5
"Hey, you're that kid right?"
"...w-what?" I was slowly floating back into my body; I was coming out of my delusional high. Focusing on the image before me, I tried to get a grasp on reality.
"Did you hear me?" The cop behind the yellow tape tried reaching through my blank face. "You're...uh...Eric, right?"
He succeeded. I jerked my attention towards him. "...Erin... my name's Erin," I said slowly. I was finally back. I started to hear things I hadn't before and I could feel the breeze nip my face. It felt cold because of my dampened cheek.
"Right... you look like hell Erin. Why ya out here without any shoes?" He pointed at my feet. I had forgotten to slip shoes on when I stammered into the street in my delusion. Once he asked me about it I realized that I must have cut them walking on the jagged asphalt. They stung.
I just kind of sighed with a half smile and said, "Yeah... I guess I forgot them."
"Ya forgot em? That's pretty odd," He said with an expression of disbelief. "I think you're feet are bleeding."
I looked down at them and lifted one foot to look at the bottom. He was right; I saw him wince.
"Yikes kid, you better take care of th--" Suddenly another cop in the distance yelled in our direction and cut our little conversation short.
"Hey, Braine, stop talk'n with the kid and help us out over here!" The cops in the distance were moving something from the sidewalk into a brown van.
"Alright Erin. I'm not really supposed to be talking to you anyway." He glanced around for a second. "That's odd. There's normally a group of people that gather when we put the tape up. Curiosity and all that." He glanced at me and smirked. I didn't say anything; I just stared back at him. He probably thought he was losing me again.
He turned around and started jogging towards the other police officers but I could hear him yell, "Go home kid."
I did just that. Walking down Garrin Street hurt like hell. Each step felt like I was sticking my foot into a hole full of needles. Finally I made it back home. I didn't go to the front door but instead walked around the side and found the hose. I turned the nozzle and I washed my feet down with rushing water. The liquid was so cold it was numbing and I let the pain slip away. I turned the hose off and opened the side sliding door. We leave the air-conditioning on in the summer so I pleasantly walked into the minty kitchen. The tiles on the floor sent shivers up my spine; it felt like I was standing on a block of ice.
I felt parched so I got some water from the tap. I sloppily slurped it down and the water was dripping from my mouth and ran down my neck dampening my shirt. I didn't mind it at all. Feeling refreshed I found my way to the bathroom and opened the cabinet below the sink to find the bandages. I placed the bandages on the edge of the sink and then searched for the peroxide. I didn't find any but I did find a bottle of Witch's Hazel which I think does the same thing. My aunt always uses Witch's Hazel. When I was younger I thought she was a witch.
When I had my feet all bandaged up I went to my room and opened up my sock drawer. I sat at the edge of my bed and struggled to put them on for about 15 minutes. The damn band-aids kept coming off. After I accomplished my goal I slumped onto my bed with my arms spread out and stared at the white plaster of the ceiling. The clouds of the fair were so white; like stretched out balls of cotton floating in the sky. When I had met Juli at her house yesterday we sat on her back porch for about a half hour and drank lemonade. We stared at the clouds and tried to make out people and animals and things. She said she swore that Pony was floating in the sky and that every once in awhile when its a perfect day he'd float by to say hi to Juli. We sat there but he didn’t make an appearance. Eventually we left for the fair but for some reason I was kind of sad that Pony didn’t fly by; that was partly the reason why I wanted to win Juli that stuffed bunny doll. Where could that doll be?
I stared at the ceiling for about an hour. My eyes became tired and I could feel a yawn coming on. I took a deep breath and let out a yawn. Before I fell asleep I murmured to myself, "So it really is true then...." My eyelids forced themselves shut and I fell into the darkness.
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I woke up and was immediately greeted by the smell of something good. I sat up in my bed and turned my head to glance at the time. It was 7:19 p.m. I turned my head again to stare blankly toward the cream carpet in front of me and then finally stood up. After a little stretch I decided to follow the pleasant smell. The smell brought me to the kitchen where I found the source. My mom was stirring something in a skillet and I noticed the “Hamburger Helper” box in the trash bin. I stretched again at the foot of the kitchen and let out a yawn. I didn’t need to; I did it just to get my mom’s attention. She didn’t acknowledge my presence so I walked over to the kitchen table and sat down in one of the chairs.
“Did you get enough rest?” my mom asked as she poured some milk into the skillet. She didn’t turn to ask me she kept her attention on the stove.
I let out a little sigh and said, “…yeah.” I stared at the silverware on the table before me.
“Your dad and I left you a note this morning. Did you get it?” She bent down to a drawer on her right and pulled out a top to put on the skillet.
“Yeah… I got it. Thanks.” I started fiddling with the silverware in front of me.
My mom wiped her hands with a paper towel and threw it into the trash bin as she made her way to a chair on the left side of the table. I didn’t look at her; I just kept my attention on the silverware I was fiddling with.
I broke the silence with, “Is dad home too?”
“No, he is most likely going to stay after tonight.” Then she put her hand on mine, either in consolation or to stop my fiddling with the utensils and said, “So how are you doing? Do you need to talk? You know that your father and I are always willing to listen.”
Something in my gut sank. I didn’t feel like talking. Talking was the last thing I wanted to do. Speaking about it just made the situation more ‘real.’ I felt like if no one talked about it, then the situation didn’t exist. If we didn’t talk about it then Juli wasn’t dead. I believed this whole-heartedly.
I didn’t want to reply to her question but didn’t want to be rude either.
“I’m fine,” I said. That is the all-encompassing answer. By saying “I’m fine” I was signifying that any other questions would be unnecessary and that the conversation was at its end.
My mom picked up on my mood and decided to call a truce on the matter. “Alright, I wont ask any more questions. But we’re always willing to listen. You don’t have to keep it all inside. That’s not healthy.” With that, her hand retreated from mine and she got up to check on the skillet.
I felt like going outside for some reason--like I needed to breathe or something. So I walked over to the sliding door in the kitchen and started to crack it open when my mom said, “Dinner will be ready soon. Don’t go too far.” I didn’t say anything I just opened the door and slid out; my silence was confirmation enough. I opened the gate to our back yard and walked in. I didn’t have my shoes on just my socks and I knew they were getting dirty. I walked over to the swing set that I’ve had since I was like 10 years old. It was a little rusty and when you swung on it the whole frame moved a little but it served its purpose for the most part. I remember some friends of mine and I would try to swing as high as we could and then jump off and see who would land the farthest. I invited Juli to come over one time three years ago. She didn’t join us in swinging; she would just stand hugging the bars of the frame watching us swing back and forth. Every once in awhile she would say something but most of the time she was quiet. She was the complete opposite at school and when we made it to high school she was actually pretty popular. I guess she just felt awkward that day hanging out with us guys or maybe she was afraid of swinging. I never did ask her.
However, I didn’t feel like swinging. I just sat in one of the swings and stared off into the horizon. The sky was this beautiful pinkish-orange and the sun was this egg-yolk yellow. I stared over at the swing next to me. Juli was sitting there looking off into the distance too. She looked so beautiful with the sun reflecting from her auburn hair. The breeze lifted the strands a little and I could see the slightly tan skin of her shoulder. I felt my tears carving rivers down my cheek.
“Why wouldn’t you swing with me?” I asked her desperately, my voice cracking.
She broke her stare with the horizon and smiled at me. All I did was blink and she was gone. I felt a warm tear droplet fall onto my hand in my lap and then I stared back towards the sun. It was being swallowed by the earth. I felt like the sun was setting on my own life.
“Dinner’s ready” I heard my mom yell from the kitchen window. I wiped away my tears and made my way to the sliding door.
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