The People I'd Die For (Part 13)

Kat found that the silence in the car made her feel somewhat uneasy. It left her time to think, which she really didn't like all that much. Right then, her thoughts were the last that she wanted to hear. Her head was leaned back against the window on the left side of Amy's car, and her feet lay crossed on the remainder of the back seat. She strained her eyes to look up at the sky. There were fluffy, gray clouds forming above them. 'Rain...' Kat thought. 'This will be the first time it's rained since Jake died.'1

'Of course it is.' Kat retorted at herself. 'Jake's only been dead for less than twelve hours...' Kat closed her eyes and felt her stomach churn. Just using "Jake" and "dead" in the same sentance was almost too much to bear. She sighed a shaky sigh and folded her arms across her chest. Amy looked back at her quickly, then returned her gaze to the window on her right. Amy put her fingers of her right hand up to her mouth for a moment, then let both of her hands rest in her lap. Kat uncrossed her legs and put her left foot down on the floor of the car. Unable to find a comfortable position, she sat up in her seat and recrossed her arms.2

Brian looked at Amy and then looked back at Kat. He looked at Amy again, and then finally broke the silence. "It's 11:37 now...Any idea where we're going?"3

Kat was silent, and simply gave a shrug. It was still about three hours before they had to leave to meet Jake's parents at the airport. For now, she was just along for the ride.4

Amy, too, was quiet for a moment. After deciding that she and Kat really had nowhere to be, she thought about Brian and what he needed to do. "You should probably check in with your dad." she said, looking at Brian as he drove slowly down the lane. He nodded solemnly and turned his left blinker on.5

"He..." Brian stopped himself and thought about what he was about to say. He was going to say 'He was like another son to my dad', but he didn't want to upset Kat or Amy by talking about Jake more than necessary. 'Eventually', Brian thought, 'we're going to have to talk about him...' Amy looked at Brian with a worried and curious look. "He'll probably be awake by now." Brian said instead, figuring it would be best to leave the memories alone for now. As well as possible, anyway.6

As Brian took a left turn, heading for his house, Amy nodded and started to think. 'Brian's dad is going to be so sad. He loves...He loved all of us. I guess I'll go inside with Brian. No, that'd be intruding. But he might want to see me, and Kat too...Is she really up for seeing anyone else?' Brian took a sharp left onto his street and jerked Amy out of her thought process. Her hand tried to grab onto the dashboard, making a dull thump.7

"Sorry." Brian said without looking at Amy.8

"It's okay." Amy replied, settling back into her seat. Brian pulled into his driveway next to his car and sat for a second.9

"You guys want to come in?" he asked, a sort of nervous look on his face.10

Amy was going to let Kat decide on this one. She didn't want her to be alone in the car, or anywhere for that matter.11

"Sure." Kat said simply, staring into the back of Brian's seat.12

"I'll come too." Amy said, trying to somehow reassure Kat.13

Brian nodded and unbuckled his seatbelt. He stepped out of the car and waited on the other side for Kat and Amy to get out. They both unbuckled their seatbelts, Kat more slowly than Amy, got out of the car, and walked over to Brian. He gave them a half smile, as if to reassure them that they weren't going through this alone. They walked, one after the other, to the stoop leading up to Brian's front door, and let themselves in.14

As soon as the door was opened to the house, Amy, Kat, and Brian could hear the sizzling bacon and the grease popping underneath it in Carl's well-used skillet. Carl, in his worn out red tee shirt and jeans, was looking down at the skillet, poking and proding the bacon with his spatula. He had heard the footsteps of his son and his friends. It was a well recognized sound by then. Carl looked over his shoulder and saw the three of them in the front hallway, looking at him. They were slipping off their shoes; the normal routine before entering Brian's house. "'Morning, Brian. 'Morning, girls. Nice to see you." Carl gave them a half awake smile, and turned his attention back to the bacon. "Y'all can stay for breakfast if you like."15

Brian and Amy nodded silently in reply to Carl's offer. Kat simply stood in front of the front door with her arms crossed once again, feeling a strange sense of nakedness now that she had removed her shoes. She looked down at her socked feet, and kept her eyes glued there. 16

Kat, Brian, and Amy ventured into the kitchen slowly and unsurely, almost as if they were walking into a strange room filled with people they didn't know. The silence that had been plaguing them most of the day was there again. The three of them sat down at the square wooden table, a lack of noise eating away at everybody.17

Brian was thinking his hardest to find a place to start. So much had happened within the past fifteen hours, it almost seemed impossible to tell the whole story without missing anything.18

As if he were reading minds, Carl broke the ice and gave Brian a starting point. "So, how'd it go last night?" Carl placed the bacon strips on a white dinner plate and set the plate in the middle of the table. He took the only seat left, the one across from Brian, and looked at him expectantly while waiting for an answer.19

"It...Um...It didn't go so well, dad." Brian said, at first avoiding his father's gaze but then looking him in the eye.20

At that point, Kat would have rather knocked herself out with Carl's skillet before having to listen to this story, but she found that her sorrow had drained her of most of her energy. And so, sitting back in her chair, she let the story continue, not even raising a finger in protest.21

"Well, what happened?" Carl asked. He was figuring it was something bad. He began running possibilities through his head. 'Maybe the school accidently burned down. Nah, I would've heard about that. Maybe some kids brought booze and the teachers had to shut down the whole thing. Or maybe-'22

"Dad..." Brian began, "There was an...accident last night."23

"What kind of an accident are we talking about here, son?" Carl then gave Brian an unintentional harsh, inquiring look. 'Boy, if you did something stupid I swear to god...' he thought, getting more worried by the second. 24

"It was a drunk driving accident." Brian said solemnly. Kat winced when she heard those words, and Carl got a threatening look on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but Brian beat him to it. "No, dad, let me finish."25

Carl got a calmer look on his face and closed his mouth. He put his right arm on the table and leaned on it, waiting for Brian to continue.26

"At the prom last night, we saw Jake. He had come back for the night because he didn't want to miss senior prom with us." Brian paused for a moment and looked down at the table. He looked back up at his father and continued. "He said he had to go get something at his house-I mean his old house across the street from the school. He was walking across the road and...he was hit by a car...By a drunk driver."27

Carl's face was very serious and stone-like. His lips were a bit scrunched up and his fingers formed a loose fist. "Is Jake okay?" he asked.28

Brian shook his head. "No. He's...He's not." Brian looked down at his lap and let out a shaky sigh. He looked up at his father, tears forming in his eyes, and said, "He died around midnight in the E.R."29

Tears were now forming in Carl's eyes as well. In all of Brian's life, he had not once seen his father cry, not even when his mother left. Carl took his son's hand, his lips pursed and tears threatening to roll down his face. Brian and Carl stood up in their chairs and embraced each other for the first time in a long time. Carl's eyes were shut tightly, and he was patting Brian on the back with his oversized right hand. Brian's head was buried in his father's left shoulder, and his right hand was holding on desperatly to the back of Carl's collar, tugging his shirt down a bit.30

When Brian and Carl let go of each other, Carl took a handkerchief out of his pants pocket and wiped his eyes. Brian took a hold of the end of his shirt, lifted it up to his face, revealing some of his stomach, and did the same.31

Carl looked back towards the table and so did Brian. Still leaning back in her chair with her right arm folded over her stomach, Kat was covering her mouth with her other hand and was sobbing. Even though her eyes were tightly closed, tears were still pouring out. Hearing the story had somehow made things seem more real, and it had hit her like a brick to the head.32

Amy had her arms wrapped around Kat's shoulders and buried her head in Kat's left one. She, too, was crying. Brian walked over to where Kat and Amy were sitting and got them to stand up. He pulled them into a hug, Kat on his right side, Amy on his left. After about ten seconds, Amy and Kat calmed down and Brian let them go. They both wiped their eyes with the palms of their hands and then looked at Carl.33

"His parents are comin', right?" Carl asked.34

"Yeah, they're coming at three." Kat replied in a froggy voice.35

"Good, good." Carl said. "We'll all go and I'll drive. I don't want you kids driving in this condition."36

Brian, Kat, and Amy all nodded and silence overcame them once again. Kat had her arms crossed, and was looking down at the floor.37

"Did you kids ever find out who did this?" Carl asked with a hint of distress in his voice.38

Brian and Amy were quiet and they looked at Kat, not sure of what they should say.39

"My mother." Kat replied, her eyes glued to the ground. She felt her heart fall in shame, and found herself breathless with anxiety.40

Carl looked at Kat in complete sorrow. It was as if his faith in the human kind flew right out the kitchen window. He had even been in AA with Kat's mother about three years prior. Carl put his arm around Kat and kissed her on top of the head in a very father-like way. "I'm sorry." he said. "So so sorry."41