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I dont want to bore you, and since I insist on writing about an extremely dull subject, I will forewarn you on the topic, which is lonliness. How incredibly polite of me.1

Im so god damn lonely, and pardon me for my language. You see, its been two years since Ive had a relationship. Sure, Ive been with boys in the meantime but never a chase a boy, then get the boy, and go out on dates, and hold hands while making your friends sick at the sight of you relationship.2

I never wanted it. While I did, but I could wait. There was a contentness in my state where I was perfectly fine lusting over boys but those days have ended. And recently, Im so god damn lonely I cant take it.3

Theres something about boys though that just makes it harder than it should. Theyre so god damn uninteresting. The attractive ones never have much to say and the funny ones just make good friends. 4

I want someone insightful. And passionate. Someone who doesnt just drink or smoke or if they do, dont spend the conversation talking about it.5

But do you know what really gets me? Oh, it just kills me. all I can do is wait. You cant just go looking for love, and I guess, thats what I am looking for.6

A fall head over heels, spend hours getting dolled up f or, talk all night, get chills when he touches you sort of thing.7

Oh, it just kills me.8