never there

you were so kind1

you were so sweet2

my prince i thought you to be3

but as time passed 4

i grew to learn5

you were never really there6

a crush you had7

on your damn freshman8

she's not your freshman she's mine9

you always say10

i always knew11

i will always know12

that when you say you care 13

your really never there14

ive said i love you15

but now i know 16

i don't...17

Author notes

i wrote this when i relized i couldn't stand a guy...

please comment...

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Comments

  • DustyOldHalo
    December 1, 2006

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    Will add to my collection

    Line 14, it's you're ....and Author notes....it's realized.

    But, if you write poetry like i do, i don't tend to correct it. I write from the heart and it's hard for me to correct my heart. I get the feeling it's the same with you.

    I see a hint of passion in your poem, but it lacks real hurt, anguish?

  • Greenby
    September 4, 2006
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    It's funny I've thought the same way about a guy too. Again, very casual writing style you have here. Perhaps you could develop this a little by using some hidden meaning and clever phrases. There seems to be a lot of direct uses of words and phrases here. Though, it's always good to have this kind of thing here once in a while. I've used that phrase: "that when you say you care, your really never there" before in one of my poems too. What a nice coincidence. Keep it up