Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns the archetypes for the Harry Potter series as well as some of the characteristics of the characters. I own the rest. Except for, of course, everything.
Spoilers: I'm keeping the plot consistent up to about book five but book six never happened. *enter jedi mind trick* ~It never happened~ There will be six chapters eventually. Currently there are only four.
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Prologue ~ Birthday Letters: Dear Harry.
Dear Harry,
Happy birthday!! Hope you like your present. You're going to come and stay at the Burrow with us in August right? Mum is thrilled to see you as always, it's always "Harry this" and "Harry that", really very sickening. A warning, Fred and George are up to things again so keep an eye open. Their shop is doing pretty well now too, when we go shopping could you get me some stuff from there? Seeing as how you get everything free there anyway. Hermione is really on the rampage, I don't doubt you've already got her letter on how we should be spending our "intellectually stimulating" summer. See you soon.
Ron.
Harry smiled ruefully and picked the package off the bed where he had chucked it while he read Ron's letter. Unpacking it he found broom polish and a book on "Famous Quidditch Maneuvers of the Early Nineties".
While he had been reading Ron's letter, Hermione's owl Athena had glided into his open window and was now waiting impatiently to be relieved of it's burden. Harry took the package (he could tell it was a book, just by the shape, and probably a very scholarly one too) and the letter from the owl's claws and directed Athena to Hedwig's dishes of food and water. Hedwig politely moved over as Harry turned his attention to the letter and started reading.
Dear Harry,
A very happy birthday to you. I do hope you find your present helpful. Since I know you have to take Advanced Potions with Snape this year, (and let's face it, you need all the help you can get) I've enclosed a copy of "The Best Bottles in Potion History". Hopefully this will give a much needed edge. As it happens, I've already started on our study schedules for the upcoming year and I can tell you, they don't leave much room for dilly-dallying. I'm going to be going shopping with the Weasleys come mid-August, Ron tells me you will be visiting so I hope we get to meet up. I can't wait to show you two all the lovely reading material I've researched on. Hope you are having an intellectually stimulating summer as I am.
Your Friend,
Hermione
Harry smiled at this bubbly and typical Hermione letter. "Intellectually Stimulating" indeed. He knew that this cheer from his two best friends was really just an effort to keep him from brooding on his godfather's death, and he appreciated it, but the fact that Sirius was dead wasn't going to away. Or the fact that Sirius was dead because of Harry, because of his absolute stupidity. Harry sighed and flopped onto his bed, his thoughts drifting back to the accident as they often did. Soon he was once again lost in his own depression. He hadn't even unwrapped Hermione's present.
Author notes
this takes long time, four chapters are up. I predict six altogether.
The first chapter can be found at: http://storywrite.com/story/show/55741
In a list
A contest entry
- Fan fiction (With a twist) HP by isisspirit.
135 points, ended January 31, 2007, 7 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
This is long, please give me feedback!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *rawr*
Comments
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this was terrifically wonderful, as all of it is. please please continue! lOL. -
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and hey, didn't you already read this one before?
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not that i know of. i dont think so...
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well I've got comments on it from you back in January. Just scroll down and look.
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Ah vell. then I read it again!
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lol well if you click the link in my author notes, it'll take you to the next chapter.
This story is almost done. I just need to figure out the last one or two installments to wrap it up.
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oooooo good job!! yay, im off to read part 2.
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*grins*
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Hey, the first thing I must say I noticed was the awsome vocab in the disclaimer! Sorry, lol, but it did impress me, it shows you read alot. Only a couple of flaws I could pick up on here, for one, The Weasleys live at "The Burrow" not "The Hollow" You will probably kick yourself when I point this out 'cus you probably didn't even realise you did it. "Godric's Hollow" is when the Potters Lived. The only other think I would point out is the length, it is general knowledgs on this site (Or maybe just the people I associate with) That 1 Chapter equals about 1000- 1500 words, it is a nice length to read and it splits it nicely. If this was a prologue, the length would be more apropriate and it could work as one if you wanted. Great Idea with the letters, although you should maybe review ron's Character a bit, the language is a bit off and Hermione is a bit OTT for this late in the series. Dont get me wrong, I really like the start of this, I am just a huge critic. This is a really good piece. I am going to check out the rest. Thanks for entering and best of luck Hugs, Becca
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*blinks*
Okay, I feel stupid now for putting "hollow" instead of "burrow." Let's count it up to....brain damage. Yes, that's right. Brain damage.
Joking aside.
You may be right about the Prologue bit. I'm not usually the type to count words whe I'm storying but I do get your point about the length. I have a habit of doing shorter bits when I write fanfiction because it allows me to reach a bit of a wider audience (I know many people who scroll through a story to see how long it is...and if it's too long, they just don't read it). As this chapter was really only meant to acclimate a person to the cureent situation, it may be resigned to prologue status indeed.
I honestly have to admit I spent zero to zilch time on Ron's character for this fic...he just is very minor to my plot unfortunately. I'm a bit depressed you thought my letter from Hermione a bit over the top though. Although she isn't nearly this bad in person, she does tend to get a bit...businesslike when it comes to her letters. *sigh* I'll put it on my list of things to fix. (a very long list indeed.)
Thanks for the critique.
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Ok, I am hooked and moving on to the next chapter
I find it very much in keeping with the tone of the Harry Potter sequence. And again, you perked my interest so I have no choice but to click on the next chapter
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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it's always nice to know my story is consistent with the original series.
*goes to follow her on her journey*
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AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, great job! I love the idea for the story (I always thought is should be Harry and Hermione rather than her and Ron anyway ) Just a note, where it says..."just last week Katie Bell had snapped at him for having the snitch two inches from his nose and noticing." shouldnt it be NOT noticing? and then..."seen one of his professor's memories, a not very flattering one where he saw his father act like a jerk and his mother act like Snape's protector." maybe you could change 'not very flattering' to 'unflattering'? just a suggestion to make the story flow better. i love it so far and might even steal the idea of making up a story about harry and co. hope u dont mind. if u do, TELL ME! lol, thats an order, plz.
anyway, i love the unexpected twists that this one has, great job so far and i SERIOUSLY cant wait to read more!

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Heh...
you wanna know the stupid thing? I actually corrected that katie bell error in a previous version of the story but then I ended up doing a lot of copy and pasting in notepad and it must have gotten lost since. Thanks for pointing it out.
*looks at her story* I'll prolly keep the "not very flattering" though, it seems to fit in better with the style I gave Harry's thoughts.
There's a lot of fanfiction out there. For instance, I belong to fanfiction.net and tthfanfic.com. As well I belong to a group here on storywrite http://storywrite.com/group/show/Fan%20fic%20and%20alternate%20ending%20writers (though it's just starting out)
As well, you can check out stories in the Fanfiction catagory on here if you're interested.
I'd love to see what you come up with when you write your own.
Thanks for the comment, there's actually two more chapters I need to add to this, i'll im you when it's done.
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