I looked down at the corner of my screen as I see her sign in. I click on her name n wait for da box. All i say is "how's Jess?".I was in da mood to stir someone up and she was da perfect person cuz i knew she would answer. I didnt expect her to take it as she did. I didnt wanna upset her that much but I did in a way. I did enjoy it but den she fuckin went to far. Why da fuck would you tell one of your friends to go and hurt em self. I mean if you really did care you wouldnt do that. After dat I just went fuck it if she cared she wouldnt of said dat. I blocked her den logged off n went to my room n put my music on. I wasnt planin on fallin asleep but wen i woke up all i could think about was wat she said. I fought dat maybe she would forget bout it but i was wrong. Instead of forgetin she published our convo on da net, den told me to read it. Did she expect me to be kool bout it I mean really it was a privite convo...I dont no if she ment to upset me on purpose or not but either way she upset me more den I was. I cant even look at her since that day and it was a month ago.I couldnt care I mean if she wants to be a bitch den she can hav fun cuz dis is one chick who will never get bak cuz I dont put up wif people who would tell otha people to kill em self!!!1
Author notes
just a quick fing on my side of a story
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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var var different..... I loved this peice Bob
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hmm unique writing and kept me intersted because of it. and if that is true that isnt a good friend at all...if she was a real friend she would have told her the opposite of what she said.
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her riting was the first thing i've noticed but it's how she like rites it and also she can be unique.
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check over your sentences there should always be a space after a period, "i's" should be capitalized and you should double check your spelling. Unless it's a direct quote, writing isn't in slang, it detracts from the story. it's an interesting beginning and if you break this up into paragraphs it would make it easier to identify with.
I'd like to know more about the characters, looks, mannerisms, facial expressions, that sort of thing.
Interesting beginning I hope you work with this and see where it takes you. -
interesting
I have to agree with some of the other authors, i did get a little confused with ur writing style, but having been told I knew what happened so I understood it a little more than most people and I though you could have varied with your tone -
i'm not sure if you want critisism on this or not if you do please let me know and i'll be more specific. for now just go over your spelling. "chat talk" is confusing
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I agree with midnight here. eventhough this is the way that you type, the story would be much better if you wrote the words correctly. I think that you should add more detail into this and make paragraphs. Its not bad but you can make it better. That last sentence is definately a run-on sentence.
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Why do you talk type that way? It was kind of hard to read.
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i dont no..its just how i type
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guess what, it worked, you didn't kill yourself to spite me! I RULE
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i dont fink so...
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