~Chapter ZERO~1
I ran trough the woods, listening to the quick but quiet sound of Connors were-wolf feet. It was dark, but I knew the woods near my school really well.2
I was tired of running, but I wouldn't stop until I heard the steps behind me stop. Enough skipping ahead, I should start at the beginning.3
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My name is Heather Stonebridge and, come Monday, I'm leaving my step-parents forever and going to Lakewood Boarding school... At least until summer.5
I'm fourteen years old, my parents are dead and my step-parents hate my guts...that's my family in a nutshell. Well, except my step-sister. Her name's Kathrine but everyone calls her Kat. She’s sixteen years old is totally awesome. She’s the only one in my family that doesn't hate my very presence.6
Conner, who I told you about earlier, is my best-friend. He's going to go to Lakewood with me. Conner has been my friend since my parents died in a car crash when I was eight years old.7
Kat told me about Lakewood and I’ll pass on the info to you. Lakewood is split into four sections: Water, Fire, Earth, and Air. Kat goes to earth. I don’t know what section I’m going to yet since I’m only just starting. The Water dormitory is built on and under a lake! The Fire dormitory is built partway up a mountain. The Earth dormitory is built deep in the woods near the main building, and the Air dormitory she didn’t tell me about, I don’t know why. Kat didn’t tell me how the teachers decide what section you go to, either. She keeps a lot about Lakewood secret.8
Author notes
Just something I came up with overnight.
sorry if it sucks(hey, I'm only 11, I stil suck at writing)
Chapter one: http://storywrite.com/story/show/48822
A contest entry
- Diversity Goes - - II by IvoryRose.
250 points, ended August 1, 2006, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think and tell me about any grammer mistakes.
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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trough-though
I like this beginning and the idea of a chapter zero.
This story sounds interesting, did you write more? -
So far I like it!!! A few typos and kinks but other than that, I want to read more! I think the ending might need more because it just kinda....stops.
~Aurora~
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I've read this before and I still like it. I don't remember but is there more?
~*Brooke*~ -
i like it!!!!
im gonna start to read chap one now!!! i have a feeling im going to love this story!!! very, very good beginning. i have the feeling this has huge potential and that ur going to make it awesome, keep it up!
Taylor
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Keep up the good work cause it's really good so far. please continue! I'm really looking forward to reading more...and don't let your age get to you...anyone can write well just try your best.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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I ran trough the woods, listening - through
were-wolf feet - werewolf
That's the only grammar problems I really noticed. Yes, I see the Harry Potter sense and I love that; but it's different enough to stand on it's own two feet.
Keep going, can't wait to read more!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I love the Harry Potter sense of it. I think to come up with something like this is really neat. Cool
Can't wait to see what happens.
~Phoenixflower~
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Great beginning! You have got a great setting for an intriguing story. The fact that you mentioned Heather's guts makes the setting right for a great adventure. Go on and finish it...add some new characters, the first impressions of Lakewood, a silly mistake... I'd love to read what happens next.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, characters: 4.
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This is a great start. Very Harry Potten like, I must admit, but it has potential. You could add more detail and flesh out what you do have. Good place to end the section, makes the reader want to keep reading. This write has a lot of potential. Make a story out of it...if you already haven't (I'm sure you have). Good luck.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, characters: 4.
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Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a very good write that you had penned here, wow your very good with stories very g -
Yeah this reminds me of Harry potter!I like how you started the beginning it was ver interesting and different!
I think you are very talented and did a great job
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thanks for the comment
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Didn't pay attention to the grammer mistakes but I did get the feeling of a Harry Potter kind of thing going on. I liked the elements coming into play in your story and I urge you to continue this path. You left me wanting to know more about this 'Air' you were talking about.
I'm going to leave the ending, characters, and plot unrated because theres not enought info on them.
~Syren~
beginning: 4, language: 4, dialog: 4.
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thanks for the comment,i did kinda base this on Harry Potter but I'm trying to make it different
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