She was a shadow, fluttering in the breeze. She was there, yet somehow she wasn't.1
Her eyes got wide and she dropped her books. I stooped down to pick them up. She kicked them down the hall. " Don't. " I stood. She shook her head. " You don't love me. Infatuation. " Now it was my turn to shake my head. " No, I'm serious. I love you. "2
Shadow shook her head. " No wonder...." She slapped her forehead. " It all makes sense now! Duh!!!! I knew there was something...." I quirked a brow. " Wha??? " She looked up at me. " I knew there was some reason why I felt uncomfortable with Marcus. Every time I saw you, the vibrations telling me something was wrong with Marcus got stronger. "3
Stepping back, I looked at her. Thin, but not too thin. Tall, but not too tall. Shoulder length black hair, with pink ends. ( She recently dyed it. ) She was beautiful. Beautifully weird. I reached out and put my hand on her shoulder, she didn't shrug it off. Looking into her ice blue eyes, i leaned forward, and kissed her. It was over in seconds, but it was very sweet.4
A hand grabbed my collar, and I was swung around. I stood face to face with none other than Marcus.5
Author notes
sorry it's so short..
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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by the way cute pic
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AWEsome
awesome this is so cute!! -
Thanks. I should probaly warn you that thee are three chapters before this one, so you didn't get the full blast.
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I think this is really a great write. The fact that yu're 13 with the talent you have leaves me in awe of you. I love the language you used here. I hope that the rest of this story is as good as this one and wish you luck with it, not that you need it...cuz this is amazing. Keep writing & Take care. I look forwd to seeing more of your work!
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You might feel that way because there are 3 chapters before this one...lol......
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Just wait, I'm starting a new story on here. An actualy book like thing. It's gonna be really good. It's called operation- band.
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::wrings hands:: great, loved it. the story is evolving nicely.
Meg -
ahh cliffhanger!!! totally awesome, but keep going before i explode....!
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Rich in potential and idea. Stuck in the mid
This is a bit short for a story, a bit long for a poem... It's in the realm of uncategorized things... No offense, but I think it could use some development. The characters are distant from the reader, there's not much change going on... I love the description in the second-to-last paragraph, and if you spend some time building on the characters and plot, it could be really great.
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