A fool's errand

So the questions loomed in the monster’s mind- could this little hero ever be trusted, and could they ever be friends?
The monster looked at the hero, and wasn't sure if this was possible. The little guy was still looking for a way to kill him, and had just bumped his head against the wall of the cave. The monster blocked most of the light suspended from the top of his cavernous abode because of his size, but the little guy should be more careful.1

"What ho! Beast, why dost thou try to slay me whilst I am searching for mine weapon? "Tis not honourable to do so whilst I am unarmed."2

"I didn't do that." 3

The hero lifted up his scissors once more, and tried once again to subdue the giant monster. He waved the scissors madly above his head, shouting loudly. 4

"Come to me, beast!!"5

Men, thought the monster, rolling his eyes.6

Our hero charged at the monster, screaming in a very noble, and manly, manner.7

The monster simply lifted the scissors up with only two fingers.8

"Why are you still trying to fight me?" He asked, shaking the scissors a bit, making our hero kick wildly to hang on. "You only have a 1,000,000-to-1 chance of killing me. And all I want to do is talk."9

"Talk." Our hero struggled to hang on, still kicking wildly.10

"Yes. My name is Harold."11

"Harold?" asked the hero, looping his arms through the holes in the scissors.12

"Yes. I just want someone to talk to, because I need to be entertained."13

"Entertained?" Our hero stopped kicking, and simply looked14

"Yes. Even monsters such as I get lonely."15

"Lonely?"16

Geeze, thought the monster, this guy is thicker than a congested troll. Maybe I should just squish him.17

Suddenly, though, our hero quit squirming.18

"My name is Geogrin Hasuif. I live in ye olde towne of Topeka, and have for many a year. Lovely maidnes adore me, and every man wishes that he could be me."19

"Really?"

"Yes. Say, Harold, would thee mine setting me down so that I might rest mine bones?"20

"Sure."21

Really, Harold thought, this guy isn't as stupid as I thought he was. We might even become friends, go to some parties, meet some girls - 22

Really, Geogrin thought, this guy isn't as stupid as I thought he was. I shalt need to use my intellect to subdue him so that I might chance to do mine noble deed.23

Once on the ground, Geogrin brushed off his knees, looking around the cavernous dwelling as he did so. He was looking for his assets, so that he might gain the upper hand. So far, he had nothing.24

Harold looked down at him, and suddenly became suspicious.25

"What are you looking for, friend?"26

"Dost thee have any food? I have a hunger, and it might besooth thee to deliver me some food so that thee and I might partake of a meal of substinance."27

"You mean food."28

"Aye."29

"I might have something." The monster, while still suspicious, turned his back to look and see what he had to give the little guy.30

It was then that Geogrin saw his opening. The monster - or Harold - had a giant red "X" tatooed on his back. Geogrin thought back to the times his mother had told him wise words. 31

"Never get on a giant's bad side". No, that wasn't it. 32

"Never let down a person who trusts thee". No, not that either. 33

"When thee sees an "X" on the back of a hairy, smelly monster, that's their weak spot. If thou shouldst shove a pair of giant scissors into that spot, then they will die". Good Mother! he thought. 34

The monster turned halfway back around. 35

"I have ships and salsa!!" He said, grinning over at his new buddy.36

"Die, thee monster! Perish in the abyss!!"37

And with that, Geogrin shoved the pair of scissors into Harolds back.38

Just as quickly, Harold thumped him on the head.39

Harold sighed, and picked him up and laid him down on the ground outside the cave. He shed a tear over his now deceased, back-stabbing friend, and then went back into the cave to eat the salsa. It was, after all, his favorite food.40

Geogrin's mother had been right about her saying. But Harold wasn't smelly.41