously. She peeked out the window to see if her mother’s car was there, but it wasn’t. She felt hurt that her own mother had just taken off and left her here alone with her father. What kind of a mother did that to their daughter? She didn’t particularly care about either one of her parents, after all they just hit and yelled at her, never caring what happened to her, but she couldn’t help but feel uncared for.2
After eating breakfast she walked to the park, carrying her sketchbook and pencil in a small bag. She loved to draw and had a natural skill to be able to draw anything her eyes saw, or even if she just pictured something in her mind. She liked to go into the park and sit on the swings or on the grass under a shady tree and just picture something and then she would begin to sketch it. 3
Today the swings were taken by running children so she climbed into her favorite tree and sat on the branch that was strangely shaped into a chair and where she could just lean back on a higher branch without having to worry about falling. She held her sketchbook in her lap and her hand just started moving with the pencil. She herself didn’t even know what she was drawing until it was nearly done. It was Dravyn. She marveled at the picture for a moment, thinking of how it didn’t even compare to the real Dravyn. His ice blue eyes, for one, were much more knowing, as if he could stare right into her and see every thought she was thinking.4
Just then, as if he had known she was thinking about him, he appeared on the ground below her, grinning up at her. Though he was a vampire, he could still go out on cloudy days like this. Strong sunlight, however, could burn him very badly. 5
Slightly startled but pleased, she tried to suppress a smile.6
“Hi. You left awfully fast last night,” she said questioningly.7
The smile never leaving his lips he answered coolly, “I had things to attend to.”8
Veyta climbed carefully down from the tree but slipped on a branch and fell to the ground. She let out a small scream, preparing herself to land hard on her back. She was still pretty damn high. Instead of landing on the ground however, she found herself in Dravyn’s strong arms. She stared up at him, shocked. If it had been anyone else they would’ve fallen from the force of her weight, but not him. He put her down, as if sensing her mixed up thoughts. 9
“Are you OK?” he asked.10
She nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks,” she said. “How old are you?” she asked casually.11
The question startled him. “Seventeen,” he answered, sounding puzzled. “Why? Do I not look seventeen?” he said, speaking like that purposely.12
She laughed at herself, feeling foolish. “Yes, you do. Its’ just, I don’t know, you seem, much older somehow,” she replied.13
“How so?” he asked. He really did want to know how a mere mortal girl could recognize that he was different from other seventeen-year-old boys. He hoped she wasn’t too clever, because whether he cared for her or not, if she found out what he really was; a vampire, while he didn’t want her to know, then he would kill her, no matter how much he didn’t want to.14
“Well, I don’t know. I can’t explain it really,” she finished lamely.15
He sensed she was telling the truth and knew nothing more about him so he relaxed and asked, “Would you like to join me for lunch?”16
She grinned and nodded.17
A little while later they sat side by side after finishing light lunch at a small café. He had his arm around her and she found herself wishing he would kiss her. He was so hot with a rich brown color hair and his ice blue eyes that bore into her. He was so calm about everything and cunning. They had talked a lot while they ate and he even let himself tell her some things about him. As if reading her mind he leaned in to kiss her. It was short but passionate. She found herself wanting to kiss him more, and Dravyn found that he wanted the same thing. They kissed again for a longer time and she slipped her tongue into his mouth. Pleasure flooded him. His feeling for her grew even higher. Finally she had to pull away for breath, her cheeks flushed. He smiled at her in that sexy way and she felt her stomach do a somersault. Dravyn nearly felt the same way as she smiled back at him pleasurably. He’d never allowed himself to feel this way about a human before, except once. He had even told her what he was, but she feared him for it and never wanted to see him again. That had been four centuries ago.18
Veyta noticed the change in his mood and asked, “What’s wrong?”19
He stood up, deciding once again that it was time for him to leave. He quickly kissed her once more on the lips and then was gone. Veyta was left wondering when she’d see him again, and why he always left in such a hurry whenever she asked him about himself or something that was bothering him.20
Author notes
please tell me what u think, i know it sux but if u read this please leave a comment, i wanna know how i can make it better! thanks
~karinn
I commented on The Painting and You
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Still going strong, I think. As for areas of improvement, I didn't see anything that really needed work, except in some areas it seemed a little choppy. Maybe you could add a bit more descriptiveness to it. I like this story so far, I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next.
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I really enjoyed this piece! You've caught my weakness: I LOVE vampire stories! *sigh* I think I will be reading Ch. 1 and any other Ch's you have posted! It's a very subtle yet passionate love that these 2 characters share and it's lovely to read about! Continue to write! Good luck in the contest!
<3Adriann -
Minor adjustments needed like saying what two works you commented on in your comments. But i went back and read the rest of this series Very well done. Good luck in the contest and thank you for joining.
*~OD~* -
So far I am really liking this story. You are really a great author. Great job at catching my interests.
~kristie -
Ya it was me dj he gave me his thing remember..............uh if he rights anything I'll tell him to put hise name arter it or just say its not me so noone gets counfused
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lol!! thanx 4 the nice compliment...was this D.J. or his friend?? sry, i dont know remember ur name cause im a dumbass...anyways thanx 2 whoever it is, haha, bye
~confusedevryday -
It rocks
This was HELLA GOOD TOO!! I used my last aplading things on your storyes................ah well it was woth it -
ok. wow. ok. i need to read the next one. you do have such a great talent for writing. well im gonna go read the next one now.
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this is good! omg karinn, i hate you, you have the gift to write, i dont, mine all suck like whores!.... ok, bye - alisha
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:: smiles:: thanks, its nice 2 know that some1 likes somethin that i write...i'll have the next chapter on march 10 (tomorrow) thanks for the compliment, i love 2 hear ppls comments!
~confusedevryday -
Great job. I think it'd be easier to read if you put it in way shorter paragraphs.
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PLESE KEEP WRITING AND HURRY!!I LOVE THIS!
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Nice blend of time periods and realities. Look inside both their heads.. nice mystery feeling.. good work
1 - 13 of 13


