you were so kind1
you were so sweet2
my prince i thought you to be3
but as time passed 4
i grew to learn5
you were never really there6
a crush you had7
on your damn freshman8
she's not your freshman she's mine9
you always say10
i always knew11
i will always know12
that when you say you care 13
your really never there14
ive said i love you15
but now i know 16
i don't...17
Author notes
i wrote this when i relized i couldn't stand a guy...
please comment...
Comments
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Will add to my collection
Line 14, it's you're ....and Author notes....it's realized.
But, if you write poetry like i do, i don't tend to correct it. I write from the heart and it's hard for me to correct my heart. I get the feeling it's the same with you.
I see a hint of passion in your poem, but it lacks real hurt, anguish?
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5.
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It's funny I've thought the same way about a guy too. Again, very casual writing style you have here. Perhaps you could develop this a little by using some hidden meaning and clever phrases. There seems to be a lot of direct uses of words and phrases here. Though, it's always good to have this kind of thing here once in a while. I've used that phrase: "that when you say you care, your really never there" before in one of my poems too. What a nice coincidence. Keep it up
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