the uprising of Simone Johnson (ch. 2)

Misguided angels will fall1

must you push them 2

down further3

exploit their ignorance,4

Demons, why must5

you clip their wings6

and convict7

them innocent 8

to the house of Lucifer9

*******10

The house they led me to as the sun got ready to bless the world with light was run down. Old, boards nailed almost every window shut, the dingy white paint was chipped almost completely off, junk lay in the backyard if you could call the grass growing out of the concrete a backyard and overall it looked as if it had been abandoned for years. I lay my little head there in close watch of Precious, one of the hookers that picked me up from the street, on a mattress on the floor in one of the many upstairs rooms of a crack house.11

It took time, but I got used to living there the people, the strange men, the crack heads constantly lingering around asking shamelessly for change, and even the few possessions I had disappearing. I liked it nonetheless. There I smiled and laughed more then I ever had. I went outside and played with the other kids, chased boys around the block, gossiped with the other girls, got into fights, and stole candy from the corner store. 12

Precious for some reason felt an obligation to take care of me, she definitely didn’t have to, being a 21-year-old prostitute, living in a crack house she was barely taking care of herself. 13

Me and Camie, an older girl whose momma bought regularly sat on the porch one day after school. Camie was 14, she called me her daughter. I couldn’t understand why she wanted a daughter at that age, but I went along with it always. 14

So we sat out on the back porch looking to the alley way where boys rode there bikes all the time. She told me to watch her because she’d show me how to get a man, but she had no idea that I’d done way more then she could imagine. Even then I felt this overwhelming hate for her because she didn’t appreciate what she had and that I by no choice of mine had lost. I even understood it at six and seven, but…15

“Camie, come here!” demanded the boys, but she wouldn’t go she’d stay there on the porch and whisper, “Don’t always do what a nigga tells you to. You got to play hard to get.”16

So they’d come to her, hug up on her, get a nice feel, and then maybe talk. “He’s going to be your new Daddy Monie.”17

“Yea” this dude would say and giggle and try to hug me. I’d always wince and hide behind her. One guy one day said, “Why you scared of your Daddy?”18

I was mad, “Your not my Daddy, butt face!”19

His friend laughed, “She probably wants you to be her girlfriend.” 20

“Yea she does,” he said and grabs me, hugging me really close.21

“Awww,” Camie says, “she’s got good taste like her momma. You should go around the corner and give her a kiss.”22

I didn’t want to go, but having been forced to do so many things before I figured it wouldn’t make much difference to fight with him. I knew what he wanted or I thought I knew. We got around the corner of the house and he looked at me and smiled. 23

He might have had good intentions, just a little peck on the cheek, but I was naďve and misguided so I didn’t know what good intention meant. I reached towards his cotton shorts and fondled him. He didn’t know how to respond to it, but he couldn’t fight instinct and after seconds relaxed, leaning against the wall. 24

He unzips his pants and takes his penis out. I do what Daddy taught me, but I enjoy it this time with this boy. 25

I’m guessing we had been back there a long time because Camie came around the corner. “Get off of him!!”26

She jerked me away so fast that I almost bit him. She drug me to the porch where Precious and another girl stood. I tried to explain it, but she was hysterical and not listening.27

“Precious!!” she screams, “He raped her! He raped her!”28

Precious grabbed me by both wrist and looked me dead in the eye, “Simone what the hell happened?”29

“He said he wanted to be my Daddy. I only wanted to…”30

Precious was crying, something I’d never seen, “Your Daddy made you do that?”31

I nodded then said, “I wanted to though.”32

“You don’t do that. Its wrong and nasty. Now go in the house and take a bath.”33

I went, but after getting in the door I looked back and saw Precious slap Camie in the face. Camie wouldn’t let me get near a boy after that, but she didn’t have to play birth control because after what Precious told me I always felt wrong and nasty around a guy. 34