Coming Home

The bitter violence spills onto the grimy gravel driveway. I refuse to go any closer to the small rural shack that my family now lives in. They are 1

fighting again, wonderful. Welcome home me! Couldn't they keep their pathetic quarrel to themselves just this once? After all, it's not everyday their little girl comes home. After twenty-one years of listening to the 2

screams, you'd think I'd be used to it but no, it still rips me up inside.When I was little, I would crawl into the space behind my closet and pretend that my life was normal. A gentle, soft-spoken mother to bake me chocolate chip cookies. A mother to kiss away my hurts when something bad happened. A father to carry me to my pretty pink princess room when I was too tired to walk there. Most little girls dream of ponies and princes but I dreamed of quiet. No dishes shattering on the wall, no quiet thuds of fist hitting flesh, no doors slamming and no weeping. I just dreamed of the quiet.3

With a deep sight, I approach the door and softly tap. A woman with deep purple bruises on her face and arms opens the door. Her cobalt blue eyes remind me of those black holes that the teachers talk about in science class, void and hopeless. I inherited those eyes, only mine are cobalt blue embers of anger.4

"Danny! I didn't expect you for another hour." she's breathlessly states as her hand flutters to her bruise.5

"Run into another door Mom?" I sneer. A tormented look mars her features for a moment and I instantly feel bad. Is it really her fault that she was 6

taught that it’s a woman's place to lay down and take it? "My train ran early. Aren't you going to invite me in?"7

"Oh honey, I'm so happy to see you. It's been too long, baby." She smiles and steps back from the door to let me in.8

My eyes immediately scan the front room for my bastard of a father. A smile briefly touches my lips and I step in and set my bags by the door.9

"Keith leave? I thought I heard him as I came up?"10

"Oh no, he just stepped out for a minute or two. You know how he is, just needs a private moment to himself." Mom smiles and grabs my bags to drag 11

them into the spare bedroom. "Honey, go ahead and grab yourself something to drink.12

My smile slips but I force it back just for Mom. I slowly make my way into the kitchen to grab a coke. I wrap my hands around the can and try to focus on the way the coldness bites at my skin. The back porch door opens behind me. My body tenses as the heavy footsteps approaching.13

"Ain't you gonna give your pa a kiss, girl?" a deep slightly slurred voice demands.14

I turn and press myself against the counter and my chest tightens. I can only stare at the husky hulk of a man standing in front of me. This is my father, wait sorry stepfather, not my real dad, never my real dad. Just the impostor that replaced a man I can't even remember after he was killed by a drunk driver. Funny how life can turn out a drunk murdered my father 15

and a drunk ruined my once vivacious mother.16

"Hello Keith, how are you?" I quietly ask as I avoid all physical touch. Just the thought of him touching me makes me desperately sick.17

My mom walks into the kitchen and wraps an arm around Keith's thick waist. Keith just shrugs her away and staggers out of the room. I quickly take a drink of my coke to wash away the disgust from the back of my throat. Mom hustles to the sink to start washing vegetables for dinner. I walk to the sink and lay my hand on her back.18

"Why don't you leave him? Can't you see what this shit is doing to you?"19

" Stop Danny! Just stop, I love Keith and he provides for me. You know I can't work anymore."20

"Provides? That's how you define your relationship and you don't see anything wrong with that at all? I already told you that you could come live 21

with me until we can find something for you to do. Or what about the women's crisis center? They would take you in. I mean jesus Mom, look at the bruises on your face. How can you even stand it? He's a mean drunk who beats the shit out of you every chance he gets. "22

"That’s enough young lady. I won't have you badmouth him in this house. Do you understand me?" she snarls in defense of her way of life.23

“Yeah I know, He’s god right Mom?" I mutter as I stomp to the spare bedroom.The door creaks open behind me. The smell of booze wafts into the room as Keith steps into the room and shuts the door behind him. He leans against the door silently staring at me. His cold gray eyes raking over my body with lecherous intent.24

"Can I help you?" I ask warily.25

"Mean drunk am I? Not very nice ta talk about your pa that way." he slurs.26

"Haven't you ever been told that ease dropping isn't polite?" I ask hesitantly. I edge my hand towards my purse when he takes a step closer. 27

Keith sneers and lunges for me. Grabbing my arm, he28

throws me on my back on the bed.29

"God damn bitch, gotta teach you a lesson." he slurs again as he reaches for his the buttons on his pants.30

I quickly reach for my purse laying near me and grope inside. My fingers encounter a cold metal object. I pull it from the purse and jab it into Keith's ribs as he starts to straddle me. With a strange gurgling sound, he slurps off to the side. Crying, I push him away from me and just stare. Is he dead? Oh, god what do I do? Mom runs into the room screaming at me to get out of the house but I'm frozen. A drunk murdered my father and a drunk ruined my once vivacious mother. A drunk murdered my father, a drunk ruined my once vivacious mother and I killed the drunk. Funny how life comes full circle sometimes.31