Long Live the Writer Chapter 1

The sun was bright ahead of me as I approached the hotel door. My knuckles were just about to make contact in the form of a knock when the door flew open. Before me stood a large man wearing a suit and tie. He had a warm smile on his face as he welcomed me in, taking my bags.1

“Welcome Miss Marshall. We’ve been expecting you.” The cliche phrase caused shivers to up and down my arms. What was this place? It felt like I was entering a horror movie. I looked at him politely, or at least what I thought was polite and smiled.
After signing in he showed me upstairs to my room. The gorgeous interior was not what I had expected. The furniture was all made of a light wood and in a very beachy style. Bamboo dressers and flower decorations gave a natural feel to the room. The only thing that wasn’t a surprise was the giant four post canopy bed in the middle of the room. Of course, what else could possibly as cliche or creepy. 2

I put my suitcase down on the bed and opened it. After unpacking all my things and placing them in the dresser, I decided to check out the bathroom. I walked across the far wall that shared both the bathroom and the closet doors. Putting my hand on the doorknob I could almost hear the suspenseful music playing in the background. I turned the knob and slowly let the door creek open. Leaning forward to peak in I saw a marble sink and tub with gold knobs and soft corral rugs. The sink was mounted in a counter with drawers beneath it and a mirror above it. The toilet must have been just behind the cabinet. Just a normal, well very ritzy, but normal bathroom.3

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She walked out and grabbed her keys off the dresser. Putting them in the pocket of her jeans she walked out of the room and locked the door. She walked down the lavishly decorated hallway to the top of the stairs. The beautiful banister was perfectly smooth and curved with the staircase all the way down. She couldn't resist. She hopped up on the banister and pushed off. Leaning to avoid falling off half way she slid all the way down and jumped off at the end. She was one.4

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I landed swiftly on my feet. Cat-like reflexes. The chill down my spine was there again and I felt like I was being watched. I turned to look back upstairs. How silly There is nobody watching me. My imagination was getting the best of me. Being a writer had it's up side. But this was the down side. The creepy murderers and rapists that you write about always haunt you. I always feared the bush in the dark and the monster under the bed. Right now wasn’t the time though, I had to go meet Geoffrey for lunch.
At the main desk I called for a taxi and waited patiently to see it through the windows in the front. When it finally arrived I rushed out to meet the driver. The hurried lifestyle never leaves you, even when you leave it. 5

The scenery was amazing. Lush trees and beautiful lakes. The forests were dazzling. There was nothing around the hotel for miles. There I went sounding like a scary movie once again. I never got over how I set up plots for scary stories in my mind. I really should stop if I ever wanted to live a healthy life. As my thoughts raced away I felt the jolt of a car stopping and looked up. We were parked on the curb by the restaurant. I reached in my back pocked and pulled out my wallet. After paying the driver I slid across the seat and out of the car.
“I will pick you up at 3 ma’am” His soft voice surprised me and I turned to face him a bit more abruptly than I’d hoped.
“Ah, yes. Thank you.” I stepped out of the car and felt the clean air hit my face. It was perfect weather, but I was glad I had grabbed a few jackets for the nighttime. Unlike the city this place would actually cool down at night. 6

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The shadows of my room were perfect for contemplating her. My princess would be mine soon. Oh how she resembles the dark one. She doesn’t even know yet. She’ll have the fierceness. That fire that burns in all of us. She’d be ready soon.7

“You’re thinking about her aren’t you?” Her sharp high voice rang out of the darkness. 8

“Yes.” I looked up and let my eyes adjust as the seductive form became visible in front of me. The long black hair reaching to the waist, the tight corset and the black jeans tighter than skin all drew me to you. The eyes, those glowing green eyes those drew me in the most. 9

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He got up slowly and walked over grabbing me by the waist. Kissing me hard I felt the want inside him. But it wasn’t want for me, it was want for her. It was want for the human. I pulled away from him just far enough to whisper.10

“Fine you do what yo like, but know this she won’t want you. And even if she does, what of it? She’s not me. I get you. I made you and now you’re mine. She’s too pure. But you do what you like.” 11

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She pulled away with strength few other creatures possessed and walked toward the other room. I watched her body move away and desire filled me, but I wasn’t about to chase after her. Instead I let myself fall back onto the couch where I returned to comfortably contemplating. 12

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“Geoff, hi. How have you been?” I stood in a patch of sunlight just outside of the restaurant feeling warm and cozy as Geoffrey walked out to greet me. It was almost like he knew I would be there exactly then, or like he was watching for me. Regardless he was there. 13

“I’ve been good. I missed you.” He stepped in and hugged me a warm, soft, long time no see hug. Not quite what I had wanted or expected, but hey it had been 3 years. Why should I expect the man to still have feelings for me? After all I had ended, he probably already moved on.14

We moved inside and sat to lunch. The small talk and nervous banter led to comfortable conversation and flirting. Emotions I thought were gone for good, emotions I feared for this week were springing up. Through all the chatting I didn’t even notice the 5 hours that had flown by in the restaurant. As I glanced at my watch in shock Geoff did the same. 15

“Oh god, it’s 6 already? It’ll be dark soon and your taxi left 3 hours ago.” He sounded worried. He worried about me? All of a sudden a feeling of warmth spread over my entire body. He cared. I didn't think he'd worry much past the small talk and the memories anymore. Those long ago memories that had made so very close and then thrown so very far. I kept thinking about the what if's that made up my past. 16

-- "I'll love you forever you know?" his sweet voice whispered in my ear as his warm breath tickled my neck. He sat behind me holding me in his arms as we watched the sun set beyond the field of wildflowers. The colors dispersed randomly among the tall grass that flowed and rippled in the wind reminding me of the waves on the ocean on a calm day. 17

“Forever eh?” I smirked knowing that he could hear it in my voice. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” I squeezed his arms on my stomach. It was absolutely wonderful to have him hold me. I wished that what he promised really was forever. I knew he was just caught up in the moment, but a girl can wish can’t she? He squeezed back, comforting me, trying to reassure me. 18

“I never do.” He leaned and kissed my neck and I turned to him as a smile spread across my lips. Our lips met in a soft kiss that lasted what seemed like forever. By the time we moved apart the sun had already set.
We kissed again and as he ran his hands across my body I fell more and more in love. 19

We made love under the stars that night and I thought it was magical. I remember that night much to clearly even to this day. It seems cliche to think of it now, but the best romantic moments always seem to be. --20

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Nikki looked so beautiful sitting across from lost in thought. God only knows how I wished I could capture this moment forever. At one point she had been mine, but then she broke away. Foolishly I let her go thinking she would come back. I could see the mistake now, but then I was sure she would return to me. I was sure she was only mine. 21

Those far away days were all I had left. I had promised her to love her forever and to this day I had kept my promise, unable to let go of the one girl who seemed not to want me. Though I had been married that ended in a messy divorce. Tamara, had been beautiful and on the day we signed the papers she told me that though she loved me, she couldn’t be with a man where she wasn’t his one and only. I had never cheated, but apparently my affections Nikki showed through the facade I had tried to build up. Maybe now she would finally get her promise, maybe this was my second chance. Or maybe I was foolishly letting myself fall again. Either way it was worth a shot.22

Her trance was broken and I looked away to glance at my watch again. It was hard to make it look inconspicious but I tried. 23

“Why don’t I give you a ride back to the hotel? The cabby will be forever.” 24

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His question of genuine concern was good to hear. It seemed more and more like nobody cared as the years flew by. I nodded and picked up my purse. Once I had all my belongings and the money for the bill lay on the table we set off for the door. I smiled as he offered me his arm just as he had years before whenever we went anywhere. I took it willingly and followed him to his car.25

The blue Cadillac convertible drove out and the valet hopped out handing Geoff the keys. I stood in shock as he examined my face.26

“This is yours? How? I thought you said you owned a small business?” I turned to him slowly and then back toward the car. I had been published and my books made best sellers several times, and I still couldn’t afford much more than my Toyota Corolla. 27

“Yeah, did I forget to mention that the hotel you’re staying at is mine?” he smirked, obviously trying to both shock an impress me. He didn’t have to try this hard, I’d been impressed with him for years, but I had to admit this was a shock.28

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The coffee mug glared at me as I discussed with myself whether or not to pour another cup. The reports on the desk called for my attention. The strange disappearance had only started a few months ago but the reports had piled up. The countryside had always been dangerous and pretty girls often turned up missing only to be found weeks later mauled by some animal. These were different. There had been no bodies, no nothing and they all had gone into the city the night before not into the woods as would be expected. Most were seen being picked up by an attractive gentleman that nobody could seem to identify past his piercing eyes. Some by a young woman who also mysteriously evaded description. The next morning none of them showed up their to respective jobs, hotels, or homes. The young man and woman who were involved were nowhere to be found either, until the next time. 29

“Sergeant?” I spun in my chair, away from the angry mug and the never ending pile of mysterious cases, to face the voice behind me. The pretty brunette was my secretary, Lizzie. She stood with a another folder in her hands and a somewhat discontented look on her face. I already knew what the folder contained. 30

“Another one?” I got up as she stepped forward and took the folder from her hand. As she looked at me expectantly I sat back down in the office chair and turned to face my mess of a desk again. I waved his hand behind him to let her go back to her phone calls and opened the folder. The photo was of yet another pretty girl. This one was a redhead with lively eyes. She must have been no older than 25. Now she’d never see her next birthday.31

Author notes

So I tried splitting this up but I recieved some complaints, I figured I'd just do it by chapters... Here goes tell what you think.

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Violet Moodswing gold member
    December 14, 2006

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    I reached in my back pocked -- intended pocket? I can't really tell you any other typos I saw because I got involved in the story and missed them I like the way you go back and forth between reality and the writers mind. It is very consistent in the way we think and form storylines etc. By the end it is a bit harder to discern which is real and which is the creative mind at work, but that should make for a more interesting series.

    Glad I stopped by


  • LostSoulOfRage
    October 31, 2006

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    there are a few spelling errors, but other than that this was really good. i loved the way u discriped everything, it made me feel like i was actually there. i think the way u splitted it up was brillant, it was a little confussing at first but the story brought it out. it let us know both of the characters feelings and thoughts. it was lovely. great job. i cant wait to read more of this.


  • Lady Pixie
    October 3, 2006

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    Wow

    Very expertly written, great description- however I do agree with PWN princess... I did get a little thrown off in the beginning until it picked up and I realized what you were doing. It's still very well written and I enjoyed reading. Look forward to reading more

  • RevHead
    August 29, 2006

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    very descriptive. it kinda went on and on through for the first little bit... and then it jumped straight into this (what sounded like a) bi-sexual love affair thing? i dont really get why you did that (my friend enjoyed that though...).

    I kinda got lost as to where this story was going, and it was too long for me to be able to sit there and read it right through, and make sense of it.


  • DennisP1
    August 5, 2006

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    Fascinating and Visual

    Hello Kat, (see, I can get it right sometimes..lol)

    I loved the attention to detail and character development. If I have time today I will read chapter two as well.

    The only critiques are just typos. I will point a few of these out for your convience in locating them.

    Hmm it would be easier if the lines or paragraphs were numbered. Try indenting them rather then using line breaks. That should make the program respond and number them for you.

    First section:

    2nd para missing word; First line; "The cliche phrase caused shivers to (go, travel, etc.) up and down my arms"

    3rd para Last line; "Of course, what else could possibly (be) as cliche or creepy."

    Second Section;

    lots of walking and reads choppy. Try using other ways of describing the action here.

    Third section;

    you changed from first person to third, then back to first again, confusing.

    "How silly(,) There is (was?) nobody watching me." punctuation.

    Fifth section:

    “Fine you do what yo(u) like, but know this(,) she won’t want you.

    Side note: internal dialog should be itialized or placed within quotation marks.

    I lost track of section breaks. But, first line of this section;

    "Nikki looked so beautiful sitting across from (me) lost in thought.

    It is a little hard to follow when you use first person on more than one character in a section, also, the moving so often from past to present is a little confusing.

    Yet, because of the excellent visuals it kept me reading on. I hope the critique helps a little.

    Your friend,

    Dennis


  • PWN Princess
    July 6, 2006

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    Amazing

    I did get slightly thrown off a couple of times, but once I picked up the way you were writing it, it was excellently written. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

1 - 6 of 6