Dravyn walked over to his next victim, flashing the young girl a sexy smile. She batted her eyelashes at him and he beckoned her to follow him behind the building. The girl barely hesitated and as soon as they were safely away from other humans she was forced against the wall and he sank his fangs into her neck, trying to make it as painless as possible. She barely struggled as the life soon flowed out of her and into him. He lifted his head when he had finished and licked his lips, getting every last drop of blood.1
When he had had his fill for the night Dravyn went around the area for a walk. He spotted a girl who would be around the age that he looked, seventeen. For some strange reason this girl fascinated him, though he couldn’t explain even to himself why. Perhaps it was because she looked so sweet and innocent, or because she was out so late at night. Either way, he followed her to the park. She kept glancing over her shoulder as if she could sense his presence behind her, which was another reason she interested him. Most humans were too dense and never paid him any mind, despite the strange vibes some of them felt.2
He watched as she rocked back and forth in a swing, her long, rich, dark brown hair so much like his own in color blew against the wind. She kept shifting uneasy glances towards where he hid watching her. Finally when he could hold back no longer he quietly stepped out from the shadows of the trees and walked towards her. She didn’t look up until he was already standing right in front of her. A startled look passed over her face.3
“Who are you?” she asked uneasily.4
Smiling warmly, he answered, “My name is Dravyn. What’s yours?”5
Relaxing slightly she responded, “I’m Veyta.”6
“What are you doing out so late?” he asked, genuinely curious.7
She hesitated a moment, and he gave her a comforting smile, his eyes softened. She then found herself pouring out everything that had happened to her that night. How her mother and father had fought and how her mother left. Just left her with her father. Veyta’s father then started shouting at her since there was no one else, and then he had struck her across the face. Tears she had kept hidden for so long suddenly welled up in her eyes, but she refused to release them in front of Dravyn.8
Dravyn felt something that he hadn’t felt in centuries. His heart opened up to this human, but he didn’t know why. He didn’t want to let himself fall for her, but it seems he no longer had that choice. He listened as she finished her story and then she asked about him, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. He felt then that it was time for him to leave. He couldn’t tell her what he was, but he didn’t want to lie to her. She didn’t deserve to be lied to. He quickly kissed her on the cheek and in vampire speed he took off into the trees. As soon as he was out of her sight he stopped and watched her, her hand was still on her cheek. 9
After a little while she got out of the swing and turned to walk towards her home. He followed her all the way to her house until she was safely inside with the door closed. For a while longer he sat outside her house, wanting to glimpse her one last time but knew that wouldn’t be wise. He stayed there until sunrise was only an hour away, but before leaving he stood outside her bedroom window, which was on the second story, and watched her for a moment as she slept peacefully...10
Author notes
um, ya, this sux, i know...different from my others...please tell me what u think, the good (if there is any, lol) and the bad, thanks
~confusedevryday
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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thanks, i wrote this a long time ago, i like to think im a more experience writer now but im not sure...i havent written more from this in a long time
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o wow i cant wait to read the next chapter
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This was really good. You have a lot of talent, and it shows in your writing. I was impressed, and I think that I'll be reading the rest of your story... I noticed that you had through part four posted. It's always nice (well not always) to find someone else who writes vamp stories. (good ones, that is). Great job on this. Keep writing!
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You have me really captivated by this story, it's an awesome write! I'm gonna keep reading them and following up on 'em, so keep on writing lol!
~dani~ -
lol, thanks for the compliments, i like ur writes too, especially the ones with Rain...ok well byez again!
~karinn -
i like it! i am not going to mention anything bout ya age (hehe okay tat is a lie) ! lol through i was a lil shock (omg there is 13 yearold reading my stuff) lol but naw not like anymore is going to strip in the story or anything plus you seem hella cool and this is really good okay going to go more read more lol this is cool
Edited on Jun 09, 7:33 p.m. because ''. -
It was awsom!
This was hella good!!! -
I really liked this piece-- first of all I just love vampires, hehe, and plus I thought you just wrote it really well. I think in the beginning, how it kind of launched into things so quickly made it a bit awkward. Maybe a little more description about his stalking that girl, or coaxing her to go with him. But I really liked how he felt that strange connection with Veyta, and how he was kind of at odds with himself over whether or not to pursue her. Anyways, I'll stop rambling, but good story here, hope to read more of it sometime.
Renae. -
omg. im spechless right now. i just have to read the next chapter. but this doesnt suck on bit, it keeps you going, so thats why im gonna read the next one right now!
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this is good. not very vampire-ish, unlike your man -wink wink, nudge, nudge- lol, jp. but neways, this is good, now im off to read the second chapter.... heehee, vampires are my thing, and u hit home with this one. i have one myself... i dun know if i should add it. but whats with the names? creative, but weird! well neways :hugs: BYE! - alisha
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This doesn't suck. I like how you built up the suspense about what he's going to do next. Keep up the good stuff.
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