Secret of my Heart (Unfinished)

“Mac, are you out here?”1

“Sshh. If we’re quiet, she won’t find us.”2

I wanted so much to just smack him across the face and hope sense was knocked into him, but I found this rather amusing. I also kept in mind that being a wimp and having almost no muscle mass would not protect me if he ever decided to retaliate. He had a whole regime backing him every step of the way. 3

Mac had everything going for him, even a lifetime career of “crime fighting”. He was part of NRH, Namu Ranked Heroes. He earned the title a few years back after helping them rid the various bandits from our hometown of Luna. I almost miss the Mac from then. It’s a known fact that fame and fortune can take over a person’s life. Well, since then, everything has changed about him. All the local gyms in town have offered him a lifetime pass and, not wanting to be rude, he accepted, all of them. His look has changed a lot since then, too. He used to be a tall heavy set kind of guy with black plastic rimmed glasses and long 80’s hair metal style hair. Now, he’s grown into his weight, got rid of the glasses and cut is hair into a black Mohawk with red tips. He’s also taken to body mutilation such as millions of piercings and tons of Tattoos. Innocence has stayed in his face, though. No matter how many alterations he makes to his body, he still is the kind hearted Mac I’ve known all my life.4

“Has she left yet?” I turned my attention from Mac’s appearance to the scene in front of us. 5

“I don’t hear her.” He turns to me with a strict look in his eyes, “But we should stay low just in case”.6

A few months ago, Mac had come to me with a mission he was given and offered to let me come along. I was a little scared at first, but eventually I agreed. He told me I would need a lot of training if I were to keep up with him. Mac has always been a little egocentric, but this time he really did have a point, so for each day afterward I trained with him and became strong enough, fast enough, and a little quick witted while I was at it. Eventually the day came when we would leave our home town and head for the city of Namu and learn of the mission placed in front of us. Only one problem, our mission found its way there first.7

“Mac! I know you’re here, come fight like a man, unless you’re too scared!” The piercing sound of her voice sent shivers down my back. Her name was Septera and she was the cause of uproars all around Japan. Along with being a bit of a distraction, she was tough. Whatever her objective was, she fought for it until it happened. The NRH has lost many warriors attempting to rid the planet of her, and now it’s our turn to try.8

“She’s coming!” Mac grabbed my shirt and pulled me away from the bush only seconds before her sword mutilated the top of it.9

“Awe, where you going? I only just got here!” She jumped the bush and ran towards where we had landed.10

Thinking we were done for, I threw myself on the ground and braced for my end. Mac shrieked and fell nearby. Seconds later I felt a hand on my back. I was too scared to look up, so I wasn’t exactly sure whose hand it was, but a few minutes later I heard a voice, barley loud enough to make out, “run goddamnit, if you want to live, run.” With that, the hand fell limp on my back. Acting on blind faith, I crawled my way to my feet and took off for the town of Oki.11

“There’s nothing you can do now, my pet, nothing!” Septera’s voiced boomed through my head. If she was still alive, it meant that hand on my back was Mac’s. Mac was dead. The one person I had ever looked up to, the one person anyone ever looked up to was now gone. After running for an hour or so, I reached the tavern in Oki and threw myself onto the side of building, screaming and sobbing. Never, I will never go back there, I can’t. If I would’ve just kept an eye out for him and got the courage to actually back him up instead of hiding like the scared wimp that I am, he might’ve actually lived. 12

Ever since I was young, I was never able to stand up for anyone, not even myself. I was an outcast most of my life. Five people I have ever crossed paths with dared to take me as I was. Three left me after I graduated High School, one left after “me” was too much to handle, and the only other person is now dead. I’ve never been able to figure out why no one would ever talk to me. I’m not that bad looking, as far as I’m concerned. I’m a little on the short side, being at 5’1”, but my black hair, soft features, and medium-build could make up for that. The only odd thing about my looks is my eyes. Their color is a bright silver tint with a black accent, almost like brush strokes. I’ve always taken a fancy to them. As far as my personality goes, I’m shy, which could make it harder to get friends, but even so, there was still something about me that kept other people away. 13

I wiped my face of tears and shuffled down the road to the inn down the way. As soon as I opened the door, a man bumped into me in a hurry to leave.14

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” A sense of urgency was in his voice. He slipped past me, running down the road in the direction I had just come from. Puzzled, I walked in and made my way to the inn keeper.15

The inn keeper was a scruffy looking man with a full beard and long greasy hair. He was a heavy set man who smelled as if his body hadn’t seen a shower in a while. The yellow robe he was wearing was torn in many places and the edges were all shredded. “That’ll be three yin.” He demanded groggily. 16

“Excuse me, sir?” I asked, puzzled by his insistence. “What is three yin?”17

“The room you be wantin’. You’ve come to stay, right?” With a threatening face, he stares straight into my eyes.18

“Uh, yes, sir.”19

“Here’s yer key, three yin.” He hands me the key and falls back into the chair behind the desk, falling asleep.20

I stand there for a little bit pondering whether I should give him the money now or later. Eventually, I decided to give it to him later, and with that I started my way to my room. It turns out my room was clear on the other side of the inn on the second floor. I open the door and head straight for the bed. Although it was a crappy room, I didn’t care. With the thoughts of the day still lingering in my mind, I decided it would be best if I tried to sleep as soon as possible. I pull the covers back and slide between the sheets. As soon as I closed my eyes, I was asleep.21

“I told you, you bastard! Three yin!”22

Quickly, I threw myself upright in bed only to find the inn keeper with a battle axe waving above his head. Scared to death, I dive to the ground. He swings his axe into the mattress, shredding it in an attempt to remove it and swing again. I hastily scan the room in search of a way out. He comes at me a second time, this time with a look of determination not to miss again. Back in the corner of the room sat a chair. I leap over to it and throw it in his direction. Stumbling over the chair, he desperately reaches out to grab for me. I dodge his hand and reach the door. Throwing it open, I sprint for the front door. Locked, the inn is now closed and the door has been locked!23

“Damn you! Run, run your ass off! You’ll never see the light of day again!” The inn shook with each step the inn keeper took. Looking around for anything I could use, I spot a small window in the back of the room. I feel around my pockets to see if there is anything useful I could use. Inside my back pocket, I find a small dagger I had forgotten all about, Mac had given it to me before we left as a thanks for coming with him. I rush over to the window and begin to stab at the window in an attempt to shatter it so I could slip out.24

Dink Dink Dink. Nothing. I turn the dagger around and slam the back of the dagger into the back of the window. Dunk Dunk Smash. The glass breaks in the one spot. I throw myself into the rest in an attempt to break the rest.25

“Gotcha!” The inn keeper begins waddling his way towards me. Not stopping to think twice, I throw myself out the window, glass flying everywhere. “Never come back here again!” the inn keeper shouts to me as I crawl my way away from the inn.26

The pain was almost too much for me to bear. My hand was throbbing from the blade of the knife. The cut was too deep. I tore the end of my shirt off and tightly wrapped it around my hand. I also had cuts all over my back and glass stuck inside me. I slowly stood up and limped for the other side of the building next to the inn. Fighting back tears, I kneel down next to the wall and begin the painful process of removing the glass. One. I let out a quiet groan. Two. A tear is forced from my face. Three. Why is this happening to me? Four. Nothing is left in my life that’s good enough to keep me here. This is the end. Five. And yet I sit here healing my wounds. Six. If only I could heal my heart. Seven. The pain has grown too much for me. Eight. I glance up in a daze only to see a little girl across the street staring in my direction. Nine. Dizziness overwhelms me and the sight in front of me turns black, I reach for ten, but before I can pull it out, I fall to the ground.27

“Good morning, sir.” I looked up, shielding my eyes from the light. 28

“Where am I?” I asked her. She smiled, then turned away and walked out of the room. I scanned my surroundings, hoping for some kind of answer. The room was small and well lit. On the other side of the room sat a small rocking horse, barely big enough for a small doll. Next to it was a small table, like a night stand. On top was a picture frame with a picture of the little girl I saw and two adults I assumed to be her parents. Next to her bed was a window. I slowly sat up in bed to find that my back was not only free of glass, but bandaged as well. I also found they had replaced my improvised hand wrap, with a real bandage. Outside the window, I could see the inn I had my mishap with. I could also see the glass and blood from my body. I started to wonder if that little girl was the one who drug me back to her house, but that was ludicrous. A girl twice her size couldn’t make me budge, let alone drags me into a house, get me into a bed and bandage me up. I lay back down into the bed, a little frightened of battle axes still, but somehow I had this sense of security, like there was someone or something looking out for me.29

Outside of the door, I could hear two people talking back and forth, one of the voices I took to be the little girl, the other I assumed was the voice of her father. “He woke up a few minutes ago.” The little girl’s voice sounded reassuring.30

“How many times do we have to go through this!” The man bellowed. “You can’t help every pathetic human that crosses paths with you!”31

“He’s not pathetic, daddy. He’s a hero!” A hero? I wouldn’t call diving out a window and almost killing myself heroic.32

“How do you know that? Did he save your life?” The man’s voice seemed a little uneasy.33

“His eyes, they’re the eyes of a maiyer. Look at them, daddy. Please?” A maiyer? I’ve heard stories of them, but they were said to have been extinct for years! Legend has it that the maiyer was a group a humans with ungodly power and a second soul. That soul was shown through their eyes. I knew my eyes were special, but I never thought it was because I had a second soul!34

“They’ve been extinct for who knows how long, but if it pleases you, I’ll go and take a look.” The man opens the door to the room and struts his way to the bed. The man had a striking resemblance to the girl. His features were rough around the edges, but for the most part, she was daddy’s little girl. He put his face up to mine and stared intently into my eyes. “Well, Ill be damned. Naoki, get me my robe.”35

“Yes, sir.” The little girl bowed then took off down the hall.36

“What’s yer name, son?” The man had a unique aroma, like a mix between vanilla and vodka.37

“Sikawa, sir. Riyoki Sikawa.” The man stood up straight and let out a small sigh.38

“How old are you Sikawa?”39

“I’ll be 19 next month, sir.”40

The man looks down at me and gave me a small smile. “19. I remember when I turned 19. My dream was to become the biggest, strongest, and the best shogun there ever was.”41

“Shogun, sir?” Shoguns were always looked down upon. They were the reason the people were repressed.42

“My parents kept secrets from me told me lies. It wasn’t until I was around 30 that I learned of who I really was.”43

“And what were you, sir?”44

“A commoner. Nothing but a civilian like everyone else.” He began pacing the room. 45

“Daddy?” The little girl was standing in the doorway holding the robe, looking intently at her father. “I don’t think you’re a commoner.”46

“Thank you, Naoki.” He takes the robe from her hands and bends down to kiss her on the forehead. “Why don’t you wait in the other room while I talk with Mr. Sikawa.”47

“K.” The little girl skips off down the hall.48

“Would it be rude of me to ask of your name, sir?”49

The man looks over in enjoyment and lets out a small chuckle. “I almost forgot. The name’s Qi Yuki. You may call me Qi. Please, put this on, I’ll wash your robe.” Qi hands me the robe and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.50

I sit up and untie my obi. Little by little, I stand from the bed and remove the robe. The pain from my back shot through my body. I quickly throw the robe on and sit back down on the end of the bed. The robe wasn’t high class, but it was certainly taken care of. For a few minutes, I sat there, taking in all of the information I had received. Still mourning the loss of my friend from that night, I throw my head into my hands and begin to cry. The emotion that had been building for some time now just rushed from my head. Pain like this was much worse then any physical pain one could ever experience, and it was my entire fault. “I killed him.”51

After a few minutes went by, Qi came back into the room to pick up my robe. “If you would like, I have veal waiting on the table for you.”52

I keep my head low, in hopes to hide my tears from him. “Thank you, sir. I’ll be out soon.” He stands there silent for a moment, then turns around and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him. I’m sure he noticed my tears, he had to, they’re hard to hide inside.53

I sat on the bed for another minute or so, when my stomach starts in screaming at me. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to have a bite to eat.” I emerge from the room to be greeted by the girl and her father sitting at an old wood table eating silently. Their home was very simple, not a whole lot of detail to it. In the center of the room sat their wood table with four sturdy looking chairs around it. The walls and furniture all around the place seemed to be covered in dust, as if they hadn’t been used in years. With the lighting in the room, the clothing the girl and her father was wearing, seemed very washed out and old. I sauntered my way to the table and had a seat. The man sits his spoon down on his plate, sighs, and looks up into my eyes and asks, “Why are you here?” His eyes seemed to be filled with worry, as if I was the devil’s messenger.54

I explained to him my story and how I came to the town of Oki, and of Septera, and my friend’s death. He seemed to be soaking the whole story in like a sponge. When I had finished, his faced filled with fear, his eyes let out a heart retching scream. “Mr. Yukisan, is everything alright?” 55

He shuts his eyes and lowers his head to the floor. “Mac was my nephew, I haven’t seen him in almost three years.”56