i have a new meaning1
a new out look on life2
such wounds i suffered3
your words cut like a knife4
but then i found someone new5
someone who was always there6
yet i never saw thier face7
thier beauty so fair8
my heart was frozen9
and in a class case10
but thier words warmed me11
right down to the base12
now i finally realize13
your love was never real14
so whos the big deal?15
i have a new life 16
and some new feelings to feel....17
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Fine
Personally, I think this is something many people can relate to. I like this phrase you use: "your words cut like a knife". It describes very well the effect the words are doing to you. Here, it seems as though you are very hurt by something this person has said to you, even to the extent of feeling like it hurts physically. And the other phrase which I find interesting is: "So who's the big deal?". It triggers the reader to think, well yeah, who's the big deal there?
This is a nice way of expressing. The way you end is make you seem full of hope again, dusting up yourself after the hurt done by another. Keep it up. Keep your chin up as well.
beginning: 3, ending: 4.
-
Groovy
So feel away all you like, cause this poems seems to make me smile tonight, even though being nocturnal all night was worth it having recieved an invite, but now it's time for me to say goodnight, oh and nice poem madame.
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
-
Awesome! I love it! Its really realistic
Sorry i cant find anything else to say...But great job!
~Aurora
Adding your comment:
